Woah, Kevin Garnett ISN’T a Timberwolf Anymore?

The biggest question first: But What About Mark Madsen? Who is he going to turn to when he’s out there screaming by his lonesome?? Oh sigh.

And yeah, pretty big news… only like… 4 years in the making. Kevin Garnett is going to be a Celtic.

The trade is for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff, a giant sandwich, three juice boxes, nine boxes of Juicy Fruit a No. 1 pick.

On the one hand, KG not in the dreary old Minnesota uniform is a welcoming sight. It’s also good to see him able to take a leap of faith in a new direction. However, on the other hand… meh… it’s the Celtics. They just traded away their entire bench (and possibly 3/4 Red Auerbach’s cigar collection) for millions and millions of dolla $igns.

Oh I’ll be watching, hopefully — Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Garnett is bananas, but let’s be real for 2 seconds: they are not going to win a championship. Sorry Bostonians, not like this.

  1. Capri Sun > juice boxes

  2. That’s the truth g.h., but I still loves me my Sunny Delight!

    (You’re mom’s cool!)

  3. firedannyainge

    Glad someone outside of Boston see’s this team will not win a title.

    The Celtics now have 3 guys over 30 all making 20 million plus a year for the next 3 years. Luxery tax hell and Wyc Grousbeck deserves every freaking bad penny.

    God I wish I was a fan of any other team then this %%%%


    (not my site)


  4. firedannyainge

    Minny now has almost the entire Celtics team from 2004.lol

    Is Kevin Mchale really this stupid?

  5. Trezier


    You obviously don’t realize we have an infinitely more “token white guy” on our BOS squad in Scalabrine. Consider the following…

    1) He is a ginger. That fiery red hair equates to pure sucktatude in athletics.
    2) He makes far more money than he should (which is minimum wage at McD’s).
    3) He is a fatbody, with milky white, heaving man breasts.
    4) He is praised for “doing the little things.” I have been a season ticket holder for a few years and have yet to see him do any of the “little things” that justify his pay, or him taking minutes away from other players (or the guy who cleans toilets at the Garden for that matter.)
    5) During warm ups, he is used as the “guy standing in front of somebody while they shoot.” You know, that spot a distant assistant of the assistant of the assistant coach should occupy… holding a broomstick in the air to simulate a defender “affecting the shot.”
    6) He is universally detested by us all, but we cheer uncontrollably for him when he in fact, does something on the floor.

    It doesn’t get any more token than that. Plus, Scal is a “good locker room guy.” So apparently he makes a great cup of joe and can listen to all that ails our fine players. And he cheers and yells with the best of them when our team does well. Yet he gives the best sympathetic “next time kiddo” pats on the back when we fail.

    So all I have to say is… Maddog who? Veal is where its at and KG knows this. That is the ONLY reason for his willingness to be traded to BOS. Thanks to Scal, we now have KG… and we are now scary as hell. Finally my season tickets wont be used merely to get very drunk and berate crappy players and hooker dancers. Finally some winning!

  6. man, Michael Rappaport is the TRUTH!

    ps Trezier: COMMENT OF THE YEAR (seriously, you have a blog? if not start one immedz!)

  7. Trezier

    On a realistic side note, it’s hard to predict where my beloved Celtics will go from here. Assuming these three go as bananas as they have in the past, we will be one of the scariest teams to face, period.

    I don’t care what anyone says, their three playing styles are entirely complimentary. Inside, outside, and slash. They each help open the others game and make it a bit easier. And say goodbye to the “feed PP the ball, and sit by to watch him drive in and sacrifice his body to the Gods” team playing style we have grown to hate from the Celtics. Now Paul can single his man out and abuse him, not to mention work around picks for mid ranges or first steps (I always picture PP playing a rich mans Rip Hamilton role. A midrange god that can absolutely kill his man one on one if need be).

    KG can do what he does best, work the high and low posts to varying degrees. He can raise his skelator arm high in the air for a dunk, or crane that repulsive bird like neck back for an over the top jumper. Eventually he’ll demand a double, and when that occurs he can actually showcase a part of his game few give him credit for.. his passing. But only this time, he’ll be kicking it out to guys who can put it in the hole, instead of bums like Maddog and Hudson, who could easily be replaced by Grant Hills ankle remains and nobody would know the difference.

    And I picture Ray Allen as the consummate professional. He’s going to come in and play his game off the other two. He’s going to be the Toni Kukoc of the Celtics. That third scoring option you don’t dare sag off of, but inevitably have to… and then he makes you pay by shooting more threes than Peter North does wad shots. I think Ray will sacrifice the most of the three to benefit the over all system.

    And sure, while the bench is much weaker than we’d want, I don’t think guys like Powe (who absolutely destroyed the entire summer league, including Oden), Big Baby Davis (who WILL play his ass of because he was “insulted” by dropping to the second round), Tony Allen (who has showed flashes of brilliance on multiple years), and Scal (who is a complete loser and should be the asshole manager at a fast food establishment, but I put on this list because his heckler given nickname is Veal) are getting as much credit as they should. Hustle, clean-up-the-garbage type of guys.

    I also think this new look of the Celtics will draw infinitely more attention from FA’s than it otherwise would have. There should be a few guys who’ll be happy to drop the price tag they are asking for a chance to play with a contender. (All the washed up Vets are doing it now… it’s trendy. Just ask Malone, Payton, Grant Hill, etc, etc, etc.) So while there are significant holes, they can be filled just well enough to not sink the ship so to speak.

    Let us be honest… when has there been three players of this caliber on the same team? Hint- It was the eighties, and they were located in Boston. We don’t have Jesus with a bad stache (Bird), but I think we are damn close enough to go with it. We just have to hope for a couple of good pick ups, and no significant injuries. If an injury(s) happens… expect the shit to hit the fan in Boston, followed closely by Mr. Ainges’ testicles.

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