Ruben Is “Captain Chaos?”


It just looks weird when mainstream news wires would write out whack sounding nicknames for NBA players, even if it’s real. Exhibit A: Ruben Patterson is being “Quoted/Unquoted” with the affectionate name of “Captain Chaos” by the Getty Images people. Now I don’t doubt their sources (actually I do, they get their captions wrong, a lot) but having someone actually sit down and type those two words down without a sense of irony is pretty darn funny, to me at least. It just sounds stupid, “Yo Cap’n Chaos, what are your team’s objectives?”

Suggestions for future nicknames that should appear in Yahoo! or any other legit wire sources now that “Captain Chaos” makes the cut

    • Sebastian “Vector Squad” Telfair
    • Drew “Piña Colada” Gooden
    • Juwan “rrrrrrrrr” Howard
    • Keyon “Optimus Prime” Dooling
    • Brent “Eat Fresh” Barry
    • James “Mongoose Hunter” Posey

Y’know, just whatever.

Bucks Ships Joe Smith To Nuggets []


  1. Darren

    lmao nice work man! How the hell did they come up with Posey’s nick? Keep up the laughs 😀

  2. piston1322236-3

    Seriously, who the fuck wrote that? I thought his nickname was kobe-stopper.

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