Billy Donovan Is Funny
Run! Billy, Run!
The Unrelatedness has an exclusively fake interview with Billy Donovan, the ex-Gator coach turned ex-Magic coach within 48 hours. Here be the interview booty, ARRRr:
THE HYPE: So, B-Don, what happened. What made you change your mind?
BILLY DONOVAN: Momma always said, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
TH: Um… okay. But the Orlando Magic did know what they were going to get. YOU. They were going to get you as a coach! What are you talking about?
BD: Stupid is as stupid does.
TH: Woah, I didn’t call you stupid sir, I respect your work tremendously. Just that this whole Magic thing was weird y’know? Any thing else you can shed light on?
BD: That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run…
TH: To clear your head I’d imagine?
BD: …So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town…
TH: Figuratively speaking I’d assuming? And “end of town” is the metaphor of leaving the Magic organization and back to the Florida Gators?
BD: …And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean…
TH: uh, um…
BD: …And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going. When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go… you know… I went.
TH: … ooookay… I think that about wraps up this interview. Thanks Bil—
BD: Have you ever been on a shrimp boat?
TH: OH COME ON! That’s not even your line!