Archive for the ‘NBA Draft’ Category

Ughhh.. Hungover-ness… here be she Drunk-Live-Blog (tons of shit gutted out and edited for ease to read… and all around health issues)

Once again with the lovely Miss G bringing the funny and Hype G bringing the.. well, something… sorry for the lack of formatting like last time… was… a… little… busy… doing… “things”

7:44 PM Miss Gossip: DAMMIT

missed the #1

TheHype: don’t worry, NOTHING HAPPENED

7:46 PM TheHype: “he has a crush on Beyonce”

Miss Gossip: awwwwwwww

statutory rape

TheHype: B? or Jay-Z?

7:47 PM Miss Gossip: ewww what???

Miss Gossip: who’s going for ATL?

TheHype: Yi

my Chinese ancestors are calling it

Miss Gossip: love Horford’s dad. shout out to all my Dominicans!

7:51 PM TheHype: whoop whoop

7:52 PM Miss Gossip: oh man

too fast

time to pour a drink

what you drinking on?

7:53 PM TheHype: JD and coke

Miss Gossip: NICE

TheHype: what’s your juice?

7:54 PM Miss Gossip: red wine

TheHype: everytime I hear Andy Katz’ name I think of giant cat…

7:59 PM

Miss Gossip: for real

so what do we think, Bucks take the Yiiiii?

8:00 PM TheHype: Milwaukee… their center is an Aussie, their PF is hairless … seems apropos their rookie should be AZN

Miss Gossip: Yi is looking a little tense….

8:01 PM I feel you man, I wouldn’t want to go the Milwaukee either

8:02 PM p.s. his media day photo was by far the best

I may have my new rookie crush

depending on how he plays it when he gets picked

8:03 PM oh crap

here it comes

TheHype: eeeeee

Miss Gossip: don’t do it.

FREE YI!!!

TheHype: BOOM

8:04 PM Miss Gossip: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

he looks hecka pissed

TheHype: Only because the govt already activated the internal poison

8:05 PM TheHype: they are NOT pleased

Miss Gossip: He’s going to get mysteriously injured

now do we really think his name is pronounced EEEEEEE like Stern said?

TheHype: Gongdong whoop whoop!

8:06 PM Stern is drunk

8:07 PM Andy Katz reporter extrodinaire, MEOW!

Miss Gossip: …..picture?

ooooh EEEE talks!

ask that fool how he really says his name

8:08 PM TheHype: his chinglish is slick

8:13 PM TheHype: My Corey Brewer nickname; BrewBear

Miss Gossip: awwwwwwwww

8:17 PM Miss Gossip: I can’t stand Miss Snaggly Tooth

TheHype: Ms Rachel Nichols needs some beauty sleep

Miss Gossip: what’s her name

Rachel

yeah

8:25 PM NOAH

Miss Gossip: OH MY WORD

this is the moment I’ve been waiting for

YES

Miss Gossip: bowtie

8:26 PM

Miss Gossip: Oh shit

Miss Gossip: after I finish making out with Brandan Wright

I’m gonna push up on that bowtie

oh baby doll

please

8:34 PM

TheHype: Acie Law THE FOURTH

8:39 PM Miss Gossip: Acie don’t look super-psyched

8:40 PM TheHype: Oh snap, I think I called Law2da4 in our FanHouse mock

Miss Gossip: you called him what?

8:41 PM TheHype: to go to A-Town

I’M SUPERIOR

8:43 PM you ARE superior.

I love you HypeGuy……

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

8:45 PM TheHype: gtalk-five!

Miss Gossip: dag fool

that’s all I get?

for LOVING you?

a gtalk-five?

8:46 PM L to the Lame!

TheHype: uh… uhh …[looks around]… you look.. pretty?

[runs]

Miss Gossip: kiss kiss

12th pick

TheHype: Thad Rad

8:47 PM Miss Gossip: naw

“Thad-Yo”

TheHype: hahha me likey

Miss Gossip: yes

yes

Thad-Yo needs to “tighten up his ball skills”

are you drunk enough to find that funny?

8:48 PM TheHype: ballz hee hee hee

yes, very drunketh

Miss Gossip: Just got a message from Enrico, our friend over at The 700 Level…

“Enrico: who is thadeus young?

word.

8:49 PM TheHype: pfft, he’s not on the Thad-Yo-Rad train

8:53 PM

Miss Gossip: Enrico at The 700 Level wants Philly to take Mike Nardi

9:40 PM who?

Mike Nardi?

don’t act like you don’t know the name

ain’t nothing changed but the change

TheHype: Mike who? Mike WHO? mike nardi

Miss Gossip: he will stay the same

TheHype: hahha

9:42 PM Miss Gossip: sorry Enrico

TheHype: Enrico’s gonna be at the 699 level now..

Miss Gossip: HA

9:43 PM no, he likes the trade

9:44 PM 701 Level

TheHype: go Enrico!


(photo: Batman Drunk Passed out by Doug Schwarz)

9:46 PM Miss Gossip: I am so drunk

what pick are we on?

I have no idea

what year is this

TheHype: 68th?

2014

Miss Gossip: HOLY SHIT

TheHype: on Mars

Miss Gossip: are you for real?

I really thought it was 2006

on Earth.

TheHype: you had 2 kids

they both ran away

and water is now poison

9:47 PM ok I’ll stop 🙂

Miss Gossip: THANK GOODNESS I AM DRINKING BEER THEN!!!!!!

(yes, the bottle of wine is done)

9:48 PM TheHype: I think the % of JD and coke is now 91% to 9%

I’ll let you decided which is which

and coke as in cocain

I AINT PLAYIN’ AROUND

10:03 PM Jazz selection? Someone white?

Miss Gossip: HA

10:05 PM cnot white

10:06 PM but he’s from Rice….?

10:07 PM TheHype: as in Condaleeza (sp????)

10:10 PM Miss Gossip: naw as in “white”

10:14 PM Miss Gossip: what’s the game?

drink every time we see Katz?

Miss Gossip: every time someone saus “eeee”?

TheHype: raaawr

10:15 PM Katz! Meow!

10:16 PM actually:

Miss Gossip: HA!!!!!!!!!!!

YES

that’s what I was thinking with the name “Katz”

but in my drunkennes

I couldn’t put my drunk finger on it

10:17 PM TheHype: yous so fudgin drunkfth

Miss Gossip: whaddafugyutalginabou?

10:32 PM TheHype: Dick Vitale BABY, shut up BABY!

10:33 PM seriously STFU

10:34 PM Miss Gossip: when Dick Vitale talks

I hear:

“sdfsdfssdfsdfsdfsdfsd”

“sdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsd”

“sdfsdgfsdsfdsfsdfsd”

TheHype: hahha

10:37 PM Miss Gossip: why is Stern laughing about this trade?

TheHype: i was thinking the same thing

10:38 PM he’s like “ke ke ke ke Pat Riley he he he he”

yo Pet is so happy

10:39 PM Miss Gossip: HAHAHAHAHAHA

this guy’s nickname

is going to be Pet-Ko!!!!!!!

TheHype: BWAHHAHHA

YES

10:39 PM

Miss Gossip: why does portland have mad picks this is like an NFL draft

10:46 PM TheHype: kevin pritchard… or it it richard pritchard? (wait… that doesn’t make sense…) is the devil

10:49 PM Miss Gossip: it’s kevin pritchard

richar pritchard… you’re thinking of Richard Pryer

TheHype: Pryor

we’re both drunk

10:49 PM Miss Gossip: ha

yes

ugh

I almost made it… so so close. Ah well.

OK, so I think I have to at least do something for the Draft around here to at least give myself a legit reputation that I do keep track of this thing called basketball.

Here’s what I think I will do around here today (as best that I can). I shall be updating here and there (re: maybe like, only 1 update) and do whatever to be all analytical and shit.

One thing I can promise for sure (90%!) is I’ll be definitely watching the Draft and via the tubes that is internet — another classic run down with Miss Gossip is very likely to cometh.

So, stay tuned and keep your eyes wide open for today’s awesometown. Oh, ps: TBJ’s back for a second, and there’s GOATSE involved… fun times…

hypedraftblog.jpg

Since we’re all waiting for Draft day to have something more to chatter about, here is today’s OSM: pics:


there’s nothing like a crotch shot of a possible #1 pick Kevin Durant, NOTHING


from the lovely Yahoo captions people I didn’t know Ye Li is white… and what is ‘teenage sweetheart’ anyways? is Ye still a teenager?? or… they went out since their were teenagers… yeah, that’s probably it… well, there goes my fun times…


Hey kid, get your hands off Blue Man’s blue balls!

So, I bet you haven’t heard of this feature where “expertised” folks gather around and play Fisher-Price GM by doing a Mock Draft? Well, lucky for you, I have TWO for ya! One I actually participated at the FanHouse and here’s is the other, courtesy of Ballhype’s Carnival of the NBA Group, with pretty much the best of the best of the best of the (ah you get the point) NBA bloggers all trapped in one place fighting for world domination bragging rights. Here’s how they predicted, there was a fist fight somewhere in there, but I, of course, saved the day.

1 Portland – Henry – http://myespn.go.com/nba/truehoop

Greg Oden, by a whisker. Kevin Durant will punish the Blazers for a decade at least for this pick. He’s a beautiful thing to watch, and if Portland ends up taking Durant, I’m THRILLED. But I just got this GM job and I want to keep it, and I have a feeling that with Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Greg Oden we’re going to be just fine.

2 Seattle – Chris – http://www.sonicscentral.com/blog/

Kevin Durant: The top two prizes in the Draft are Oden and Durant so whoever Portland passes on the Sonics will gladly settle for sloppy seconds.

3 Atlanta – Ryan – http://www.hoopsaddict.com/

Al Horford: The Hawks are tempted to go with the PG they desperately need but GM McNeill decided to wait until the 11th pick in the hopes that Mike Conley Jr is still on the board. If he’s not there, the Hawks will “settle” for the 2007 Bob Cousy Award recipitent.

Zaza Pachulia is a temporarily solution at best for the Hawks and they are looking for some beef up front to pair alongside Sheldon Williams. Williams is a bit undersized as a starting centre at 6’9″ but with a wingspan of 8’8″ he could be paired alongside Harford who is 6’10” to provide a dynamic rebounding duo.

4 Memphis – la287 – http://www.dailybasketball.com/

Brandan Wright: Making his final draft selection as GM of the Memphis Grizzlies, Jerry West decided to add another athletic big man to their roster. “The lottery this year is full of athletic big men, but we feel that Wright can step in right away (no pun intended) and contribute to our team. Wright has the potential to be a major star in this league.”

5 Boston – Jeff – http://www.celticsblog.com

Yi Jianlian: Danny Ainge will be trading for immediate help so he can afford to take the best talent available. Danny thinks Yi is the best talent available. Here be the rest of this Mockory Draft


Check on ova to the very awesome I Want to be a Sports Agent blog for the latest Carnie of da N-be-Eh.

It’s all about the Draft and it’s perfect for this time of year when everyone is struggggling to find something to talk about. Go and see what’s up!

Uh… not in the way you think, you crazy Pacman Jones people!

G. O. has a blog on Yarkbarker and it’s pretty neat. He seems to write it himself (there were tons of typos… not sure if Yarkbarker peeps are cleaning it up) and he even comments with users with ‘lol’s. Damn, he is a kid.

So on his newest entry, dude talks about the NBA draft ‘combine’ — where they workout the future millionaires. He mentions how he shyed away from bench pressing (pfft, I can do 500 in my sleep!) and other silly workouts.

The one workout he failed miserably was the 3pt Shot, to quoth:

At the end of the workout we had to shoot an NBA three-point shot. I definitely air-balled mine. Afterwards, I was just shooting around doing my best “Along Came Polly” impression of “letting in rain” and “iceman.” I hit 2 in a row! Maybe I should say that everytime I shoot a NBA three-point shot….

Oh my god, Greg, please please do that. In case you have no idea, here is the scene from said “Polly” movie (you know, during that year when Ben Stiller made 400 flicks in a month)

Dare I say it? Next season, “RAIN DROPS!” is IN, “Hibachi!” shall go OUT?!

Orlando, Orlando [Greg Oden blog]
Along Came Polly clip [YouTube]

Two things:

1) It’s actually nice outside around my parts, so I’ve decided to do something very strange: try to enjoy it. That’s why maybe the posting maybe a bit thin. Maybe.

2) The real reason why the posting is thin: g’damn the Spurs like to lay the pounding on the Jazz. It’s just not fair. At least with the Suns series, PHX were very tight with them until the end when the Championship mentality took over and calmed things down to win. However, with this series, the Jazz simply cannot answer to close the gap. Which makes for very uninteresting posts about it. Booo!

Cavaliers/Pistons? You ask? LeBron’s smart. A little too smart. Very yoda-ish…… in all his postgame interviews, whether he won or not, he’s very calm and composed. WHY ARE YOU SO CALM AND COMPOSED BRON?!?! Actually, I think it’s a good thing, years past, guys like Kobe or T-Mac get rattled after a tough loss, but with LBJ, he’s thinking “shit yo, I can bend the spoon if I wanted to!” Scary. Hopefully he wins one in Detroit just to shut Magic Johnson up just a tad.

Re: NBA Draft— Danny Ainge’s self e-Mail:

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT”

And seeing the Celtics not get their tanking ways rewarded. Big IN YOUR FACE! I have no idea if Yi Jianlian is going to the Celtics, but I just think that it’s a funny sight to have a 19 (22, whatever) year old Chinese kid be the next franchise stepping stone of the Boston Celtics. That imagery is just funny to me. Ha ha funny. Cute girlfriend he has tho.

Tonight’s there’s no games. GOOD. I need all the attention I get for the LOST TWO HOUR SEASON FINALE. Yo, it’s been a sucky season 3 of Lost I admit, but I’m still a regular watcher even though the writers fucking drag everything when they don’t need to.

Things I want to happen tonight on the finale: Jack to die. Kate to die. Charlie to save the day, but die. The monster is revealed and is David Stern. And Locke survives the gun wound to kill Ben. So yeah, lots of death, PLEASE. The finale of Heroes was horrible. I meant that lovingly, since I do like that show, but really? All the buildup, and no final battle? Underwhelmed yo.

bostonceltics.jpg
You know, I’m not too sure about this ‘tanking’ business in the NBA. 1) Because I never worked in the NBA and 2) ‘tanking’ as an expression, seems… so… I dunno, 1992. Nevertheless, this enigma apparently exists in the NBA—the art of losing.

(As a side note, if the goal of a franchise is to lose on purpose, and if they succeed in doing so, then they must be winners right? Or do we need to smoke up some more?)

This year, like any other year, the usual suspects fine tuned their heavy duty tank engines down the stretch. Exhibit C-9, Subsection 12: the Boston Celtics. Ziller Time noted on la Hause that the Cees were actively engaging in the Nation of Tank, praise be with upon Lottery Balls. And in case you want some more investigativism, Wages of Win via TrueHoop, used a calculator or something gave us numbers to back all that shit up. So congrats Doc Rivers, you earned this one—go and grab yourself that cherry soda you rightly deserve champ.

Sooooo, what do I really have to contribute to all this? TEE-SHIRTS! YAAAAAAY!

boston-celtics-tank.jpg

Check ’em out friends, you got your Boston colorway, Knicks orange & blue, sorta Portland-y reds/black and Memphis baby blues (I pretty much gave up figuring what colors they actually wear… what the hell is that?)
tankshirts.jpg

They hot cuz they fly!

So go and support your local tank artists ya heard, it might appear on the Vatican-Approved BLOG SHOW and you’ll be all like, “woah, shirt, tv, me, wear, same? cool!” [Gear of Clothing]

********

Housekeeping: my internet service providers are like the German National Curling Team: LOSERS! They think I’m Morpheus so they shut off my intertube access due to “spam”… haters. I’m currently stealing wi-fi from my neighbors (hi!!) but it’s slower than Antoine Walker. Hopefully I get things straightened out by the end of the week.