Archive for the ‘Gilbert Arenas’ Category
*dut.. dut.. dut.. dut dududududududduddudud*
The Following Takes Place Between 9:34:08pm and 9:34:11pm
Washington D.C. — Verizon Center
Jack Bauer: Mr. President, I strongly oppose of this action! I’ve done some crazy torturing in my time, but this is sick!
President Arenas: Jack… it’s come to this, there is no other choice, it must be done, for the good for the country.
Chloe O’Brien: I… I can’t watch…
(Michael Ruffin enters into frame with an almost jovial expression)
Michael Ruffin: Hey hey folks! What’s the haps? Yeah, sorry about that dumb move I did. Won’t ever happen again— Umm.. why is the cast of 300 here…?
Michael Ruffin: Wwaait a tic, these half naked muscled men aren’t from 300, they’re…
Please, I’m sorry! It was an innocent mistake I swear! You can’t do this to me!
Arenas: Shhh, Mike.. shh. It’s going to be okay… just go to the happy place…
*bionk bomp bionk bomp bionk bomp*
[Uh.. sincere apologies for that disturbing one.. my mind goes to weird places–TheHype]
Previously on Previously Series:
Are You Smarter Than Chris Wilcox – guest starring Chris Wilcox
Entourage – guest starring Michael Redd
The Office – guest starring Yao
24 – guest starring Gilbert Arenas
Jeopardy – (no NBA players were present, but Ken Jennings is high most of the time)
This little bit of news confused the hell outta me. I know they (NBA) probably want everything on NBA.com to be fuzzy, cuddly and above all non-illegal. But wtf? Retroactively censoring a goofy tale really makes me want to fork-stab someone, in a bad way (you’re probably asking, “there’s a good way?” ooh, yes.. yeess…)
Anyway, it’s moments like those that make NBA.com and their ‘packaged’ infotainment hard to swallow sometimes.. seriously guys, live a little, show some skin.. it is spring time after all.
(Just in case you didn’t get the comic’s reference: World Series of Dice)
So this NCAA thing is still on? Until how long?? Sheesh, just finish already, I wants me some NBA Playoffs.
Well, before we can get to any of that, let’s take a look at one historic body-slam which took place Thursday night. Namely Kobe Bryant destroying whatever dignity the MEM Grizz had left by making them part of a trivia question.
Back to back to back 50+ pointers. DoubleU-Tee-Eff dude.
!Haterade Warning Signs!
It’s an incredible stretch of games for sure, but even though this feat is going to become another one of those “NBA Highlights of the Season/History“, I’m honestly not too hyped up about it. Maybe I’m taking his points explosions for granted these day since he does this around this time of year (like how snow is thawing outside around here); maybe I feel this way because I believe it truly doesn’t matter when the season’s over and his team gets crapped out of the playoffs; or maybe knowing others have done these ginormous accolades, I just don’t feel the speciality of it (I know, this argument, as well as the other two are pretty retarded, but that’s why I had the HaterWarning signs!) — whatever it is, I applaud the insanity of it, but it’s one of those sitting in my chair, doing the little head-nod type of applaud.
Anyways, onto some Nano-Tacks:
–The Interwebs seem to be having a slow week, so I’ll just direct ya to something you probably already read if you’re a frequenter of this blog — Gilbert Arenas’ OPUS. Look no further than that post to see why he’s the blogworld’s BFF.
–Some odd hoops mag beef war……though I sense Dime felt dissed because Ryan Jones didn’t mention them by name (ohh nameless burn!)
Have a nice weekend you silly people you 😉 !
Seriously that’s how I’d react. No joke. And yeah, he’s already much better at this doodling than I am… curses! This ad should be around the airwaves for while since I’m pre-scheduling this post (this is all Wednesday-me! Present-me is somehere on the border of Quebec and Nova Scotia) here’s the commercial again.
Simplistic, yet deep. Love it. (but why is Cartoon-Gil a lefty?)
Like the title says, I’m doing a bit of recyclin’. This was done a while back, but I didn’t know it was a Nostradamus sort of connection between a game this afternoon and tonight’s Hollywood
Self-Fatulation Academy Awards
oh ps: watching the Bulls-Piston game and saw a very funny D-Wade Gatorade ad. Sigh, too bad.. you know.. he’s pretty much done for the year.. but it was mad funny tho “do it again! do it again!”
*dut.. dut.. dut.. dut dududududududduddudud*
The Following Takes Place Between 9am and 9:13am
Washington D.C. — Morning of the 4th of July: Oval Office
Chloe O’Brien: Mr. President! CTU just got word from German Intelligence that there might be a terrorist cell in L.A. that’s planning massive attack today!
Gilbert Arenas: First of all Chloe, it’s Mr. Black President. Damn girl, didn’t you hear? I’s got me myself a starter spot on the All-Star game. Rekonize!
Chloe: um.. okay whatever. CTU says this is Priority 1, and you know what a priority one…
Gilbert: Okay, don’t patronize me Ms. O’Brien, I know quite well what a Priority 1 is. Need I remind you I was/still am Agent Zero?
(Chloe makes her pouty face and slightly rolls her eyes)
Chloe: Fine, how do you think we should proceed?
Gilbert: There’s no choice but to send in our top guy.
(Chloe immediately breaks the tiniest of smiles)
Chloe: He’s already on the line.
Jack Bauer: Bauer here.
Gilbert: What–who’s this? Woah, I thought we were getting Kobe Bryant…
Bauer: Kobe…? With all due respect sir, you cannot be serious. I know you think you have faith in a basketball player. But I’m a trained field agent that served under 2 other black presidents besides yourself and I can get the job done NOW.
Chloe: We should listen to Jack.
Gilbert: Hmm, let me think for a second.. uh-NO.
Bauer: You’re making a huge mistake…
Gilbert: Man, this fool still yappin? Cut off his line asap.
Bauer: …a potential terrorist strik—
Gilbert: God I thought he’d never shutup.. ‘blah blah, cool velvet-y voice
blah blah’, what a douche haha. Am I right Chloe, what up?
(President Arenas raises arm for high-five…)
Gilbert: Don’t leave me hangin’ dawg!
Chloe: You’re [bleeping] idiot. Here’s your precious Mr. Bryant.
Kobe (talking off to the side): …yeah so then I said, I want a manicure
AND a pedicure or I’m taking my business else—oh, I’m on..? uhh heeeey!
Gilbert: yo BryBry, sources tell us that there might be a terrorist in your area
Kobe: Oh word?
Gilbert: I know right? Crazy world.. anywho.. wanna help us out?
Kobe: I dunno dude, I’m still a bit mad about that time you dropped 60 on me..
Gilbert: Ah crud, would you let it go already? Everytime we meet you bring it up! I don’t even talk about it as much as you do!
Kobe: ugh.. fine.. I’m going to let it go. Only because of this “threat” business. And I think I have a good idea who it is.
Gilbert: Hook us up!
Kobe: Isn’t is obvious? It’s gotta be… Vlad, I mean, he’s really not even trying.
(Cut to somewhere inside Staples Center…)
Vladimir Radmanovic (on the phone): Yes, yes, they don’t suspect me one bit. I think my disguise is perfect!
Unseen Shadowy Character (on the other line): Excellent. Prepare for the Phase 5 initiation…
(camera pans over… and the reveal of the Unseen Character/twist of this episode is…..)
*bionk bomp bionk bomp bionk bomp*
And yes, that is really the omnipresent Mr. Dwyer, or KD, his Bloodz gang handle. Any friend of the hoops blogospherum is a friend of ours — check out KD’s SI.com work and his latest Power(layup) Rankings where I wish more candid headshots were used… a la lil’ (Drunk) Dun Dun.
..because this just won’t write itself..
So K.O.be only got half of his 81 bananas on the anniversary of his record performance last night, oh yeah, the game? they won. To some, namely TJ Simers of LATimes, a high scoring Bryant player is what’s good for the eyes, not the “distributing to open players” and “takeover when necessary” type of player:
It seems as if it would be more exciting if the greatest scorer in the game remained the greatest scorer in the game from start to finish, but everyone now seems to be in agreement the Lakers can’t win playing that way. If winning is that important to you people, OK, but it just doesn’t seem like as much fun.
At first I’m thinking: TJ, TJ… no need to do some sort of sick double-reverse psychology. Your team’s winning, as a team, without LO to boot. Isn’t that the most exciting part of all? Buut, then, as I was eating a cake in Kwame’s honor, I thought about this a bit more.
Simers makes an understanding point: the most lethal scorer of our new era is now subdued. Watching him play just isn’t the same, adrenaline wise. Sure MJ in his later years did the same, by pacing himself in individual games (as well as the season—wouldn’t it be great if we can all have that type of telescopic vision?) so that he maximizes the effort in order to get the Dubya.
Don’t get me wrong, right now, I’m enjoying how Kobe is doing Nash-esque type things (even some of his passes resemble Stevey a bit, dribbling and looking up) But I think by him doing this, he’s lost some venom that we all love and hate.
Okay, so tonight (well, in an hour…) Phoenix gets their hack at extending another streak… vs. GilZero. The only thing that’s more exciting than Arenas’ ascension this season has been the constant joy the emanates from the Suns… choosing side tonight is like choosing whether to flip a fan off or not.. let’s get the battle royale goin’ with two superb blogs: Rising Suns and BulletsForever
And I thought about this exact thing at the time as well, where that missing game of Denver should give the Suns one of those happy asterisks (as opposed to those sad and pathetic ones for baseball folks) that they were gipped a crazy winning streak. But Nasty, the eva deep one:
“It’s amazing,” he said. “But it’s not a championship.”
Steven Nash, wordsmith.
Oh yea, be sure to read the off-the-charts-SuperSaiyan-level-4 type of sarcasm by “joe” in the comment of that article.. and I thought I was a smartass..