Archive for the ‘NBA Talky’ Category
You know, there’s nothing quite like a feeler in the middle of a promotional event sponsored by Coca-Cola to jump-start your day.
I can only image what both these gents are feeling right at the moment of clarity as they realize what just happened…
Liu Xiang: *thinking to himself* Holy shit…
Yao: *out loud* Damn right.
/potty Thursday humor…
INDIANAPOLIS — Indiana Pacers forward Jermaine O’Neal is now demanding a trade to NBC’s cult comedy Scrubs.
J.O. has been wishy washy of late when he made a remark to the awesomely named dude from SI.com Arash Markazi that he would “welcome a trade to the Lakers“. He then later backtracked making clear he didn’t actually demand the trade to L.A.
Now, however, word from his agent is that he does want to go to L.A., but for an entirely different reason: to star in the comedy series about hospital hijinks Scrubs.
“Scrubs is funny man!” said O’Neal, “Man, that Sarah Chalke is all sorts of hilarious… and frikkin’ HOT!”
The comedy show star Zach Braff would welcome Jermaine should he be traded: “Two brown bears? Sign me up!”
O’Neal averaged 19.4 points, 9.6 rebounds, 5.3 jokes per possession and 2.6 blocks last season in one of the best performances of his 11-year career.
First comment on the following Nike ad campaign over at YouTube: “LT owns you and your family and the world and all of everything ever in existence.” Hopefully he owns my washing machine too, because that bitch needs fixing and I can’t spare the dough yo.
(chapeau-tip to Sports Business Radio)
It’s like this, fool me once, shame on you, fool me — you can’t get fooled again. Also, in another universe, a white ex-Duke player (oxymoron..) and a reality show person are somehow “relevant” (perhaps I’m making it worse by dabbing into it as well, HOWEVA, it led me to combine the two to make a post)
You see, far too often in the lives of obscure NBA players are they succumbed to fates unkind to their personal relationships with members of the opposite sex. Here at the Unrelatedness, I’ll provide some key pointers for those that have no “charm” or aren’t “smooth” when it comes to the seedy world of dating…
On Dating Women in the Media…
DON’T go out with beat reporters, for you’ll be subjected to the following question:
– “how did you feel about your performance?”
– “was it something I did to disrupt your confidence or it just wasn’t your night?”
– “what will you do in the second half to break the defense a little more”
DO go out with these “journalists/anchorwomen” (mini-NSFW!)
On Dating Women in the public office…
DON’T go out with this lady that says she’s crazier than Lorena Bobbitt
DO go out with Madeline Albright, HOTTT!
On Dating Women that looks like a hooker but really isn’t…
DON’T do it, she’s a cop
DO…… NOT DO IT ANDRAY! Big mistake!
The skedge is out y’all. And man do I love the writer for the sidebar links that lists the “must see” games with a witty pun title…
- October 30: The Rings and the Rookie
Portland at San Antonio, 8 p.m., TNT
October 31: KD, meet AI
Seattle at Denver, 10:30 p.m., ESPN
November 2: The New Big Three
Washington at Boston, 8 p.m., ESPN
November 8: Not a Good Match
Dallas at Golden State, 10:30 p.m., TNT
December 6: Date With a Showman
Miami at Portland, 10:30 p.m., TNT
December 17: Rematch
Phoenix at San Antonio, 8:30 p.m., NBA TV
December 19: Recipe for a Classic
Phoenix at Dallas, 9:30 p.m., ESPN
December 25: A New Holiday Tradition
Miami at Cleveland, 2:30 p.m., ABC
February 8: The Return of the Big Ticket
Boston at Minnesota, 10:30 p.m., ESPN
March 19: The Answer Comes Back
Denver at Philadelphia, 7 p.m., League Pass
Well, some of those are just laaaazy. “A New Holiday Tradition?” more like “Stop it ABC, Stop Trying To Shove Your Forced Marriages Upon Our Virgin Eyes” and WTF, “Date With a Showman?” yeah, we get Shaq’s the entertainer… but what? Greg Oden likes shows? Huh? Geez, that was an air-ball if I ever saw one.
Boston at Minnesota: “Awwwkwwward…”
Danny Ainge: yeeeeello? Double Dose of Danny Ainge at your service!
Kevin McHale: It’s… it’s me… K-Dawg
Danny Ainge: K-man! How’s it hanging? Doing good? Did you see the Simpsons movie??
McHale: Yeah! It was pretty awesome! Didn’t you love the part where— hold up… there was something I called you for…
Ainge: You need to borrow money?
McHale: No.. that wasn’t it…
Ainge: …need to borrow cocaine?
McHale: hmm, might’ve been it, but I don’t think so..
Ainge: oh, maybe you wanted to borrow my hooker?
McHale: hahaha no you silly, she’s already at my place, don’t you remember?
Ainge: hah, oh my, yes.
McHale: Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not important. Glad we talked bra
Ainge: Anytime chum!