Archive for the ‘Los Angeles Lakers’ Category

Well now, Kobe Bryant wants to kiss up and make nice with his mighty GM Mitch Kupchak for all that other crap from about a month back:

“That’s a shame,” Bryant said. “I went in just to tell [Kupchak], ‘You know what, man? I’m sorry that thing came out like that. You never want that to happen.’ I just felt like as a man, that was important to say that to him. I could have easily picked up the phone and called him, but that’s not something that I wanted to do. I wanted to go down and see him face-to-face and tell him that face-to-face.”

Yeah! Kobe doesn’t fuck with phones, he’s a MAN, shit yeah! Ah, I shouldn’t really be snarky about this—it’s a good thing that he’s willing to make nice after going all Shannen Doherty on the organization. Perhaps the calm side of him knows he’s never going to be really traded or perhaps the hissy fit was a one time thing, who knows.

Oh, but check this line out from the same article:

On that subject, Bryant spoke exuberantly about the 450 campers ages 8 to 18. Some groups at the camp have learned facets of both the Princeton offense and the triangle offense in the span of a few days.

The writer is talking about Kobe’s Camp4Kidz (or called something similar…) but woah! You got kids that know the facets of the Triangle offense?? Jesus, sign those dudes up and promptly replace Vlad, Brian Cook and about 5 other Lakers guys, pronto!

Bryant eases back on throttle [LA Times]

And it’s a doodle… and it’s over here at Das Haus. Enjoy.


With all due respek to the folks of Go Fug Yourself

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe. Yes. We all know how you are. We know you very well. In fact, we know you a little too well.

We know that you like score — in more ways than one. We know that you want to be DA MAN. We know that you’re someone that basks in the limelight of having everyone be in awe of your talents.

We know that you probably like the movie Scarface (call it a hunch)… what we didn’t know was that you wanted to be go back to 1980s Miami to be an extra for the film with that getup of yours.

Hats are cool, I mean, everyone likes hats. But that thing that’s above your head… that’s no hat sir. It’s like dried orange peels “pretending” to be a hat/fedora/atrocity. Which I guess explains the mango shirt your wearing. Who the hell wears mango?! I take it you wanted to stick it to the Suns after you poured 45 on so you just had to ridicule their their pretty orange colors huh? “TAKE THAT orange! I’m going with a colorway that’s kinda orange, but off-colored. Bitches!” Don’t even get me started on the shoes…

Your daughter Natalia probably thinks you’re going to a mango factory now. Shame on you.


yin-yang2.jpgThe mystical Miss Gossip (aka SunsGossip aka Boris Diaw Stalker #37) and I decided to do a “live blog” game-notes of sorts for last night’s game. To see the devastating results of two people with wi-fi laptops and tons of free time, I invite you to soldier on below. Be warned, the surplus of facial hair/lookalike commentary may cause radiation after consumption……

10:41 PMMiss Gossip: Who are you rooting for?????

10:41 PMTheHype: like duh, you even have to ask?

Hubie Brown.



10:42 PMMiss Gossip: wait I wasn’t ready
do it again

TheHype: NOW!
10:43 PMMiss Gossip: Ummm I have Nate Jones in another chat window. I don’t know if I can deal with his Lakerism.
Much love, Nate.
TheHype: BLOCK HIM!!! hahah kidding
10:44 PM 2-2, Amare with a travel… you know, I feel he freaking travels every single time, but glad they don’t call it…
10:45 PMMiss Gossip: Boris travels all the time
It’s a French thing
10:46 PMwait, Ronny started??
TheHype: I can’t wait until he dances
always my favorite part of the game
LUKE WITH A KISS TO BRITNEY!!! i mean.. a 3..
10:47 PMMiss Gossip: you’re actually, like, calling game action
I guess I’m supposed to be the color commentator
10:47 PMTheHype: ba da ching!
Okay, so Hausers across the board last night blew the predictions.. let’s make it up tonight

Miss Gossip: NOT ME
10:49 PMI was right on. picked the winner and the fact that Turiaf got a TNT Flight of the Night
TheHype: LIES

10:50 PMMiss Gossip: GO CHECK THE POST FOOL!
10:51 PMTheHype: uh, you said “L.A.”, based on that, you should’ve been disqualified XD
10:52 PM okay, technicalities aside, back to da game 15-14 Fakers up!!??!?
Miss Gossip: Relax
They’re gonna get tired.
10:53 PMTuriaf is already slowing down
10:55 PMMiss Gossip: Live look-in….. Warriors are up (yay!) Clippers are up (uh-oh!).
10:56 PMTheHype: So I know Dub Nation is crazy, what are YOU willing to do for them to make it to the postseason? (nothing PG13, I want RAW ish)
10:57 PMMiss Gossip: ummmm something that will actually help? Like hitting Sam Cassell in the knees with a tire-iron?
TheHype: That is HOT
10:58 PMMiss Gossip: YAYYYY Boris!
He plays better when he comes off the bench.
It’s a French thing.
TheHype: It’s an elf thing
10:59 PMMiss Gossip: boooooooooooooo Hype mean!
11:05 PMwhat’s your point total for KB tonighte?
TheHype: 388 points
Miss Gossip: naw
I think that’s a little high.
TheHype: oh.. you’re right.. definitely not 50+
11:06 PM33 pts, and 3 assists… what you got for Nash?
Miss Gossip: wait, I don’t get to pick for Kobe too?
TheHype: Denied!
Okay okay fine.. shoot
11:07 PMMiss Gossip: Kobe…. 47 points. 0.5 assists.
TheHype: Ooh, so an off the glass jam eh? NICE
Miss Gossip: exactly.
11:08 PM Nash: 29 points, 13 assists. The 13 is for today’s lucky Friday the 13th.
11:09 PM DAG! Golden State straight ran away with this while I blinked, up by 20.
11:10 PMTheHype: Whaaaa?! I’m calling shananigans
Ron Artest probably took half the Kings squad with him to a club at the end of 1st
11:11 PMMiss Gossip: mmmhmmm
Bynum looks a little bit like the guy from Scrubs/Clueless.

TheHype: dude, I love Scrubs
Donald Faison, what up!
11:12 PM I think.. and this is weird.. he looks like…. Ashanti…
11:13 PMMiss Gossip: I’d have to see a picture. But I’ll take your word for it.
Jordan Farmar kind of looks like that guy who plays for the D-Fenders.
11:14 PMTheHype: Yeah eh! I hear he got scooped up by the Lakers
maybe Farmar might’ve ran into him?
Miss Gossip: wait, they’re BOTH playing for the Lakers now?!!!

11:16 PMTheHype: Maybe Henry Abbott can play for them at halftime?
the blogging skills can FINALLY pay off
11:19 PM 35 – 35 , 7 of 8 shooting for Nash, I really think he has magical powers
11:26 PM I would love to see this game played for 48 minutes with NO fouls, timeouts, or breaks between periods. Just run and shoot for 48 minutes straight.
except take a timeout right now because I have to pee.

11:27 PMTheHype: That? Is Don Nelson’s wet dream… the 48 minutes straight thing, not the.. uh.. other thing..
Miss Gossip: although this game is kinda low-scoring so far
TheHype: Where’s the Gorilla to hype up the match when you need him??
11:28 PMMiss Gossip: here he is!
11:31 PMTheHype: 46-44 Rah Rah with a three! Btw, you believe that stuff about Raja and Kobe being “civil” to each other now?
11:32 PM I think they secretly go out on movie nights between games….
it’s all an act….

11:33 PMMiss Gossip: you think they’re, like dating?
wait, does Amare have an equals sign shaved into his hair?

or is that just a bad haircut
TheHype: questions questions questions…
11:34 PM (okay, break time… gotta get a drink!)
Miss Gossip: grab one for me too, please
11:35 PM make it a double.
11:55 PMMiss Gossip: you want me to look for some pics of the Scrubs guy during timeouts?
TheHype: psshh, I have him on my desktop wallpaper!

11:56 PM wait.. that..’s not weird right?
Miss Gossip: hahahahaha
ummm is he nekkid?
DAMN the Suns can’t hit their alley-oops tonight.
11:58 PMTheHype: 57 – 53 Suns… llaaaamme late call
11:59 PMMiss Gossip: that was a funny story about Turiaf, I saw that chest-pound thing
I think that was Tim Thomas that hit him in the chest
Tim Thomas, always up to something
we’re onto you Tim
12:00 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha
ewww did he just say James Jones can’t “break the seal”?

12:01 AMTheHype: awk-ward
12:08 AMTheHype: 103-93 Dubs.. close game now?
12:09 AMMiss Gossip:I’m keeping my eye on it.
I got two TVs and a desktop computer (in addition to this laptop I’m typing on). Three games at a time
12:10 AMTheHype: oh yea?? well.. I have.. a cup of water in my right hand.. THERE
mike_dantoni.jpg12:11 AM NICE hustle Boris!
Miss Gossip: He pissed PJ off!!!
TheHype: It’s a French thing
12:12 AMMiss Gossip: oui oui.
12:16 AMTheHype: I think D’Antoni, even as he’s very angered with the ref calls, rocks a bitchin’ moustache
12:17 AMMiss Gossip: oh hellz yeah
12:21 AM well shit, maybe it’s ok if the Clips win then, just let the Lakers keep losing. WARRIORS IN THE PLAYOFFZ!
12:22 AMTheHype: That is crazy, not over a month ago Nellie was all like … ‘blah blah, not making playoffs, blah blah I’m old and moody, blah blah blah’
12:23 AMMiss Gossip: hahaha it was all just a HEAD GAME he was playing on his boys!
TheHype: one questions though, will B-Diddy EVER shave that beard
12:24 AM that thing is massive!
Miss Gossip: DUDE
barondavis.jpgit’s a playoff beard
he can’t shave until they’re out.
TheHype: I think there’s like a pack of wolves living in there
12:25 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha

12:26 AMTheHype: touché
12:29 AM Woah, Vuja..Vuya…Vuajkajkcjich is making this a game??
12:30 AMMiss Gossip: nah
don’t be fooled young Hype.
TheHype: you must teach me the Ways, Jedi Master
12:33 AMMiss Gossip: oh shit
not now
Lakers are about to make a move
TheHype: 76-71, grrr we haven’t had a monster STAT jam
Miss Gossip: just had a monster STAT missed jam.
hey! there was Go the Gorilla, did you see him?
12:34 AMTheHype: damnit, I missed it, he’s an elusive one… always trying to woo a young lady/gorilla
12:35 AM Luke Walton dipped his head in a bucket of water or what
Miss Gossip: yeah I think so
lukewalton.jpg12:36 AM he does it to get that cool glistening look
they teach you tricks like that in the soap operas.
12:38 AMTheHype: I’m totally using that next time I go out — LADIES…
12:40 AM off topic (—> picture): hornets-cheerleader.jpgjust breaks my heart…
12:41 AMMiss Gossip: HA!!! I saw that chick on TV when I was watching that game.
12:42 AM awww don’t worry OKC — you’ll get the Sonics soon enough, trust me.
shit I should be a little more worried about this game.
12:43 AMTheHype: just a “little”, ugh! missing the gimmes
Miss Gossip: fuck!
tjree [pint game
*three point game
just kidding
Nash came through.
12:44 AMTheHype: Luke, take your glistening hair outta here!
12:45 AMMiss Gossip: Love that Nash jump-fake pass
12:50 AMTheHype: eep, finish them Sun-ers!
Miss Gossip:shot clock!
12:52 AMTheHype: slice up the tomatoes and put some bacons on this sub, this game’s DONE
(that better have made sense somewhere in this world)
12:53 AMMiss Gossip: I don’t know
it’s not over yet….
TheHype: ye of little faith
12:54 AMMiss Gossip: nooooooooooo I have faith
I’m just saying.
TheHype: How does Raja keep his dome so fresh?
12:55 AM
and I realize i’ve been VERY keen on hair styles this conversation…
it’s not the norm.. I ASSURE you
Miss Gossip: duuuude he has a personal barber
the same guy that does Puffy’s hair.
12:57 AMTheHype: Scandalous!
Miss Gossip: SUNS!!!!!!!!!
Miss Gossip: dag fool, we did a terrible job of doing any kind of “liveblogging” of this
12:59 AM you better delete all of this
TheHype: I know… apologies readers..
if you made it this far
email me, I’ll congratulate you personally
until next time…. this has been…
1:00 AMthe Miss Gossip & TheHype Hour of Rikidiculousness in NBA Blogging
Miss Gossip: & Other Unrelatednessness!

aha ha… *ahem*… had to get my 3rd grade jokes out of my Monday system

Apparently Kwambe Brown sucks at more than playing basketball — he doesn’t know what time is it: GAME TIME! It’s a serious disease really, the Can’t-Read-Time-Properly-itis, and it affects oh so many Laker centers with horrible hair style this time of year.

Symptoms include:

— inability to catch entry passes in the low post

— complete meltdown when dunking with two hands, even when no one is remotely near you

— kicking little puppies

What you can do about it:

— consult your local shaman

— or buy a watch, I hear they’re cheap these days

If your erection lasts for more than 72 hours:

then you need to stop watching porn, like now


Just a couple things lads and lasses:

—Seth of YNYK said GOOD DAY to ye old site and upgraded himself to the SB Nation Borg where it’s all colorful and pretty: Posting and Coasting

—HoopsAddict made a slight relocale, and is now over at Booyah!

This looks to be up a while ago, so I dunno if you’ve already seen it (probably have, looking at the vid’s stats) but since I’m killing time (re: not paying attention in class) I thought I’d post it here as well (5 mins-ish):

Couple things:

  • It’s so complicated my puny brain just got fried from attempting to believe I now grasp what it takes to break down the Tri-O
  • Tex Winters is awesome.
  • I wonder who the hell that “Annie” is? ooh, my bad..
  • John Salley doesn’t really add much, very disappointed

The rest of it: Parts 2, 3, 4, 5 And Phil Jax is surprisingly (at least to me) lively and active when he does some of the demostrations. I always thought that hip of his has already made him into a fossil—who knew? Oh yeah, of course there’s a requisite shot of Jeanie Buss in part 5.


(Slap On The Butt: The Big Lead via Deadspin)

Alright hopefully I won’t miss too much as I run in the cold to get back. Check back in a bit for Spurs vs. Lakers!

Quarter Oscar Robertson (1) or what’s left of it:

— what..*gasp* what..*inhales* did…I miss…? 17-11 Spurs up with under 3. So.. I missed nothing.

— oh my, the picture I have here is totally hogging the page and making the formatting look like trash

— I better add a couple more points to manually fix it

— Hopefully this does it

— YES! Okay, back to the action: It’s nice to see Odom back. He’s getting into form with 3-4 shooting and already 7pts

— Howeva, the purple calf tights/brace? is kinda fugly. Damnit Purple should just die in sports already

Quarter Mitch Richmond (2)

— movie star sighting: Tobey McGuire… you’re killing me here Mike Breen

— the Triangle is like poetry when it’s run right: Farmer to high post Turiaf and in a split second bounce pass to the baseline cutter Bryant for the easy jam.

— Here’s my Ronny Turiaf connection as he’s on the line for 2 after a missed dunk from sick a no look pass from KB24: I went to a junior college with one baller Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes. A year later he got recruited to play with Turiaf at Gonzaga (still there). Boy even got ink on ish edit: 64 76  (p.150, if you really care) of SLAM (I remember cuz I was the only one to run right to him giggling “OMGOMGOMG” while no else remotely cared or knew)

— that picture of Duncans is REAL

To Read The Rest, Absolutely FREE, Click Here!

Coming to you LIVE FROM MONTREAL (at my friend’s little apartment with not nearly enough of a heating system for this type of weather) It’s the first ever (and probably only.. we’ll see..) NBA Sunday Live-Blogging fiasco Phenomenon!

This afternoon’s ABC double-header of PHX vs. Cavs and Spurs vs. Lakers will be sporadically live-blogged right here. Expect incites (™WNTZ) of epic proportions—or just constant reminiscing of NBC’s broadcast over the current, shitty ABC! I say sporadic because even the Wi-Fi around these parts caught the cold, we’re all on the fritz!

Anyways, if you’re watching along, by all means drop some knowledge in the comments. So come on back when it’s One On The Clickety (™Steve Nash via JMac) aka 1pm. This shall be fun.. or else.

Quarter Chauncey Billups (1)

— let’s start this mutha up.. and right off the bat word is that my buddy is threatening to kick me out at any given moment (let’s all pray it’s somewhere near halftime… of the second game.. because I do NOT want to go outside again..)

— Pussycat Dolls… get off my basketball viewage go to back to singing bad songs

— Mike Tirico and the great Hubie Brown.. hmm, Mr. Breen is busy?

— Boris “Boom Boom” Diaw hahaha, and STAT just gave ZZZzzz his 532th posterized

— so far there’ve been 3 dunks for the two teams combined… I think the word “trend” can be used here somehow… if only I knew English..

— Diaw’s rockin’ that “streak” mustachio. Yo Boom Boom, it’s only making your “Frenchness” stick out!!

— Zzzz just got #533 by guess who…

— back from capitalism intermission (also known as commercials).. and we find out that Damon Jones is mic-ed… I’m going to guess this turns out underwhelming

— omg, an ad for some new Jim Carrey movie called “The Number 23” and it looks spooky evil and shit. My only conclusion is: MICHAEL JORDAN IS JIM CARREY!

— Marcus Banks sighting! The legend is true! oh and CLE up 23-19 after a Barrrrrbosa FT

— end of 1st Quart, Banks couldn’t beat the clock a breakaway layup. Lebron leading the way with 9pts and $3243 million dollars made with me just typing this

For the rest of this mental exercise CLICKEZ ICI!

..because this just won’t write itself..

So only got half of his 81 bananas on the anniversary of his record performance last night, oh yeah, the game? they won. To some, namely TJ Simers of LATimes, a high scoring Bryant player is what’s good for the eyes, not the “distributing to open players” and “takeover when necessary” type of player:

It seems as if it would be more exciting if the greatest scorer in the game remained the greatest scorer in the game from start to finish, but everyone now seems to be in agreement the Lakers can’t win playing that way. If winning is that important to you people, OK, but it just doesn’t seem like as much fun.

At first I’m thinking: TJ, TJ… no need to do some sort of sick double-reverse psychology. Your team’s winning, as a team, without LO to boot. Isn’t that the most exciting part of all? Buut, then, as I was eating a cake in Kwame’s honor, I thought about this a bit more.he's hiding cake in his mouth, I know it

Simers makes an understanding point: the most lethal scorer of our new era is now subdued. Watching him play just isn’t the same, adrenaline wise. Sure MJ in his later years did the same, by pacing himself in individual games (as well as the season—wouldn’t it be great if we can all have that type of telescopic vision?) so that he maximizes the effort in order to get the Dubya.

Don’t get me wrong, right now, I’m enjoying how Kobe is doing Nash-esque type things (even some of his passes resemble Stevey a bit, dribbling and looking up) But I think by him doing this, he’s lost some venom that we all love and hate.

Okay, so tonight (well, in an hour…) Phoenix gets their hack at extending another streak… vs. GilZero. The only thing that’s more exciting than Arenas’ ascension this season has been the constant joy the emanates from the Suns… choosing side tonight is like choosing whether to flip a fan off or not.. let’s get the battle royale goin’ with two superb blogs: Rising Suns and BulletsForever

And I thought about this exact thing at the time as well, where that missing game of Denver should give the Suns one of those happy asterisks (as opposed to those sad and pathetic ones for baseball folks) that they were gipped a crazy winning streak. But Nasty, the eva deep one:

“It’s amazing,” he said. “But it’s not a championship.”

Steven Nash, wordsmith.

Oh yea, be sure to read the off-the-charts-SuperSaiyan-level-4 type of sarcasm by “joe” in the comment of that article.. and I thought I was a smartass..