Archive for the ‘Houston Rockets’ Category

Things you may or may not be interested in about our lovely NBA players’ lives…

Yao Ming got married and this teammates celebrated the event by playing softball (holy crap, T-Mac’s bro pulled in some talent! … upon the updates… they do not have any relations… still hot)

— Rafer was so happy for Yao he went and got himself jailed for the night

— James Posey, even though he’s not even a teammate of Yao’s, decided to drop trou

Kobe may or may not be divorced

A debate for the ages

— and Scrap is doing God’s work with a very serious and important coverage of our lifetime!

May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:

[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*]

*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*

[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*—click—phone picked up]

uh… he… hello?

YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO

um… KG, that you…?

Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.

[off to the side] I know.

Listen to me, it’s not your fault.

[serious] I know.

No you don’t, it’s not your fault.

Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.

[…]

I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?

Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.

yao-ming.jpg

houstonrocketsgirl.jpgMy answer is: 1-c, 2-b, 3-d, 4-a

So the Rockets were able to dispatch the Utah Jazz last night where T-Mac finally has a chance to legitimately get out of the 1st Round in a convincing fashion. I don’t go deep into analysis of that game because—A) I totally didn’t watch it B) Don’t want to jinx the Human Twig aka McGrady.

Moving on to other Game 1s:

Raps lost in a close one (game I did watch, hurray for me). You know what? It was a good lost, as dumb as that sounds. They were looked shook because they got tight whenever Jersey scored and wanting to punch back right away with a bucket to get momentum—but in doing so, they let defensive matchups slip. There were hardly any possessions when the Nets didn’t score. I think Smitch needs to look into that.

Detroit won while Brian Hill was making his summer plans on the sidelines……

Bulls/Heat weird game: even with a crap game from Wade and a fouled out Shaq, it actually was a lot closer than the actual score—which was close as it was!……

OH, and make sure to browse HoopsAddict’s collection of playoff queries collected in a Voltron-like fashion, tons of great answers from everyone (psst! I also chimed in!) So have a look over at HoopsAddict now!

jasonkapono.jpgEvery Wednesday from now until the playoffs (or eternity, whichever comes first), the Unrelatedness shall go into deep length about a vague topic nobody cares about take a moment and observe the bball world at the macro level (I have no idea what that means either)

“Ah!! It BURNS!!!” That’s how’d I react if the bloody Heat, using Dwyane “Elastic Arms” Wade’s impending return as an uplift, are suddenly the hunters instead of the hunted. They did take down the young studs that is the Barney team last night. Even though the Jurassic Park Team were wounded as it is (Andrea and Jorge gone due to injury—NOTE: those are really NBA players, you must believe me), the real dinosaurs, Shaq & Co. gutted out the win. You know, their bullcrap of suddenly turning it up would annoy me, but I think a major props is due because they know if they use the last few week’s winning momentum, then they’d be in top shape during playoffs.

Wait. You know what. I take that back. F Miami. I hate them, I hate their fans and their movies. Because I’m fickle like that, that’s just how I roll.

Down shifting gears there’s an interview with everyone’s favourite OJ Mayo over at HoopsWorld. In there, he sounds pretty down to earth and seems like he’s in control of what he’s doing. On playing more than one year at USC:

Are you someone who’s looking to learn what he can in one year’s worth of college basketball then hit the big league, or are you still leaving open the possibility of playing a couple years at USC?

I can see myself staying for more than one year. I’ll stay until I feel like I’m ready to go to the next level. They’re all stepping stones until you get to where you want to get to—until you reach what’s above your head. I’m going to accomplish everything that I want to accomplish in college, and once I’ve done that, then I’ll be ready to leave.

BWahaha, yea right son! Even if you don’t win the NCAA Championship next year, I’m willing to bet my friend’s dog that you’ll declare, just ask Oden. But back to the interview, here’s what makes me think Mayo has a solid head about the things around him:

You and Kevin Love are two of the most highly-touted prospects in the country, and you’re going to be playing your college ball about twenty minutes away from each other in L.A. Do you see Love being someone you could spark a friendly rivalry with throughout your collegiate and pro careers?

(Laughing) You never know. It just depends, but I hope so. I think most definitely it would be a great rivalry. I know him since the eighth grade, he’s a great guy and a great competitor also. Knowing he’s only twenty minutes away, I think we’ll be pushing each other and it’ll make us better players. I think it’s good for both of us.

Oooooo, why don’t you just marry him if you love him that much! ♪ OJ and Kevin, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-♪–err.. moving on…

What the hell did Dirk eat?? Insider sources revealed this to The Unrelatedness today:

dirknowitzki.png

Finally, there is only one Highlander: Yao, being CPotW (Conference Player of the Week for you acronym evaders) is now part of the Brotherhood of Cracking Jokes at Mount Mutombo:

Asked Mutombo’s age, Yao Ming said, “Like his number.”

Mutombo wears No. 55.

BURN!

Now, for your afternoon delight:

POST-IT NOTES GOT THE STREETz ON LOCKDOWN, OAKTOWN!!!

Okie, as we near the end of the season we really should look at which teams are bound to make it all the way. I mean, we really should. But let’s take look at a team that shouldn’t even be talked about, but is trying to make a rumble.

Specifically, 76ers. Winning four in a row yo, J.B. fills us in. What is up with that gang? Don’t you guys want top picks in da lottery? They’ll have are a hard time securing that spot since Hotlanta, Boston and Mumphis are better losers than they are (that makes him Winners!). But, I’m glad this his surge has been also good to Iggy, (good thing we checked up on him), ballin’ straight up this past month (20+ pts in almost all of them). It’s great that he’s building that momentum to become a greater player, and winning certainly helps.

HOWEVA, what about the draft picks? They’re flirting with that unattainable girl called Playoffs:

Why not?” is how Andre Iguodala would answer that.

“Look at the Orlando Magic last year,” Iguodala said. “They were in a similar position. Nobody was looking at them and they sprouted up and finished ninth and surprised everybody. You never know.

“We’re going to keep playing hard and we’re going to play like we have a chance. We can only control what goes on on the court.”

“It’s been the high point of the season so far,” Iguodala said.

“I was at an autograph signing and this guy was saying, “You guys are playing well, and that’s good, but we’re not getting a lottery pick if you guys keep winning,’ ” Sixers forward Andre Iguodala said.

Can’t knock A.Iv2.0 and his confidence and spirit though, even in a weird/bad year that his team went through. Good thing home town Philly-ers feel the same way, as a recent SLAM feature shows his popularity.

Next TOPIC

Yao apparently is cleared to face the flippin casual Cavs tonight! And he’s going to be wearing an leg instrument!

“The new brace Keith found is doing its thing really well,” Dawson said. “Yao likes it. Everything is looking good. He’s made a lot of progress.”

*I know it’s his right leg, but I think we all know Yao needed to balance the weight.

I bet Zzzz is happy that Mr. Ming isn’t at full strength yet, and they’ll have their epic battle of the slow moving mountains tonight. But, a limping Yao trumps a normal Z any day. Advantage, Robocop leg.


I taped this unprecedented, earth shattering, event the other night and thought it was quite amusing, (see the other day’s post about their adventure)

I couldn’t find a copy on YouTube so I took the liberté and uploaded it myself—which explains the godawful capture quality (sorry folks, still using archaic transferring technologies…hey you got some free MacBooks lying around, hooks me up yo!)

Anyways, enjoy thy goodie on this sad 24th of December where no NBA game is played, before the SternBot and/or ABC monkeys sends out Sentinels to eviscerate my vid.. snif.. 🙂


You gotta read the CHRONIC!cle article about Yao and McGrady’s late night television appearance taped Monday, tons of great quotes, my fav:

McGrady is told of the Yao video making the rounds on the Internet in which he makes a tough jumper, then is seen shouting, “You can’t (expletive) stop me!”

“No!” McGrady shouts, falling back in his seat. “He didn’t say that! You said that, big fella? What did you say? What did you say? What did you say? Say it now.”

With Yao laughing too hard to answer, McGrady realizes why Yao won’t tell him.

“Wait a minute,” McGrady says. “You said it in English? The same game you beat your chest? Oh, that’s great.”

In case, here’s the vid. I must ponder over the social ramifications of this, assuming YouTube isn’t blocked in China. Yao’s the shit over there, so Chinese ballers that watched it will now have a new found appreciation for el “swagger”. This is good, because I really want their smack talk lexicon to go from, “hello, I will score on you, sir” to “I will f^&*%king eat your babies bitch!!”

Oh btw: HELL YES!!

stabball.jpg

Great way to start a Saturday huh, with just a smidget of cartoon-y violence. I don’t get “The Wire” up here, but I imagine that’s exactly how things would’ve gone down.

The New/Old Ball-pocalypse may or not really be a done deal, so that leaves us with another anti-climatic cliffhanger until the full resolution comes next season. Get new writers Stern! But hopefully the above installment will be the last ep in the string of | various | appearances | around here. |

Of course, it’s no Orange Roundie..

The Allen Iverson Purgatory Watch: Day 9, but it feels like Year 9. T-Dot scrambled the phone lines to tell the world they have 3 Mil to throw into this clusterfu rotisserie of a trade.

Suns extend their winning streak to number One-Three! They’re so hot right now, Jack McCallum’s book is spontaneously combusting in bookstores everywhere!

Yao Ming brought out the Peking Duck, called his friendslego.jpg (NOT inviting McGrady though, understandable) for a Block Party! He got a career high 8 blocks with 6 of them in the first half alone. Not wanting to be outdone, Dikembe Mutombo remembered, “oh shit, I can do that too!” and added 3 of his own. Per usual, Deke waved his finger, injuring 12 courtside attendees, 3 in critical condition.

Then the Rockets blew a 21 pt lead but Yao’s 8th block (well, goaltend) was crucial since they were down 2 with sixty on the crickety. OT: Kobe vs. Yao, both had chance to shoot to win. Draw. DoubleOT: Rockets missed everything, Kobe made everything. Lakers win. Kobe 53-10-8. Yao’s 35-15-4 and the aforementioned 8 blocks looks so, so sad.

However, Ben Wallace scoffs at both those un-American chumps by Kirby-ing his career high 27 boards. That’s just one shy of the entire Bucks’ defensive rebounds. Twenty effin’ Seven!

Pau Gasol played last night for the first time since the summer. Stat line: 4pts in 17mins… and they lost. Grizzlies: no no no no no! You want to tank the season AND save your franchise guy, c’mon! Greg Oden is rolling in his grave.

And the Wizards finally beat the Heat after 3 and half years of being hexed. Or sucked. Possibly both.

Related: hot damn, a one of a kind magical blogger is reveales(!!!!) I gotta say that’s a sharp looking dude (no Rod Strickland homo) to go with the genius mind that came up with Wizznutzz.

Quick thought, they should start a site called GrizzNutzz… ehh? ehh? Okay, maybe not.

Btw, me done with them exam thinys. Huzzah!

As in, Tracy McGrady’s un-freakin-believable back is at it again.

Look, Tracy, um, TMac, wait wait…TeeDawg, you and me dude, we’re friends right? Remember when you started blowing up in Orlando, throwing off the glass alleys to yourself? Good times right? I was there with you the whole time man, vouching for your legitimacy, having serious fights (psychologically and physically) with friends debating who’s better: AI or you (which looking at it now… you both seem like jerks).

When others feel you’re made of glass for all of last year, I still had that glimmer of hope, “nah, T-Cuz is gonna be sick, I can feel it” So much so that I took you on my Fantasy team. Now you’re out again, for the year?! How DARE you. You know what man? It’s over with us. Yeah, I’m breaking up with you. It’s not ME, it’s YOU. Don’t bother coming back, I’m changing the locks.

Yes, yes, I know you’re a human being and you have an actual ailment. But when it comes to messing my first try at playing fantasy? All bets are off buddy!

hugs & kisses
xoxoxo,
TheHype

(Sorry if this wasn’t either a post about Iverson or the basketball change. It’s not that I’m snobby like that, but really just because I can’t contribute to those items rationally. I mean, you really want me to say Iverson should swap with Luke Ridnour?)

Here’s some ARM PORN for y’all:

arm porn!!

Answer: Shane’s so smooth, he makes Nocioni take it like a man!

And I’m so glad I stayed up for Inside the NBA, that cross promotional segment with that chick and her show had “slowburn” turned to the max. But I might check it out, the clip showed one of my favourite comedians, Jim Gaffigan.

Oh, and Carlos Boozer’s a great guy, said Carlos Boozer.

Captions are muchos welcome!
shanetops.jpg
“That’s right Andres! Think about THIS next time you try to come from behind to steal a win! Mwhahaah.”