Carnival of the NBA #42: The Late Nite Infomercial Edition

Hi, Chef Tony here. Are you tired of ovens that only give you half the NBA Blog Posts? Are sick to your stomach knowing your kitchen knives aren’t as sharp with their Home/Away Win % analysis? Well boy are you in for a treat today. Have your credit cards ready because you’re about to be…

Welcome everybody to today’s 42nd Carnival of the NBA, or Forty-Deuce as the kidz say, where we feature The Lean Cook Grill/Drill/Knife Machine NBA blog posts around the hoops blogopherum from the past couple of weeks. Here joining Chef Tony is NBA Basketball and Other Unrelatedness’ own: The Hype!

ChefTony: So, do you want to see something special?
TheHype: Gee golly, do I!
CT: Let me ask you something: don’t you wish your Scoops can deliver more NBA commentary? Deliver more–what we in the industry call, “oomf”?
TH: HELL YEAH! I dream about it every.single.night!
CT: Well everyone tuning in is in luck, take out that extra mortgage because today we unveil the Scooper-9000! Show ’em just how much OOMF! this handy tool gives them!
TH: You got it big T.!

With just a press of a hidden button, the Scooper-9000 will instantly spark group discussions:

—The suave Pradamaster over at BulletsForever decided that fellow team bloggers should be analysts the only way they know how: by aggressively typing it out in an e-Roundtable discussion

not enough? here’s ClipsNation fantasizing what’d it be like to be in David Stern’s pants.. uh.. ‘wearing’ his pants.. (stop saying pants!)

—What’s that? There should be even more discussions? Sure thing boss: Ryan from HoopsAddict.com and Natalie from Need4Sheed chatted with D.V. about (DOTCOM) current NBA issues

But wait! there’s more! the Scooper takes things to the NEXT Level:

—Speaking of N4S, in an effort to make the universe implode, they’re joined by Deeeeeee-Troit-BAD-BOYS to have their respective fanbases meet up at a Pistons game next month (I hear a dance-off with glow sticks is involved)

—then again, for Golden State of Mind, isn’t that like, a typical Tuesday for their Bay Area Army, The B.A.A.?

—over at The Nugg Doctor, Nick the Doc is slowly becoming.. one of them.. by going to his first Nuggets practice session. And we’re all looking forward to seeing him excel because we seriously need to know just how round George Karl is (okay, I want to know..)

DC Sports Bog: When not keeping us on tap about Mister50 and theWizz (or HAVING A BabeeSteinz-Bog! Congrats! I’m sure it’s the best baby of them all!), Steinz is going to star on his own actual TV show and featuring local bloggers! (um.. I’m considered ‘local’ right..? D.C. .. Montreal.. same thing..?) and Mister Irrelevent is also joining, possibly to usurp and dethrone The Bog.. but that’s just me speculating and causing unnecessary reckus

—the best just got bester: FreeDarko and the addition of Chauney Billups, it’s a wrap! (rap?)

TrueHoop upgraded bandwidth.. or something.. not too sure, but I’m guessin it’s something minor like that…

Order now, and you’ll get a complementary nail clipper worth exactly $3.00!

—but we’ll need more than 3 dollars to repair a devastating injury: contributor Jeff over at ClipperBlog goes over some medical intricacies to better understand what Shaun Livingston went through

—hoops historian Nate Jones wrote an incredible entry in response to all the negative backlash of the ASG from the media, a must read

—when not coining the nickname Mittens for a certain center, Your New York Knicks uncovers the opponents’ secretive double lives

—speaking of Curry, Basketbawful believes he is already better than Shaq

—…but EotB’s Chris Clarke (slick head shot!) warns us of the Ides of March aka Shaq’s ability to turn “it” up

—before turning anything else up though, Crazy from the Heat fills us in on the entire Heat and their crrruauuzy White House adventures (note: not at all crazy, I was blatantly embelishing)

Red’s Army explains why we must stop buying things that aren’t working

—on the other than, some things are working out says LOY’s Place

—season’s end is closing, so 3manlift gives their MVP look (interesting choice!) but Bright Side of the Sun counters with their pick

—the other great PHX Suns blog, The Rising Suns, is impressed with how Amare of old is eerily back

CelticsBlog looks at what’s really going on with rumours. Yea, that’s an extra U in there, what? (RIP DJ)

—I’m sure you were dying for a Suck-o-Meter, well you’re in luck, Hooplah Nation uses the handy measuring tool for one Jason Collins!

Bobcats Bonfire, not really feeling the need of having all UNC all the time… just any quality players from anywhere is fine with them

—1 half of BlazerBlog is well, very very happy to get Freddy Jones, citing collegiate hilites and some lowlites (so that Missy song was about Fred). The other half looks at how shedding J-Dix was the way to go (also citing U of O ties—blood brothers 4 lifez!)

—on the flip side Arsenalist is completely fine kicking Fred out, oh and happy that Rasho actually plays: “We all know Rasho is soft as a spring pansy and anytime he comes up with a manly game like this, I wonder why he can’t do this more often.” teehee!

—the v2.0 IndyCornrow offers up key deficiencies in a loss that maybe having an un-retired Reggie Miller would help (not if he’s a little busy…)

—the Association: senior citizens dancers are the schnits!

iheartkg received a letter from McHale. Sadly, it wasn’t a letter of resignation.

—don’t you DARE say the words “small” or “ball” or just anything really, regarding Chris Duhon over at Blog-a-Bull

Hornets247 connects the dots: Tyson Chandler is to Scott Skiles as JR Smith is to Bryon Scott.

—an understandably down TZiller of SacTownRoyalty tells Ron Artest: “this marriage is over” (translation: I’m not cheering for you); “I’m keeping the kids“; (you better get us a good trade) and “you suck (okay, I added that one, but he’s still a crazy mofo) Side note: I oddly want to scream ZiiiiiiLLLEER! like I’m in a Bond movie ….. sorry, inappropriate.. moving on..

—the Mavericks are the best team right now, but Mavs Moneyball reveals that their media dept is also the funniest (unfair!)

—being Sonics fans has been up and down (mostly down), but SupersonicsSoul found a little joy that Jesus Shuttlesworth is playing to lift spirits (and gravity)

Pounding the Rock goes over Hollinger’s thoughts about the Spurs’ potential playoff success. Oh snap!

Scooper-9000 also provides all the Las Vegas Wayne Newton 24/7 Show All Star Weekend Festivities blog posts:

FanHaus: Brett Edwards’ Embedded Frontline Reporting and a brave recording with the BBJoneszzz

SLAMonline: Monolith of a recap (we’re talking Zhou Dynasty long here) by one S.Rubenstein and his band of misfits that were all up in the mutha as well

—TrueHoop, again, (or TruESPN as YAY! would say) was also there to TrueASG in all its TrueVegas TrueGlory.

WithLeather: Oh Sarah Spain, you and your “adventures” (CALL ME!)

BenchRenaldo alerted the police about a very despicable crime (he alerts the fashion police as well!)

—and Joey throws the events into perspective over at StraightBangin’

Finally, the 9000 is able to have all the angles covered, all 361° of it:

—very cool game day outing over at Weekends With Dad

SportsBizBlog wonders where a certain Jewish baller has gone (wait, I thought UM was Jewish Jordan!)

darvindarvindarvindarvinHAM. Darvin HAM!

—HoopsAddict mashes up cultures with a by tag-teaming the WWE; tells us that Oden and Durant are actually two different guys (huuhh) and gives us a review of “The Last Shot

MJD has the definitive coverage of that guy who said that stupid thing on that radio show a while ago

—finally, quickie look over at DailyBasketball getting a nice revamp (who also writes over at Utah Jazz Blog)

FINALLY finally, if you liked the blogs above, you seriously need to signup for BALLHYPE DOT COM, I’m telling you (well, Jason’s telling you too) this thing will OWN.

Thanks for tuning in Scooper-aficionados! Reps are standing/sitting by waiting for you to call… So remember folks, you gotta be:

Iceland readers: we’ll throw in this amazing CD, for free, only for you!

*we won’t actually give this for free, in fact, we’ll bill you another $600, you got hustled suckas! ps: no monkeys were harmed in the production of this informercial

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  1. Very nice carnival. All the posts I’ve checked are great, can’t wait to read some more.

  2. SG

    Awesome! Very nicely done.

  3. Abe f’n Lincoln–well done.

  4. Thanks guys.. I think I’ll put my “link”/”bold” buttons on some ice now

  5. Stan Van Gundy= Chef Tony of the NBA?

    Well done, homie.

  6. By the end of it, I could hear the live studio audience chanting “Scooped for Hoops!” And I practically said it aloud with them… Great stuff!

  7. Jason Collin’s ancestor must be turning in their graves

    nice one howie

  8. Awesome job, Hype. Thanks for shouldering the load this time around with the NBA Carnival!

    Nick The Nugg Doctor

  9. wow….if this thing comes in an olive green color i’m so getting one.

  10. the olive green version is coming out as a combo package with the iPhone.. starting price $9038 jibillion

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