Miss Gossip Storytime: Boris Diaw Stalking Mission

Hola! I’m Miss Gossip. You may remember me from such classic Hype cameos as “Holy shit type of cool right there” and “You better delete all of this” or from the now-defunct blog SunsGossip or the still-funct blog NBA FanHouse. Anyways, I got a collect call from your regular guy TheHype and he was all “duuude I’m on vacation, can you fill in for me on the glob?” and I’m like “naw man, go somewhere else for your crazy because I’m all out of stock here,” and then he’s all “DAMMIT WOMAN THIS IS MY ONLY PHONE CALL!!!”

Hype in drunk tank

So here I am. Gossip storytime YAY!!!!

Ok, so last night I’m at the Phoenix Mercury game watching my gals get beat up by the Minnesota Timbercats and who pops up on the jumbotron but the one and only BORIS DIAW!! That’s Boris Diaw of Boom Boom T-shirt and Free Boom Boom TNT fame!!

Diaw jumbotron
Every breath you take… every move you make…

Holy wow. If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written you know that this was a big deal. I can’t even explain my reaction to seeing him, but it went something like this:

gossip time series
Borissssssssss!!!!!!

How cute that he was coming to a see his home WNBA team play? And not just to eyeball Ann Strother like last year (she got traded to the Indiana Fevers). Kind of makes up for some of his misogynistic tendencies.

Anyway, I quickly spotted him courtside (how did I miss him before???). He was sitting with two white girls and a rather large gentleman who appeared to be a bodyguard.

Boris and his bodyguard

For real, Blood? A bodyguard? I mean, I guess you never know who you’ll end up tangling with at a WNBA game on a Tuesday night. But hey, mad props for rolling with two women at once.

Of course, I was determined to talk to him … again … (first time went like this, second time like this). Well, in the fourth quarter the Mercury do this thing called the Mercury Train where they let all the little kids storm the court during a timeout. I figured if I got on the court with the kids, then I could just run over to Boris courtside and say whassup.

The timeout came and I got all set to hatch my crack plan… BUT I was sitting in a lux box, so I would have had to walk all the way around the suite level to get to the stairs to get down to the court. There was no way I would make it in time…… UNLESS…… I looked over the edge of the box and no one was sitting in the seats below… so…… I figured I would just JUMP OUT OF THE BOX.

It wasn’t that far down, I knew I could do it……

But alas, I was sitting with some attorneys from my firm so I was forced to play it cool. BOOOOOO. Oh well, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten nabbed by arena security anyway.

By the way, Charles Barkley was also sitting courtside, all by his lonesome. I can’t believe I didn’t get to talk to Boom Boom OR the Chuckster. WACK.

Barkley at the clubbbb

Oops, totally wrong picture of Sir Charles.

Stalking Mission #3: FAILED.

Oh well, thanks for reading Miss Gossip Storytime, kids! Wow, I was totally buzzed at the beginning of this post. My bad.

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  1. Holy bananas that was epic, Miss Gossip rawk0rz! And what IS with Boom Boom and his lust from WNBA games eh? My guess is he’s trying out for the team… D’Antoni wants Diaw to “prove” himself first…
    Oh, and I saw Paris in the clink… she’s already got a crew. They’re called Hilton’s Ho-Town…

  2. Limpshiznit

    Naw man I heard her crew beat up some chicks and they roll as Hilton’s HOElacaust. WESSSSSSSIIIDDDEEEEEEEEE.

  3. Boris is the one to the left of the girls, right? His bodyguard doesn’t look that big …

  4. Miss Gossip

    you had to see him standing up to get the full effect…

  5. SG

    Next time, just say, “excuse me, I’ll be right back” and I bet the attorneys wouldn’t mind if you’d jumped out of the box. Please tell me you’ll at least consider it if the opportunity again arises.

  6. aniche

    ur quite the narrator!! good one 🙂
    check out my blog for daily humor columns

  7. Scotty

    If you’re truly stalking Boris Diaw; he was at the Spurs/Cavs game last night hanging with Tony Parker’s youngest brother Pierre.

  8. Woah Scotty, once you start throwing random French guys’ names around, Miss Gossip’s gonna be all over the map!

  9. Lovely78

    sunsgossip, you rock!! i love your stories.

    never give up- especially when it comes to that fine Frenchmen…. you’re our only hope!

    see ya at tp3.net…..

  10. Lovely78

    TheHype…

    Boris’ mom was one of the greatest french basketball players of all time, so he’s naturally respectful of the women’s game.

  11. kevin

    heyy, iam the guy sittign near boris on the big screen!!!
    The large guy is not the bodyguard, it’s one of his french friends!!! As the both girl, and the guy in grey is his brother!!!
    It was funny to see me face on your web site!!
    have a good day!

  12. elisa

    Boris Diaw is HOT. hes mine 2 keep!!! im gonna marry him some day. he told me he loved me last nite! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!! he is good in bad. im bearing his child!

  13. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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