Big Baby, Meet Big Baby

By the Great Drums of Dave Grohl, this is one ugly baby.

The size of the baby – around 4ft 3in tall and weighing 110lb – suggests she was between six months old and a year when she died. There are no clues about the cause of death, although there were signs she had been involved in a skirmish with a predator or another mammoth.

‘The mammoth had no defects, except that its tail was bitten off,’ said Alexi Tikhonov, of the Zoological Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences, who helped carry out a preliminary examination of the creature.

‘In terms of its state of preservation, this is the world’s most valuable discovery.’

You know what else is this world’s most valuable discovery? You mom. BURN! Okay, that was fucking stupid. But I was just somewhat enthralled with recent stories of big guys and the NBA that I had to make the worst connect-the-dots type thing with a 10, 000 year old mammal.

Emerging DNA technologies have already allowed some scientists to consider resurrecting the mammoth. (Read about the resurrection debate.)

No word on whether scientists are considering resurrecting the other mammoths: Shawn Kemp, Eddie Curry, Tractor Traylor, Shaq and Antoine Walker.


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