Archive for the ‘Greg Oden’ Category

Apologies sweet and kind readers, just whipping out an oldie toon from a couple months back because I need to link to this amazing interview of Miss Gossip and Greg Oden chatting it up over at FanHouse (wordpress.com can’t embed it, KAAAAAHNNN!) that you can’t not watch, like now. Go go gadget!


FanHouse Exclusive: Miss Gossip Interviews Greg Oden [FanHouse]
NCAA Toons: The Oden Adventures [The Hype Guy]

kevindurant.jpgSo it’s Friday and everyone is partying their ears off probably. Me, I’m going to go to dim sum with a couple pals and then … that’s about it … um, I might go crazy and binge on raspberries… yeah, raspberries, what up.

But all is not lost, somehow, the lords over at NBA.com decided to bless us with live broadcast of all the Summer League games. Tonight has a couple good looking games, Seattle plays at 6pm and Portland goes up at 10pm where we can see some Durant and Oden action. So perhaps I might update here and there with some thoughts on the games as it happens (or not, I might have raspberries overdose)

So if you’re also like me, renouncing Friday nightlife, shout off in the comments here during or after the games with uh.. comments. Everyone else: have a nice weekend, try not to stab any hoboes.

Vegas Summer League Schedule [NBA.com]

Time for wacky features during the non-NBA time of the year. Today I’d like to debut here on the Unrelatedness— Off Season Miscellaneousness. The OSM (pronounced Ozzz-MEN) looks at random non-linear, non-sequitor, non-relevant basketball stories around the world where I try to make funny. Here I goes: Quotes!

Greg Oden getting his WNBA-love on

I never had a thought about the WNBA before, except when Lisa Leslie dunked the ball, which is one of my favorite dunks of all time, but if they play like that i would love to go to the games all the time.

!!! Emphasis totally mine!!! Gregory! I know you’re young and all (psst! I’m young too!) and I know that Double-L’s dunk was historic… STILL! There are so many dunks over the course of human history, and you had to choose that one. But props to you for saying it like you feel tho

Kobe Bryant likes using the naughty wordz

“Ship his [rear end] out. We’re talking Jason Kidd,” said Bryant. “They didn’t want to do that. That’s why we’re in this [messed up] position.”

Tranlatorz: [rear end] = is what Andrew Bynum plays like; [messed up] = is what Lakers are, where Kobe had a hand in it, whether he likes it or not

Agent Zero is writing a book

I’m writing a book.

It ain’t going to be the T.O. “I Need My Ball” or whatever that book was called. It ain’t going to be the Phil Jackson book. Mine is going to be more like Chicken Soup for the Soul. Mine is going to be like that with more funny stuff. It’s going to be hilarious.

Stuff like, “If you’re a No. 1 or No. 2 pick, why do you need an agent?” Reality stuff like that. You might as well just give your money to Vegas because that’s all you’re doing with the agent, you’re just giving it to him. Because you’re the No. 1 or No. 2 pick, point blank, you don’t need an agent. It’s a slotted system now. It’s not like you’re Glenn Robinson coming out saying “Give me $100 million.” You can’t do that anymore.

So it’s going to be mostly funny stuff like that. Attacking people, attacking the system, attacking critics … stuff like that.

It’s going to be the funniest basketball player book, I can bet on that.

Uh… not in the way you think, you crazy Pacman Jones people!

G. O. has a blog on Yarkbarker and it’s pretty neat. He seems to write it himself (there were tons of typos… not sure if Yarkbarker peeps are cleaning it up) and he even comments with users with ‘lol’s. Damn, he is a kid.

So on his newest entry, dude talks about the NBA draft ‘combine’ — where they workout the future millionaires. He mentions how he shyed away from bench pressing (pfft, I can do 500 in my sleep!) and other silly workouts.

The one workout he failed miserably was the 3pt Shot, to quoth:

At the end of the workout we had to shoot an NBA three-point shot. I definitely air-balled mine. Afterwards, I was just shooting around doing my best “Along Came Polly” impression of “letting in rain” and “iceman.” I hit 2 in a row! Maybe I should say that everytime I shoot a NBA three-point shot….

Oh my god, Greg, please please do that. In case you have no idea, here is the scene from said “Polly” movie (you know, during that year when Ben Stiller made 400 flicks in a month)

Dare I say it? Next season, “RAIN DROPS!” is IN, “Hibachi!” shall go OUT?!

Orlando, Orlando [Greg Oden blog]
Along Came Polly clip [YouTube]

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You know, I’m not too sure about this ‘tanking’ business in the NBA. 1) Because I never worked in the NBA and 2) ‘tanking’ as an expression, seems… so… I dunno, 1992. Nevertheless, this enigma apparently exists in the NBA—the art of losing.

(As a side note, if the goal of a franchise is to lose on purpose, and if they succeed in doing so, then they must be winners right? Or do we need to smoke up some more?)

This year, like any other year, the usual suspects fine tuned their heavy duty tank engines down the stretch. Exhibit C-9, Subsection 12: the Boston Celtics. Ziller Time noted on la Hause that the Cees were actively engaging in the Nation of Tank, praise be with upon Lottery Balls. And in case you want some more investigativism, Wages of Win via TrueHoop, used a calculator or something gave us numbers to back all that shit up. So congrats Doc Rivers, you earned this one—go and grab yourself that cherry soda you rightly deserve champ.

Sooooo, what do I really have to contribute to all this? TEE-SHIRTS! YAAAAAAY!

boston-celtics-tank.jpg

Check ’em out friends, you got your Boston colorway, Knicks orange & blue, sorta Portland-y reds/black and Memphis baby blues (I pretty much gave up figuring what colors they actually wear… what the hell is that?)
tankshirts.jpg

They hot cuz they fly!

So go and support your local tank artists ya heard, it might appear on the Vatican-Approved BLOG SHOW and you’ll be all like, “woah, shirt, tv, me, wear, same? cool!” [Gear of Clothing]

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Housekeeping: my internet service providers are like the German National Curling Team: LOSERS! They think I’m Morpheus so they shut off my intertube access due to “spam”… haters. I’m currently stealing wi-fi from my neighbors (hi!!) but it’s slower than Antoine Walker. Hopefully I get things straightened out by the end of the week.

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My money’s on Greg. Dude probably fought off a group of savages for a local village back in the 1700s. He’s THAT old.