Archive for the ‘Charlotte Bobcats’ Category

You need to know who’s going where for how much $$? Well, go look up it guy, I’m not your mom. Oh wait, um, sorry! Please come back! I’m cranky because I didn’t have my morning cookie. Alright, alllright… I’m better now. So, here is the exhaustive comprehensive list of all thing Free Agency signage:

Chauncey Billups: $60 Mil, 5 years
First thing to purchase: 500 iPhones, one for each of his contacts

Rashard Lewis: $4274580223147 Mil, ∞ years
First thing to purchase: Canada

Gerald Wallace: $57 Mil, 6 years
First thing to purchase: Bethlehem Shoals‘ apartment

Jason Kapono: $24 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: more hair gel

Cookie Monster: 10 000 Cookies Carrots, 10 years
First thing to purchase: the hell? you can’t buy shit with carrots, what a dumbass… carrots…

Michael Moore: $40 Mil, 2 years
First thing to purchase: a life size doll of Dr. Sanjay Gupta and burn it

Vince Carter: $61 Mil, 4 years
First thing to purchase: a new cooter

A solemn goodbye to Dennis Johnson. CelticsBlog is definitely a place to turn to for perspective and while you’re there, give the guys a good ‘ol blog-hug.

Steven Kerr and J-Mac also wrote about DJ’s lasting effect on the word ‘tough’. RIP DJ.

Speaking of Kerr, dude does it all. After doing color commentary for TNT he has the intestinal fortitude to write about how the Heat can still “theoritically” make it work without Wade. Dude, Steve, bro, buddy, I know you’re throwing them a bone and being a respected analyst of the NBA you’ve got to do that.. but c’mon man, say it with me “the-HEAT-are-done” ahh.. feels good huh.

But look, I’m only burying the team and seriously not giving them a chance now so that when they prove me wrong, it’ll be so much easier to root for them. Think about it: they’re in no position to win—8th in the East with Joisey breathing down just one and a half games behind, Wade out 6 weeks to cry some more, and Riles JUST came back… and oh yeah, only 28 games to be played. “Underdog” is right my friends! If they somehow make it and have Wade back strong, hell yeah I’ll be rooting for them, and I’m not a hypocrite if I stated my intentions (true story).

So follow my equation \frac{x+Heat}{y-Wade}= \int y \mathrm{\Psi}x \times \frac{\Theta}{\Phi} \textit{ where y is Playoffs}

As you can see, my logic is failproof.

Okay, so the big trades were Fred Jonessss to Portland, Juan Dixon to T-Dot, Anthony Johnson to Hawks and ALAN F’ning HENDERSON to the Jazz. Awesome. Though I’ll say this about Dixon’s move, he’s another solid “scoring” PG for the Raps but since Calderon and Ford are pretty good combo as it is, I have a feeling Dix might have a hard time seeing PT (unless he becomes straight up lock-down defender…)

Matt Carroll. Why did I bring up this obscure cat from the Bobcats? I have no freaking clue. Well, maybe because the last point in Rick Bonnell’s Charlotte Observer blog (if only I can grow a moustache…) he mentioned that Carroll is an all around balla, not just a shooter.

— Most people see Matt Carroll as just a shooter. He’s not. He’s an all-around basketball player who can shoot. During Morrison’s scoring run, Carroll grabbed two huge rebounds against taller players. He’s tough, smart and productive.

Carroll’s line is 43% from the field on 3 of 8, goes to the FT stripe tearing up 92% style, getting 11pts per all in 24 minutes this year. And you know he’s a thug because he’s all arm-band and shit! Matt Carroll, Obama’s running mate.

And lastly, I noticed Yahoo¿ now has faux-blogs from Adrian Wojnarowski here. Good for The ‘Hoo! but the comments section is uugh.. so very message-board-y.. *shudder*


I’m going to say it, I don’t care: Adam Morrison is fugly. There. I know, I know, I’m going against the “popular crowd” on this, but I’m totally going to stick to my convictions on this one. I’m sorry ladies, but while everyone is in love with Adam’s boyish looks, I just have to say no. I’m just trying to keep it real yo.

(oh, my sarcasm machine just broke)

Preview-icious: The Hawks’ preview from Impending Firestorm is here and the Charlotte Bobcats from Bobcat Bonfire gets previewed over here.

In UnrelatednessNews: I’ll be doing my school’s underground radio show (that’s right, I’m going old school, not this podcast mumbo jumbo where you can download it and listen to it whenever— it’s internet streamed! Yeah, one time only bitches) tomorrow (Monday) at 2pm ET over at to talk about, yes, the NBA preview!! If you have a chance out of your busy schedule of real work, have a listen.

But you know, it’s a university type radio show… don’t expect anything fancy. Addition to that, don’t expect anything fancy from me! I’ll try my hardest to pretend to know what I’m talking about.

So, for the conclusion of this Sunday, I leave you with the future face of Pop-Superstardom:


9/6/2006 8:53:45 AM

NBA Ball and Other Unrelatedness basketball columnist, goofy-looking kid, and lover of tea Hype is looking at one NBA team each day in just about an hour for the whole month of September. He wrote this in 15mins because something shiny caught his attention.

Season Preview
Charlotte Bobcats

First of all, I cannot stress enough times how great it is that the dude who gave the world “Hot In Heeerrrrrrrrre” is an owner of an NBA franchise. That alone gives this team an edge of something, I haven’t decided what yet. And secondly, while we’re on the topic of owners, Michael Jordan is lending his money counting skills in also being part owner of this team. So, if you’re keeping score at home, the owners are: Rap guy that used to have a band-aid on his cheeks—CHECK; former basketball great but now misses shots without anyone guarding—CHECK; guy that created a tv station that produced 106 & Park?—CHECK and CHECK


Well, moving on to something a bit more substantial: Players. Omeka Okafor only played 26 games last season due to injury so this year he’ll have something to prove and make the most of this comeback. They got some kid that cries and plays basketball from time to time high in the draft. And…and…um.. They have Walter Herrmann? (Geez this is harder than I thought it would be)

Alright, so there really isn’t that much one can say about a team just going into their 3rd birthday.. But know this: I did not watch one single game of the Bobcats, ever.

(TheHype’s totally uninformed, irresponsible and more importantly, not-so-funny views do not reflect those of the company. In fact, we’re trying to replace him with a younger, buffer CW-type of actor and hope no one notices…)

30 teams in 30 days []

-this post goes into the meh attempt lunacy section-