A Look At The Signings So Far

You need to know who’s going where for how much $$? Well, go look up it guy, I’m not your mom. Oh wait, um, sorry! Please come back! I’m cranky because I didn’t have my morning cookie. Alright, alllright… I’m better now. So, here is the exhaustive comprehensive list of all thing Free Agency signage:



Chauncey Billups: $60 Mil, 5 years
First thing to purchase: 500 iPhones, one for each of his contacts







Rashard Lewis: $4274580223147 Mil, ∞ years
First thing to purchase: Canada










Gerald Wallace: $57 Mil, 6 years
First thing to purchase: Bethlehem Shoals‘ apartment






Jason Kapono: $24 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: more hair gel








Cookie Monster: 10 000 Cookies Carrots, 10 years
First thing to purchase: the hell? you can’t buy shit with carrots, what a dumbass… carrots…








Michael Moore: $40 Mil, 2 years
First thing to purchase: a life size doll of Dr. Sanjay Gupta and burn it








Vince Carter: $61 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: a new cooter



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  1. Mo Williams is going to buy 65 tons of bratwurst.

  2. [homer simpson] mmm bratwurst…… aaaaaaaarhh [/homer simpson]

  3. KD

    I’m going to eat two of them right now. (seriously)

    With club sauce. (not seriously)

  4. username486

    What?

  5. jeff

    Yup, cookie monster is pimping healthy foods now… sad.

  6. cuzoogle

    brilliant stuff

    I hope Lewis does not try to buy us.




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