Archive for the ‘Gilbert Arenas’ Category

gil.jpgAh. Gilbert. Gilbert, Gilbert; Gilbert-Gilbert. Arenas.

Yeah, it’s a bummer. Look, I won’t front, I did jump on the bandwagon that is Agent Zero (see the beginnings of Gil mentioning herez), but hey, it was well worth the hop.

For The Unrelatedness, my humble little creative outlet, Arenas has been a key contributor of sorts (yeah, this again) because it’s sparked some wild experiments as well as confirming he’s nuts, in that good way.

(Btw 21% OFF Baseball Tees! type in code: FASTBALL for Americans and CADFASTBALL for us Loonies. Oh and new ish coming soonish!!)

Maybe it is me (probably) but having him go out this year with a — um — bang, there’s something clean about it. As in, he entertained us, all of us—and it would be surprising to find haters (if you’re one of them, go fall on some scissors pronto) since he made the season truly fun, but in the end his team couldn’t get much going. There is only so much an Illusionist can conjure up before his assistants either disappear for good or gets cut in half (literally or metaphorically…I’m haven’t decided yet).

So. Here be some thoughts heard around the blogz:

The World Has Ended [DC Sports Bog]
Living life without Gilbert Arenas [The People’s Champ — SLAMonline]
Agent Zero is off the court and under the knoife! … [WIZZNUTZZ]
This is the end [BulletsForever]
Let His End Not Be in Vain [FreeDarko]
but of course, the name himself brightens things up a bit
Hey, I’m Still Smiling [Gilbert Arenas blog]

And many them have already begun to cheer up here and here


Brother L, this is my contribution to stick it to the man lil’ biggity bitch:


Explanations of another atrocity against the blogworld, as well as major burnage here, here, here and here

*dut.. dut.. dut.. dut dududududududduddudud*

The Following Takes Place Between 9:34:08pm and 9:34:11pm
Washington D.C. — Verizon Center

Jack Bauer: Mr. President, I strongly oppose of this action! I’ve done some crazy torturing in my time, but this is sick!

President Arenas: Jack… it’s come to this, there is no other choice, it must be done, for the good for the country.

Chloe O’Brien: I… I can’t watch…

(Michael Ruffin enters into frame with an almost jovial expression)

ruffin.jpgMichael Ruffin: Hey hey folks! What’s the haps? Yeah, sorry about that dumb move I did. Won’t ever happen again— Umm.. why is the cast of 300 here…?

(awkward silence)

Michael Ruffin: Wwaait a tic, these half naked muscled men aren’t from 300, they’re…


Please, I’m sorry! It was an innocent mistake I swear! You can’t do this to me!

Arenas: Shhh, Mike.. shh. It’s going to be okay… just go to the happy place…

*bionk bomp bionk bomp bionk bomp*


[Uh.. sincere apologies for that disturbing one.. my mind goes to weird places–TheHype]

Previously on Previously Series:

Are You Smarter Than Chris Wilcox – guest starring Chris Wilcox
Entourage – guest starring Michael Redd
The Office – guest starring Yao
24 – guest starring Gilbert Arenas
Jeopardy – (no NBA players were present, but Ken Jennings is high most of the time)


This little bit of news confused the hell outta me. I know they (NBA) probably want everything on to be fuzzy, cuddly and above all non-illegal. But wtf? Retroactively censoring a goofy tale really makes me want to fork-stab someone, in a bad way (you’re probably asking, “there’s a good way?” ooh, yes.. yeess…)

Anyway, it’s moments like those that make and their ‘packaged’ infotainment hard to swallow sometimes.. seriously guys, live a little, show some skin.. it is spring time after all.

(Just in case you didn’t get the comic’s reference: World Series of Dice)

kb2.jpgSo this NCAA thing is still on? Until how long?? Sheesh, just finish already, I wants me some NBA Playoffs.

Well, before we can get to any of that, let’s take a look at one historic body-slam which took place Thursday night. Namely Kobe Bryant destroying whatever dignity the MEM Grizz had left by making them part of a trivia question.

Back to back to back 50+ pointers. DoubleU-Tee-Eff dude.

!Haterade Warning Signs!

It’s an incredible stretch of games for sure, but even though this feat is going to become another one of those “NBA Highlights of the Season/History“, I’m honestly not too hyped up about it. Maybe I’m taking his points explosions for granted these day since he does this around this time of year (like how snow is thawing outside around here); maybe I feel this way because I believe it truly doesn’t matter when the season’s over and his team gets crapped out of the playoffs; or maybe knowing others have done these ginormous accolades, I just don’t feel the speciality of it (I know, this argument, as well as the other two are pretty retarded, but that’s why I had the HaterWarning signs!) — whatever it is, I applaud the insanity of it, but it’s one of those sitting in my chair, doing the little head-nod type of applaud.

Anyways, onto some Nano-Tacks:

–The Interwebs seem to be having a slow week, so I’ll just direct ya to something you probably already read if you’re a frequenter of this blog — Gilbert Arenas’ OPUS. Look no further than that post to see why he’s the blogworld’s BFF.


–Some odd hoops mag beef war……though I sense Dime felt dissed because Ryan Jones didn’t mention them by name (ohh nameless burn!)

Have a nice weekend you silly people you 😉 !


Seriously that’s how I’d react. No joke. And yeah, he’s already much better at this doodling than I am… curses! This ad should be around the airwaves for while since I’m pre-scheduling this post (this is all Wednesday-me! Present-me is somehere on the border of Quebec and Nova Scotia) here’s the commercial again.

Simplistic, yet deep. Love it. (but why is Cartoon-Gil a lefty?)

Like the title says, I’m doing a bit of recyclin’. This was done a while back, but I didn’t know it was a Nostradamus sort of connection between a game this afternoon and tonight’s Hollywood Self-Fatulation Academy Awards

click to enlarger

To quench your undying lust for T-Wolf and Wizardry updates, go here and here. Oh and if Marty Scorsese doesn’t win… let’s just say… Taxi Driver wasn’t just a movie…

oh ps: watching the Bulls-Piston game and saw a very funny D-Wade Gatorade ad. Sigh, too bad.. you know.. he’s pretty much done for the year.. but it was mad funny tho “do it again! do it again!”

damn, I know the title wasn’t original as it is.. then I realize Deadspin used it already.. damnit Will! You know my skill for witty titles only come every other Wednesday!

Is anybody traded yet? Anybody? Bueller?

On to the Tacks!

I’m guessing some of the following have already been linked up all over the webs, but the entires are still amazingly good that it would a crime, against humanity and cute puppies all over the world, if I didn’t put it up here as well.

Check it:

  • George Takei: character actor, Sci-fi icon, and now, Tim Hardaway’s fuck buddy newest lover
  • …which totally makes sense now that you think about it. No wonder he never auditioned for “Young Wet Bitches”
  • Here are my answers to The Feed’s “30 Questions” in totally scrambled order: No, “I dunno”, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, “just because”, no, no, “both”, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, no, “six”, “pass”, no, no, yes, yes, “who cares”, no, yes. Piece it together and win a prize! (You’ll get the prize, once you can guess what it is! hint: it’s nothing!)
  • STEINZ! Owned! Burn! [expletive regarding Sam Smith!] And aww.. Dan loses the fedora.. I quite liked it (…*voodoo mind trick: send it to me…*) oh, and I cannot wait for BogTV with the ever luminous co-host Jamie Mottram, take that Magic Hour! Update: Interview With A BOGpire (horrible..horrible joke..)
  • Oh yea, I guess I should talk about trades… umm.. yea.. let’s see.. it’s 11:30am now.. and nothing’s happening… crap. I might as well offer my couch to the Clippers to see if I can acquire Maggette myself and start my own franchise. So anyway, nothing’s happening and I’ll be out til after the deadline this afternoon.. pssh NBA, so inconsiderate of MY life schedules..

To conclude, here’s Sheriff Dangle and the gang at a Sixers game… ehh, wun’t their best effort, but I still loves me my Reno 911

EDIT: Many never-ending thanks to Gilbertology for being all over this:

The Getty Images photographer Brent Stirton should have his salary increased just for this! Speaking of which, yo Getty! Hook up those piks w/o them watermarks son! How about it? (I’ll even pay you with my empty ink catridges!)

anyways, this wonderful saga continues… (and no, I will never ever evver be tired of this.. if you are.. apologies.. but c’mon! it’s still cool as ever! join my fun times!)

*dut.. dut.. dut.. dut dududududududduddudud*

The Following Takes Place Between 9am and 9:13am
Washington D.C. — Morning of the 4th of July: Oval Office

Chloe O’Brien: Mr. President! CTU just got word from German Intelligence that there might be a terrorist cell in L.A. that’s planning massive attack today!

Gilbert Arenas: First of all Chloe, it’s Mr. Black President. Damn girl, didn’t you hear? I’s got me myself a starter spot on the All-Star game. Rekonize!

Chloe: um.. okay whatever. CTU says this is Priority 1, and you know what a priority one…

Gilbert: Okay, don’t patronize me Ms. O’Brien, I know quite well what a Priority 1 is. Need I remind you I was/still am Agent Zero?

(Chloe makes her pouty face and slightly rolls her eyes)

Chloe: Fine, how do you think we should proceed?

Gilbert: There’s no choice but to send in our top guy.

(Chloe immediately breaks the tiniest of smiles)
Chloe: He’s already on the line.

Jack Bauer: Bauer here.

Gilbert: What–who’s this? Woah, I thought we were getting Kobe Bryant…

Kobe…? With all due respect sir, you cannot be serious. I know you think you have faith in a basketball player. But I’m a trained field agent that served under 2 other black presidents besides yourself and I can get the job done NOW.

Chloe: We should listen to Jack.

Gilbert: Hmm, let me think for a second.. uh-NO.

Bauer: You’re making a huge mistake…

Gilbert: Man, this fool still yappin? Cut off his line asap.

Bauer: …a potential terrorist strik—


Gilbert: God I thought he’d never shutup.. ‘blah blah, cool velvet-y voice
blah blah’, what a douche haha. Am I right Chloe, what up?

(President Arenas raises arm for high-five…)


Don’t leave me hangin’ dawg!

You’re [bleeping] idiot. Here’s your precious Mr. Bryant.

Kobe (talking off to the side): …yeah so then I said, I want a manicure
AND a pedicure or I’m taking my business else—oh, I’m on..? uhh heeeey!

yo BryBry, sources tell us that there might be a terrorist in your area

Oh word?

I know right? Crazy world.. anywho.. wanna help us out?

I dunno dude, I’m still a bit mad about that time you dropped 60 on me..

Ah crud, would you let it go already? Everytime we meet you bring it up! I don’t even talk about it as much as you do!

ugh.. fine.. I’m going to let it go. Only because of this “threat” business. And I think I have a good idea who it is.

Gilbert: Hook us up!

Kobe: Isn’t is obvious? It’s gotta be… Vlad, I mean, he’s really not even trying.

(Cut to somewhere inside Staples Center…)

Vladimir Radmanovic (on the phone): Yes, yes, they don’t suspect me one bit. I think my disguise is perfect!

Unseen Shadowy Character (on the other line): Excellent. Prepare for the Phase 5 initiation…

(camera pans over… and the reveal of the Unseen Character/twist of this episode is…..)


*bionk bomp bionk bomp bionk bomp*

And yes, that is really the omnipresent Mr. Dwyer, or KD, his Bloodz gang handle. Any friend of the hoops blogospherum is a friend of ours — check out KD’s work and his latest Power(layup) Rankings where I wish more candid headshots were used… a la lil’ (Drunk) Dun Dun.

..because this just won’t write itself..

So only got half of his 81 bananas on the anniversary of his record performance last night, oh yeah, the game? they won. To some, namely TJ Simers of LATimes, a high scoring Bryant player is what’s good for the eyes, not the “distributing to open players” and “takeover when necessary” type of player:

It seems as if it would be more exciting if the greatest scorer in the game remained the greatest scorer in the game from start to finish, but everyone now seems to be in agreement the Lakers can’t win playing that way. If winning is that important to you people, OK, but it just doesn’t seem like as much fun.

At first I’m thinking: TJ, TJ… no need to do some sort of sick double-reverse psychology. Your team’s winning, as a team, without LO to boot. Isn’t that the most exciting part of all? Buut, then, as I was eating a cake in Kwame’s honor, I thought about this a bit more.he's hiding cake in his mouth, I know it

Simers makes an understanding point: the most lethal scorer of our new era is now subdued. Watching him play just isn’t the same, adrenaline wise. Sure MJ in his later years did the same, by pacing himself in individual games (as well as the season—wouldn’t it be great if we can all have that type of telescopic vision?) so that he maximizes the effort in order to get the Dubya.

Don’t get me wrong, right now, I’m enjoying how Kobe is doing Nash-esque type things (even some of his passes resemble Stevey a bit, dribbling and looking up) But I think by him doing this, he’s lost some venom that we all love and hate.

Okay, so tonight (well, in an hour…) Phoenix gets their hack at extending another streak… vs. GilZero. The only thing that’s more exciting than Arenas’ ascension this season has been the constant joy the emanates from the Suns… choosing side tonight is like choosing whether to flip a fan off or not.. let’s get the battle royale goin’ with two superb blogs: Rising Suns and BulletsForever

And I thought about this exact thing at the time as well, where that missing game of Denver should give the Suns one of those happy asterisks (as opposed to those sad and pathetic ones for baseball folks) that they were gipped a crazy winning streak. But Nasty, the eva deep one:

“It’s amazing,” he said. “But it’s not a championship.”

Steven Nash, wordsmith.

Oh yea, be sure to read the off-the-charts-SuperSaiyan-level-4 type of sarcasm by “joe” in the comment of that article.. and I thought I was a smartass..




Bog Man: You deserve all the fedoras of the world! This truly made my day—nay—YEAR.

Gilbert Arenas: Your smile literally re-stored the power in the abandoned warehouse that I am using to type this.

Internet: thank you as well, you sly dog.

I don’t think I can post anything of substance for quite some time (re: ehh..I’ll probably post the usual Thursday Thumbtacks tonight…post-squeeing)

For the not-so-inside joke: the journey, and then, go and cop one for yourselves! Or, go to the new store and get a couple more types of tees

UPDATE – HypeShirts Is Going Worldwide!

TWO incredible haps: We have our newest model for the shirts! (Gil, you still #1 tho!) Thanks again Reese!sacbeeshoutout.jpg

Second: SAC-BEE (bzzzzz!) writer Sam Amick inadvertently talks about the blog shirts!!
(scroll down, 5th paragraph up from bottom or click here

Thanks Sam, and I’m calling my makeup artist as I type so when you interview me I’ll be ready!arenaslink2.jpg

And since we’re linking things left and right about references, this was probably the best linkage ever, since back then everything was still new and jokery (now, it’s jokes x10!) —Gilbert’s blog for the first time talks about the shirts

And now he’s REALLY modeling it! Thanks again Gilbertology!