Archive for the ‘Word on the Streetz’ Category

Charles Oakley is supposed to put out a book with the usual “TELL ALL” keyword that gives book agents boners. So, with that said, from whom else would a tell-all book be appropriate? Word on the Streetz surveys:


Kelly Burns
Philosopher
“I’d like to read a book
by Kobayashi. You just
know there’s bound
to be at least one story
of him going down on
dudes.”

Lord Richard Featherbottom
Writer
“Heave ho! What’s this scocery?
How did I get trapped in this white
box?!? Release me I say!”


Charles Barkley
Former NBA player/fat guy
“There’s only one book y’all need
to read, and it’s mine! If you don’t
read it, I’ll eat you all!”










So while this Tim Douchebagnaghy news is all over the place like Britney Spears’ cellulite, some of us REAL basketball fans still love the game. Word on the Streetz asks if anyone else remember that Team USA thing:


Richard Yang
Boat Captain
“Team USA? That’s the myth
we were told when we were kids
right? Haha yeah, sure, I’ll bet
that they win just as soon as
pigs can fly an F17.


Successfully.”


Emily Veere
Part-Time Superhero
“Oh sure, I love seeing how
some guy from Greece can hit
13 threes EVEN THOUGH
IT’S THREE FEET SHORTER!!
God that’s fucking annoying.”


Lil’ Kim
Book publisher
“I think they’re being smart
this year: having more than
one token white guy out there
I mean– the other teams
just might confuse them with
their own players!”











Al-Zo just declared that he wants yet another go with the Miami Heat next season. Word on the Streetz has you covered with the pulse of the nation on this monumental happenstance:


Melissa Newman
Anthropologist
“From a scientific perspective
I can understand how Zo just
needs to convulse after every
blocked shot… I mean, it’s simple
human nature.”

Tim McGibbons
Chess Grandmaster
“It’s a good thing I think
actually. We all need to yell
at someone for the entire game
for just being a dick right?”


“The Hunter”
CIA: Classified
“Not surprising at all that
he’d return. He’s been doing
this since the late 1700s—
… I’ve said too much.”









As this … undead life of an offseason drags on, it’s pretty hard to think about the league when the season is months away. What’s the Word on the Streetz on how folks cope?


Rachel Daniels
Day care worker
“Here’s what I do: first
I dress the little kids in
Pacers and Pistons uniforms,
then, I make them fight each
other. I tear up everytime..”

Mr. Cuddles
Cute puppy
“WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!
WOOF! WOOF!”


Ricky Sanchez
Plumber
“Man, fuck that wait, it’s all
about cricket son! Muttiah
Muralitharan for lifez!!”









Yi, the 19 year old (or 25 year old—no one knows, not even Greg Oden, and he knows everything) is now notorious because of his “camp” not wanting to report for the Milwaukee Bucks, who drafted him. What is the Word on the Streetz with random folks on this hottly hot issue?


David Smith
R&B Singer
“Look, what do you
expect from Yi? His
care free; eff-the-man
utopia of a country brought
him up like this. Dude’s
a damn hippie.”

Gregory Hicks
Taebo Instructor
“My problem with him
is his cheek bones. Have
you taken a look at it
lately?! It can cut diamonds!
Blood diamonds! What you
know about that Leo
DiCaprio??”


Ray-Ray
Locksmith
“Give the boy a damn
break would’ya? It’s
quite simple: when he gets
blocked by Nate Robinson
–he needs it to be featured
in a big market so people will
make fun of him.”