NBA TOONS: The NBA Alphabet

So I took a very interesting and fun “challenge” I saw on BoingBoing earlier and thought it’d be a good experiment to do a 1 Hour Mad Dash Doodle of things pertaining to the NBA. This post might get lenghty (and/or bad for your eyes if you don’t like amateur cartoonists) so below is the whole thing in bulk and after the jump, I have written down some reasonings and explainations for said “bulk-drawings” as each one gets worse than the previous ones…


First of all this challenge was set by ApeLad over at Flickr and his stuff is just…wow.. Anyways, I’m no pro, but just had some time on my hands to have a hack at it. Here goes the NBA Alphabet:

Letter A is for “Air Ball” Obviously this isn’t what it really means to have an “air ball” but fuck it, I couldn’t think of anything funny to start with the Letter A. So we get to start a bit slow here.. stay with me….

Letter B is for Block Party. Whenever someone blocks you, of course there’s musical notes accompanying the embarrassment. Son got taken to school yo!

Letter C is for Carlos Arroyo.
Umm… I really don’t know why I choose his for the prestiguous entry of C. I didn’t even make it look anything like him! Oh.. so sad.. but that’s that..


Letter D is for D-Fence. Once again, not what you expected. I’m sure I made the same joke when I was 11. So if you make fun of this entry, then you’re making fun of a kid.. you bully.

Letter E is for ESPN Sucks!

I hear ESPN didn’t gag when they swallowed ABC Sports whole… (too dirty?)

But other than that, I don’t know why I hate on them as much.. I never really watched a single minute of ESPN’s channel.. it was only events that I watched.. then again, they really suck at broadcasting events.. So I guess if the transitive law works: If ESPN Broadcast = Suck, thus ESPN Channel is SUCK

Letter F is for Free Agency. Of course, no one is reallly “free” huh? That is why Special Agent Smith is here to represent the inevitability of humans be crushed and dominated by ungodly artificial intelligence bound to take over the whole world…..(what the hell just happened…)

Anyways, Agent Smith is onto you.

Letter G is for G.O.A.T. Hey, who said the Greatest of All Time isn’t the actually animal huH? Who?

Letter H is for Hair. Y’all recognize that do’

Letter I is for Iverson. No jokes here. He’s just a really amazing player, even 10 years in. 🙂

Letter J is for Jack Nicholson. Ah, Jacky boy, a staple of the Staples Center (heh). With the Eyebrows of Zeus, how can you not love this guy. NH.. you don’t have to “love him” nah mean? Word.

Letter K is for Kicks. What self-respecting baller won’t admit that they love kicks just as much as women love their “[insert stereotypical slander of the female gender while adding a subtext of humor]”? Exactly!

I just wish either a) I worked a bit more to have more $ for shoes or b) someone gives them to me for free… hmmm

Letter L is for Last Shot! Always the dramatic photo finish, looking up at the clock, seeing how much time is left… look into your defender(s)’ eyes and know in your soul you can take them… 2….1… the rest is history

Letter M is for Moses Malone. Alright, I won’t lie, my simple humor barometer is sometimes stuck at Age 10 or less. Of course I know Moses Malone doesn’t have white hair! But he did lead his people to the promise land right? AM I RIGHT?

Letter N is for “No look pass”. It’s cool, it’s nifty, and it fools the defenders. Nothing funny about that. This is serious business people!

Letter O is for Omnipresense. David Stern is everywhere guys. Don’t you ever forget it. He’ll be like Obi-Wan someday.. when Darth LebronMeloWade decide to takeover the League and strike him down… alas… he’ll be more powerful than they can ever imagine..

Letter P is for Podcast. One hopes The Basketball Jones does not take offence to this if they happen to come across this humble site (one does hope they do come by actually) but I cannot get enough of their P-Casts. They are great, I am simply giving them a “tribute” if you will, by including them in my NBA Alphabet world.

Letter Q is for Quotes: This guy looks nothing like Rasheed Wallace… but I’m making a point okay? That he’s the only mofo that spits the truth like he dun give a crap’s ass.

Letter R is for Referees. Referees use whistles. I am totally fucking up how this game should be played

Letter S is for Slam Magazine. Great writing, great humor, great online website.

Letter T is for TimeOut. Who is that… Howar…?

Letter U sucked.. it’s not showing up due to extreme suckiness (even on these standards).

Letter V is for “Victory”. As in “Victory shall be mine!”

Letter W is for WHhhaaaAAT? Okay!

Letter X is for X-Men. Yes, this REALLY has nothing to do with NBA. Fuck it, I like X-Men. And Cyclops never gets his due.. also, what can you come up with that starts with X that has to do with NBA?

Letter Y is for Yes! Marv, the best in the business.. even though he cross dressed.. (hey, I didn’t want to know about it, now I made whomever that’s still reading this not want to know about it either.. but too late sucka!)

Letter Z is for Zorro. Yeah, “anti-climatic” is an understatement.. this should’ve gone the way of Letter U, but he has a funny hat.

Ahhh… I hope that was fun for you… as it gave you insight into this weird structure called my brain. And it really had nothing to do with the NBA much huh? That’s what happens around these parts. The whole batch can be seen over at my flickr page here. Anyways, weekend ahead looks fun and I’m going to try to enjoy it as much as I can, so see y’alls next week!


  1. SG

    Wow! This is awesome. Nice work.

  2. lol those are rad man!
    the moses malone description and the stewie pic are too cool 4 school 😀

  3. Aww, I’m flattered guys! It was a fun experiment and I’m just glad I made it to the level of “too cool 4 school” lol next I’m aiming for “too nice 4 rice!”

  4. This is so awesome, Hype!! Respect. Marv looks like Conan O’Brian, which is the funniest. Oh and X = Xavier McDaniel, from the 80s, known as the X Man.

  5. Unintentional comedy is also an artform I aim for.. Conan’s the best! But Chris: X-Man, X-Men.. you think it was just coincidence? Eh..?… Okay I’m BS-ing, but definitely good pick (*run to find some Xavier vids*)

  1. 1 Most Valuable Network - End Of The Bench

    Howie Knows the Alphabet

    Just getting in after a weekend away, I wanted to point people in a few different directions via some links.
    Howie the Hype knows his NBA alphabet. He put a lot of work into some of these hilarious sketches, so go check them out.
    Golden State of Mi…

  2. 2 Improving ESPN’s Prestige Rankings: Public Comment « Rush the Court

    […] Graphic Credit (The Hype) […]

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