Thursday Thumbtacks: Dude, Wake Up, It’s The Playoffs!

… and stop smoking that damn bong! While you slowly arise from the stupor, please, watch the following 9 minutes of bliss:

That’s to get all your casual NBA buddies to get the fuck up and watch some bball and get them away from that NHL nonsense (a puck? and a stick?! what is this, Soviet Russia??)

Finally, playoffs are (is?) here. Round 1 Predictions are as follows:


Detroit V. Orlando: Rock City in 4
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—Rasheed will probably devour Jameer Nelson, like, literally EAT him

Cleveland V. Washington: Cavs in 4
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—Dan Steinz will sub in for Jarvis Hayes and hit the game winning 3 … in our dreams…

Toronto V. New Jersey: Dinos in 6
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—TJ Ford, one moment dribbling the ball up court, the next, disappears into Mikki Moore’s hair

Miami V. Chicago: UPSET!! Heat in 6
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—Scott Skiles and Antoine Walker make out. Like, madly kissing and shit.


Dallas V. Golden State: Mavs in 4
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—A collective “huh?” is heard when Austin Croshere checks in.

Phoenix V. Los Angeles: Suns in 5
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—Phil Jackson, in a timeout, reaches Zen Level 9000 and immediately singlehandely win a game. Making Kobe go “pshhh, did that Tuesday son”

San Antonio V. Denver: Spurs inOH SHIT JOEY CRAWFORD! It’s Joey muthafuckin Crawford!! And he has a steel chair ladies and gentlemen! Oh my god, all hell has broke loose!! Tim Duncan DID.NOT.SEE.THAT.COMING. WRESTLEMANIA 50!!!!

Utah V. Houston: Rockets finally win, in 6
WHAT WILL HAPPEN—Carlos Boozer’s head versus Shane Battier’s head… we all lose.


  1. Reese

    Heart still beating fast after that footage, was better than my last sexual encounter.

  2. Steve

    LOVE IT! If only this shit could really happen, then i would be more excited too. Especially the Crawford-Duncan showdown!

  3. @ Reese: Best. Comment. Ever. 😀

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