Archive for February, 2007

So I thought I could’ve held out for another couple of days seeing that my blogging brain was taking a breather with studyin/papers and whatnot (ESPECIALLY the whatnot) but I succumbed to the inevitable holler of ye NBA bloggin (AT 4AM TOO!!).

So hells yeah, I’m the latest recruit into the Legion of NBA FanHaus Bloggers/CrimeFighters where I’ll hopefully, finally, learn the goodness that is spellcheck—oh, that and actually posting things that reaches (by my estimations) at least 9 other people that likes ‘toons.

That’s the biggie thing of the day/week, hopefully y’all come by and check out my shnits over there. But don’t worry happy campers, The Unrelatedess ain’t going nowhere (that’s a fact, I specifically signed a document with this fella called Lucifer) because damnit I paid for the domain name so I’ll get my money’s worth!

Alright, so, we all saw it by now. I’m not going to link to it because, well, I’m sure it’s pretty much the most seen thing for the past day. First off, I hope Shaun Livingston makes the best of recoveries and secondly wish that no one else ever goes through that. But well, we see a common denominator of late… one that I linked to the other day (Jake helped me connect the dots)… so Gatorade? Let’s just pull those ads out of the running for a while shall we?

And finally, because I got my NerdTee (yay!) I felt to need to answer a primal call from something, somewhere asking me to break out some new shirts… (please Jared don’t sue! 🙂 )

Hopefully the Bog’s devout DC followers finds these acceptable. I do wish the’d wear it and go to a local Subways, all at once just to see what their reactions would be like.

Don’t do it for me… do it for… the fresh tomatoes!!

eat THIS jared!

they better wear this on BogTVOther assortments of random shirts are updated here and visit store here.


We also would’ve accepted: “Man, fuck this!” or “Shenanigans!” but the editing process is a complex beast that could go 7 rounds with LOST’s ‘black myst monster’. And oh yea… Steve’s head is big, I wonder why no one else picked up this, like, ever. Huh.

To fill ya up with Steve “Hemmoraging A Franchise” Francis: TrueHoop et SLAMonline (with a Francis cover shot.. his head there is barely that one!)

Like the title says, I’m doing a bit of recyclin’. This was done a while back, but I didn’t know it was a Nostradamus sort of connection between a game this afternoon and tonight’s Hollywood Self-Fatulation Academy Awards

click to enlarger

To quench your undying lust for T-Wolf and Wizardry updates, go here and here. Oh and if Marty Scorsese doesn’t win… let’s just say… Taxi Driver wasn’t just a movie…

oh ps: watching the Bulls-Piston game and saw a very funny D-Wade Gatorade ad. Sigh, too bad.. you know.. he’s pretty much done for the year.. but it was mad funny tho “do it again! do it again!”

A solemn goodbye to Dennis Johnson. CelticsBlog is definitely a place to turn to for perspective and while you’re there, give the guys a good ‘ol blog-hug.

Steven Kerr and J-Mac also wrote about DJ’s lasting effect on the word ‘tough’. RIP DJ.

Speaking of Kerr, dude does it all. After doing color commentary for TNT he has the intestinal fortitude to write about how the Heat can still “theoritically” make it work without Wade. Dude, Steve, bro, buddy, I know you’re throwing them a bone and being a respected analyst of the NBA you’ve got to do that.. but c’mon man, say it with me “the-HEAT-are-done” ahh.. feels good huh.

But look, I’m only burying the team and seriously not giving them a chance now so that when they prove me wrong, it’ll be so much easier to root for them. Think about it: they’re in no position to win—8th in the East with Joisey breathing down just one and a half games behind, Wade out 6 weeks to cry some more, and Riles JUST came back… and oh yeah, only 28 games to be played. “Underdog” is right my friends! If they somehow make it and have Wade back strong, hell yeah I’ll be rooting for them, and I’m not a hypocrite if I stated my intentions (true story).

So follow my equation \frac{x+Heat}{y-Wade}= \int y \mathrm{\Psi}x \times \frac{\Theta}{\Phi} \textit{ where y is Playoffs}

As you can see, my logic is failproof.

Okay, so the big trades were Fred Jonessss to Portland, Juan Dixon to T-Dot, Anthony Johnson to Hawks and ALAN F’ning HENDERSON to the Jazz. Awesome. Though I’ll say this about Dixon’s move, he’s another solid “scoring” PG for the Raps but since Calderon and Ford are pretty good combo as it is, I have a feeling Dix might have a hard time seeing PT (unless he becomes straight up lock-down defender…)

Matt Carroll. Why did I bring up this obscure cat from the Bobcats? I have no freaking clue. Well, maybe because the last point in Rick Bonnell’s Charlotte Observer blog (if only I can grow a moustache…) he mentioned that Carroll is an all around balla, not just a shooter.

— Most people see Matt Carroll as just a shooter. He’s not. He’s an all-around basketball player who can shoot. During Morrison’s scoring run, Carroll grabbed two huge rebounds against taller players. He’s tough, smart and productive.

Carroll’s line is 43% from the field on 3 of 8, goes to the FT stripe tearing up 92% style, getting 11pts per all in 24 minutes this year. And you know he’s a thug because he’s all arm-band and shit! Matt Carroll, Obama’s running mate.

And lastly, I noticed Yahoo¿ now has faux-blogs from Adrian Wojnarowski here. Good for The ‘Hoo! but the comments section is uugh.. so very message-board-y.. *shudder*

damn, I know the title wasn’t original as it is.. then I realize Deadspin used it already.. damnit Will! You know my skill for witty titles only come every other Wednesday!

Is anybody traded yet? Anybody? Bueller?

On to the Tacks!

I’m guessing some of the following have already been linked up all over the webs, but the entires are still amazingly good that it would a crime, against humanity and cute puppies all over the world, if I didn’t put it up here as well.

Check it:

  • George Takei: character actor, Sci-fi icon, and now, Tim Hardaway’s fuck buddy newest lover
  • …which totally makes sense now that you think about it. No wonder he never auditioned for “Young Wet Bitches”
  • Here are my answers to The Feed’s “30 Questions” in totally scrambled order: No, “I dunno”, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, “just because”, no, no, “both”, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, no, “six”, “pass”, no, no, yes, yes, “who cares”, no, yes. Piece it together and win a prize! (You’ll get the prize, once you can guess what it is! hint: it’s nothing!)
  • STEINZ! Owned! Burn! [expletive regarding Sam Smith!] And aww.. Dan loses the fedora.. I quite liked it (…*voodoo mind trick: send it to me…*) oh, and I cannot wait for BogTV with the ever luminous co-host Jamie Mottram, take that Magic Hour! Update: Interview With A BOGpire (horrible..horrible joke..)
  • Oh yea, I guess I should talk about trades… umm.. yea.. let’s see.. it’s 11:30am now.. and nothing’s happening… crap. I might as well offer my couch to the Clippers to see if I can acquire Maggette myself and start my own franchise. So anyway, nothing’s happening and I’ll be out til after the deadline this afternoon.. pssh NBA, so inconsiderate of MY life schedules..

To conclude, here’s Sheriff Dangle and the gang at a Sixers game… ehh, wun’t their best effort, but I still loves me my Reno 911

EDIT: Many never-ending thanks to Gilbertology for being all over this:

The Getty Images photographer Brent Stirton should have his salary increased just for this! Speaking of which, yo Getty! Hook up those piks w/o them watermarks son! How about it? (I’ll even pay you with my empty ink catridges!)

anyways, this wonderful saga continues… (and no, I will never ever evver be tired of this.. if you are.. apologies.. but c’mon! it’s still cool as ever! join my fun times!)

Eric: Yo Mikey, what are we going to do about Ari? He
hasn’t answered our calls and we still need to give him
shit about not getting you into the All-Star game last weekend.

Michael Redd: Don’t worry about E, something tells me everything’s gonna work out, you’ll see. You just need to chill

Eric: C’mon man, we’ve been chilling for months! We play the Pistons tonight and we don’t have a plan.

Redd: Dude…shhhhh! Your negativitism is totally crampin
my style. Check—I’ma go and walk around town and you can fix things with Ari, sound good?

Eric: *sigh* Just promise me you’ll stay outta trouble..
last time the press had a field day when they saw you with Alyssa Milano.

Redd: Relax E, she’s old news!

[Scene change to the tune of the latest hip-hop record, whatever that is… INTERIOR: Ari’s office]

Ari: What do you want Eric? I’m a very busy man, every minute spent with you is a minute I could be spending with my wife, and not the Walt Disney version if you catch my drift.

Eric: Like you even remember who your wife is. The reason why I’m here is a that Mike is feeling a bit undersold with you reppin him.

Ari: Reddy think that, or are you thinking that?

Eric: Whatever, both. Point is, we want changes—didn’t you see Dwight Howard’s coming out party? Dude’s electrifying new folks, that’s what WE’re supposed be doing man

Ari: Look, let me put this is terms you can understand: Your pizza can be the best pizza in all of Milwaukee, but your friggin restaurant stinks like a hobo and a boar just had sex… I can’t do anything about that!

Eric: So you’re not helping us

Ari: No, I’m saying things take time. In the meanwhile, get me Lloyd, he was supposed to get my lunch a half hour ago. LLOYD!

Llyod: What it is Ari? Don’t scream, you’re still recovering from your cold. Oh hello Eric!

Ari: If I wanted ancient Japanese medical advice, I’ll ask ya then k?

Llyod: For the last time, I’m Chinese.

[Scene change to another rap song.. EXTERIOR: Santa Monica Boul.]

Turtle: Eeyo Mike! Come down here yo, you won’t believe this: there’s mad hot chickz waiting in line to see an autograph signing for Carlos Delfino! What a spazz!

Redd: Delfino? What? They can’t be serious, when they’ve got ME? Yo where you at Turtle, I’m coming right down.

Turtle: Santa Monica, hurry bro, me and Drama will hold things down for you.

Redd: I’m so gonna embarass him here AND drop 50 on him tonight! Holla (click)

Drama: Why can’t the girls be crowded over me for once? I can ball. In fact, I DID ball in school.

Turtle: Ha, yeah, in pre-school. You can’t even score over a 10 year old no more.

Drama: Hey, kids today, jacked up with all sorts of drugs, you never know how they’re cheating. Me, I’ll all natural baby.

Turtle: Naturally handicapped! Ha

[Slo-mo shot of Redd walking to the scene—all the autograph seekers now notice him coming, and hysteria ensues as they run towards him leaving a dejected Carlos Defino]

Redd: What up ladies! Part-ay at the mansion! Wooo! (hi-fives Turtle, Drama and Donald Duck)

(as the giant crowd exits, leaving Defino..)

Carlos Delfino: MICHAaaaaaaaaeeel!!! You Bastard!! I’ll get mine, don’t worry, I’LL.GET.MINE!


Previously on Previously Series:
The Office – guest starring Yao
24 – guest starring Gilbert Arenas
Jeopardy – (no NBA players were present, but Ken Jennings is high most of the time)

Okay, so I’m still a bit hungover “tired” after losing the drinking bet to what some might call my friends and that makes critically analysing the All-Star Game pretty much non-existent for today’s post (or any other post for that matter). Oh, and “critically analysing the ASG?” haha, that’s gotta be an oxymoron right??

So instead of talking about Kobe Bryant’s multiple reverse jams looking like straight replays; instead of talking about how somewhat meta it was during those couple of Amare v. Dwight Howard lowpost battles; instead of focusing on Shaq’s perpetual loveability (smacked one on T-Mac AND brought out the HotSauce dribbling—which, Memo playing hardcore defense was priceless); instead of talking about how LeBron totally mistimed his off-the-glass dunk that ended terribly (haha making it up with an air ball three); instead of conceding that Vince Carter IS a staple for All Star Games every single year because seriously, he’s the best in the game at electrifying the crowd; instead of talking about the lame crowd not getting into the game; and finally, instead of trying to describe that smile I had when Gil did the trampoline dunk… I give thee… pretty lady pictures, Toni Braxton and of course, Chappelle (sitting next to PRINCE??? bwahahah where’s Kevin Smith??):

(side note… I’m not the “hippest” guy right.. I mean, I try to follow what’s going on with da kidz.. but Toni Braxton? Was this 1995? But still, wow)

Yo Seth, is she starting over David Lee? If so, I’ll be VERY angry (and happy at the same time—I’ve got issues).

Okay, that one symbolizes the Women’s Suffrage of the 1880s and how we need to continue and support women’s rights

I’m still looking for The Waiter’s solo dance number!

Dave! No! Don’t battle Prince again!!

新年快樂! Y’all

Yeah, around here is mainly basketball content, but just today, I felt like spreading the tiniest of culture for the rest of the blog world (even though I’m pretty much as non-cultured as one goes…)

So when you’re watching the All-Star game tonight, remember what it truly means, in the Chinese culture okay? But don’t just do it for me, do it for….David Stern’s plight for an NBA franchise in China.. *snif*

Oh and it’s the Year of the Pig, so I expect a Bacon shirt in the mail Wizznutzz!!

I’ll try not to get too drunk off rice beer by the 11:42min mark of the 1st quarter tonight…

Lightning Quick Thoughts on Last Night’s “events”:
— I so called Barkley winning.. I can’t cite it right now, but I swear I called it (it was around the same time I saw a pixie riding a unicorn!) but it was PRICLESS! and a KISS! Tim Hardaway better have not watched this!!
— Number of Eva Longoria name drop from Kevin Harlan and/or camera shot = my count was at 94 trillion (give or take 3..)
— Dunkfest: By far the the most creative we’ve seen in the past few years. These kids have imagination! I was pleased. But can’t believe they gipped Dwight Howard on his Sticker Dunk—what was crazy on so many levels and one of which is that it was fucking hilarious (and I love jokes!), I’m so sure he had a ton more flip-da-script type creativitisms..ah well… because… GERALD GREEN–insane, why can’t his nickname be ‘grasshoper’. C’mon, “green” eh? eh?? ah.
— For those keeping score at home, I’m 3 for 6 so far with All Star festivity predictions… that was useless info

What did you think about last night’s stuff? (as well as overall, and about Britney’s topping the latest A-train to coo-coo town of things that happen in a 1 and half week span? oh and elections of ’08?)

ps: HypeShirts are getting serious pub (thanks again Steinz! I’m not kidding about adding you to the tags, look up! hehe), check out the Updates here, thanks again guys! From it’s humble beginnings, I think this has become something totally awesome in ways that my nimble brain cannot ever truly comprehend

Prediction for All Star Game 07:

(You can subscribe to the rss.gif NBA Toons Feed here)

Okay, so I might’ve been a “little” off on my predictions last night. Uh..yeah, those were..’joke’ predictions..yeaah (good save!). Watching the celebrity game though, I fear that Tony Potts… of Access effin Hollywood is a better baller than me… that.. makes.. me.. so, so sad. Especially when he seems to be in slightly better shape than LT and Reggie Bush (and ooh man, that was a scary, in a totally “goddamn we saw this coming” type of way—thus, a little funny)

Predictions4Tonite! – Gerald Green Dunk-fu Master; JET sinks 7 in a row to win 3pt thingy; Mad Skilz goes to Wade because he’s fast, but dunno about them chest passes; and finally I’m going with team Houston.

Two things:

Getty Images Caption Folks are drunk and high

and here’s the second, and majorly more important:

I uh.. I.. um.. what.. was I…..I suddenly don’t remember my name..

Insider Marc Stein reported that Young Thunder Dwight Howard was planning on doing something, that’s well, insane-tastic:

Orlando sources report that Howard has been practicing a couple wicked maneuvers that might inject this dying competition with the ingenuity/originality it desperately needs. One is a 360 throwdown with the rim hiked to 12 feet, two feet higher than regulation. The other sets the rim at 11 1/2 feet and has Howard purportedly going between his legs with the ball in mid-air before flushing.

(I don’t have Insider myself, cuz besides spending my precious little cash on 80s jukeboxes, I’m a proud “Outsider”.)

Anyway, blah blah league is stupid, David Stern unbelievably pimp-smacks his fans again blah blah. What the article didn’t tell you though, was that Howard has a couple of fail safe backup dunks, checkz ’em out:

Caption: (Above) Giraffe says “on no!” Dwight says “oh yes! suck on that bitch!”

(Left) ooooh SNAP, it’s the C-141B Starlifter dunk son!


Celeb All Star game: Lame, but I’m picking da East. They have Donald Faison! Chocolate Bear!

Rookie Challenge: Lamer, but I’m calling ROOKS! And I’m calling an Il Mago (Andrea Bargnani) monster flush on Bogut!