Archive for the ‘Unrelatedness Movies’ Category

Yo what up my dawgs. Adam Silver up in this mutha. He he he, always wanted to talk in that “kidz talk”. You know who I am, the Number 2 of the NBA head office. Shit’s serious. Anyways, I was somehow looped into this internet thing… dunno what they call this… blo-gue? Well, I offer thee my thoughts on the blockbuster that is Transformers, here we go:

HEeEeeeeeeLLLLL yesssss.

Like, oh. my. god. Did you see…and the…with his big…and…holy fucktown! GIANT eff-in ROBOTS!

Okok, calm down to level 3 now… it was the shiz man. Lemme tell you, when Optimus Prime finally showed up, I think I cried. And pooped. I think I cried and pooped at the exact same time. I also I think I’m in love with someone in the movie. No, not Megan Fox, I mean, sure she’s got that weird tattoo ink thing going for her all over her bod, but no, you know who I’m talking about.

BumbleBee man.

That kid had my heart from the very beginning. I mean, (MINOR SPOILER ALERT) he helped save a kid life from loser-dom by getting his dad to purchase him, possibly the best type of life-saving, as I have been told. He puts on apropriate yet humourous 80s pop music that made the audience laugh. And best of all, he has a mask that, get this: looks like a bumblebee! How can you not love him?

Oh sure, we can go on and on about Optimus, Megatron, Starscream, but for reals yo, BB’s the man, er, robot.

As for the rest of the flick. I think it made me want to do the following things, in this order:

1) buy a GMC vehicle
2) have sex with one of the many weapons from the US military
3) randomly yell out “ree-ree-row-rit-ree” and pretend like I’m transforming into a car

So, hopefully this review helped you out. It sure made my life happier, to you Bumble Bee!

I love you