Oooooooooooooh goodness. NBA refs?The mafia? The Feds? We need a movie, like… now.

July 20, 2007 — THE FBI is investigating an NBA referee who allegedly was betting on basketball games – including ones he was officiating during the past two seasons – as part of an organized-crime probe in the Big Apple, The Post has learned.

Federal agents are set to arrest the referee and a cadre of mobsters and their associates who lined their pockets, sources said.

“These are dangerous people [the referee] was involved with,” a source said.

The sources indicated the referee apparently had a gambling problem, slipped into debt and fell prey to mob thugs.

“That’s how he got himself into this predicament” by wagering with mob-connected bookies, one source said.

Yo, this can be tainted—and all those non-NBA folks out there are now armed with even more ammo to hate on the league… but dude, c’est cool! Okay, well, affecting the integrity of the game isn’t as cool, but I don’t care, something like this makes me believe that dark conspiracies around smoky bar tables full of mobsters and guns can still happen!

So WHO IS IT?? We all know Joey Crawford is a loose nut, with that Timmy D thing a while back that got him suspended, but I’m not sure UPDATE: it’s Donaghy (Do-nugh-gee? ack, he even has horrible name to pronounce to go along shotty job-integrity)

Here are your handicaps (irony isn’t lost that we’re fake-gambling on a gambling issue! hee!):

NBA in a ‘fix’ [NY Post]
crazy related: Bob Delaney Is Gangsta (ref Delaney used to be undercover fed!) [The Hype Guy]
Referees profile pics [ProBasketballRefs]

Talk about snubbery! No The Wire anywhere? Friday Night Lights got a couple nods, but nothing to do with the actors, story, or the overall show. Blasted Hollywooders! (mini-update: Dick in a Box got nominated, AHAHAHA, yes!)

As I’ve been doing this for about 365+ days or so, I must haphazardly turn this otherwise unrelated event around to include the precious NBA.

Outstanding Drama Series:
-Kobe Bryant & Lakers Mgmt.
-Mark Cuban and Don Nelson
-David Stern and “rules”

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
-Gilbert Arenas; Washington Wizards, blogger
-Stephon Marbury; New York Knicks, blogger, tv show, philanthropist, going-insane-person
-the entire Eastern Conference; making us believe there was a point in the 06-07 season

Outstanding Choreography:
-Shaq, Dwight and LeBron; All Star Practice goof-off
-Charles Barkley and Dick Bavetta; THE KISS
-Golden State Warriors Girls; behind the scenes practice (actually that segment was pretty fucking funny, kudos Sports Action Team!)

Steve Nash is a simple kid really. He enjoys sports, loves to compete and has a fascination with grunge hairstyles. He doesn’t really show off any kind of “flash” per se, only when they’re on court dishes. He’s just your everyday lad doing everyday things.

You ever wonder just how he’s able to pull it all off? Well, I have the answer: he can teleport.

There, I said it. I revealed his secret. I kind of feel dirty now… it’s like revealing a magician’s act (you know, that they actually kill the help girls, that’s why we never see them again… creepy…)

Well, via AZsportsHUB, we find out that Nashy is seemingly everywhere, AT THE EXACT SAME TIME:

    Stalking Steve Nash has never been easier. Especially due to our favorite celebrity stalking site, Gawker Stalker. Not sure how Steve is popping up in both New York City and Vancouver all in the same week, but we suppose that anything is possible!

    Steve Nash on his skateboard. He was riding along observing the street scene when I did a double take and gave him a thumbs up – he smiled and gave me a thumbs up back.

Ah, Gawker Stalker, the most reliable and credible system of Stalk if I ever saw one.

Because fuck the press release about him being in Vancouver opening his new sports facility the same week right? That’s totally fake and made up son. Or, of course, dude has time to do a frontside, fakie, 50-50 olie in NYC and then fly back to VanCity to do a silly grand opening. Simple logic.

Stalking Steve Nash [AZ Sports Hub]
Gawker Stalker [Gawker]
Steve Nash to officially open his new sports club July 19th [Press Release]

Couple neat observations for your consideration:

    where the hell did the guy come from?
    — how is it that a mountain/volcano is that high above Earth?
    — dude’s not even dunking it, he’s just chucking it downwards, that’s a 3 in my books

Oy, two posts in one day about the Miami Heat? Ugh. Oh well, we have to toughen up for this shit.

So mister D-Wade isn’t going to be back on time for training camp because the doctor has some words of sage advice:

“I’m a fast healer, but my doctor really wants to make sure I’m well and I’m healthy and we don’t have to go through this process again,” Wade said. “He’d rather for me not to rush back to get in training camp and maybe aggravate something early in the season.”

Dude plays hard every night so I don’t blame the Doctor to keep an eye on things. I guess there really isn’t a point to this post other than to photoshop Wade in Doctor Who because there’s a doctor involved in the story. And also because Doctor Who is magnificent… and also because I’m a nerd.

Wade says injury rehab going according to plan, but may not be ready by training camp [Yahoo¿]

Al-Zo just declared that he wants yet another go with the Miami Heat next season. Word on the Streetz has you covered with the pulse of the nation on this monumental happenstance:

Melissa Newman
“From a scientific perspective
I can understand how Zo just
needs to convulse after every
blocked shot… I mean, it’s simple
human nature.”

Tim McGibbons
Chess Grandmaster
“It’s a good thing I think
actually. We all need to yell
at someone for the entire game
for just being a dick right?”

“The Hunter”
CIA: Classified
“Not surprising at all that
he’d return. He’s been doing
this since the late 1700s—
… I’ve said too much.”

Things to read as you try and keep up with Jack and Meg in the wild land that is Halifax…

Photorealism Will Set You Free

Newest NBA Carnival is 非常に優秀, well done With Malice!

Blog Show has a little change up this week… ha ha ha

— No one cares other than Canadians (and maybe a couple Brits), but Conrad Black is goneth yo (now that’s how a “media baron” should look— corrupt and full of power-lust!)

— Eesh… Church giving back guilt money… just icky

— Maybe they can combine this new show with Shaq’s show? Scare the living fat outta them!

— Well, looks like FanHouse has one spot that’s vying to compete, in terms of sheer bloggers at least

Obama is a pimp, well, maybe some context will help (songs/lyrics aren’t that great, buuuut… hey ladies… I’m running for uh… um… librarian, holla at your boi!)

— and last but not least, Sam Rubenstein wants you to know that he’s Watching you … omg lookbehindyou!!!

Around the Unrelatedness, we feel there’s a need to have a sense of style and taste (we are of course typing this on a gold-encrusted keyboard while eating delicious dolphin meat). That is why we feel it is in our interest to educate the youngins out there so that we can embrace a better world in the future (where plastic forks are outlawed due to a new chapter in the Bible declaring that it is a sin to humanity! true story!)

Okay, where the hell did we go… oh yes, style and taste and all that. Sooo, we now want you to be familiar with NBAOU’s official Snobbery Watch Measuring-Thing™ (*cough* it’s a scale *double-cough*) for the NBA!

Snob Watch? Why…?
It’s basically a contrived device we thought up 5mins ago that lets us hate on someone or something about the NBA without any real justifiable reason. Thus, being a snobby bastard
To See The SWMT In Action, Click To Read On

By the Great Drums of Dave Grohl, this is one ugly baby.

The size of the baby – around 4ft 3in tall and weighing 110lb – suggests she was between six months old and a year when she died. There are no clues about the cause of death, although there were signs she had been involved in a skirmish with a predator or another mammoth.

‘The mammoth had no defects, except that its tail was bitten off,’ said Alexi Tikhonov, of the Zoological Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences, who helped carry out a preliminary examination of the creature.

‘In terms of its state of preservation, this is the world’s most valuable discovery.’

You know what else is this world’s most valuable discovery? You mom. BURN! Okay, that was fucking stupid. But I was just somewhat enthralled with recent stories of big guys and the NBA that I had to make the worst connect-the-dots type thing with a 10, 000 year old mammal.

Emerging DNA technologies have already allowed some scientists to consider resurrecting the mammoth. (Read about the resurrection debate.)

No word on whether scientists are considering resurrecting the other mammoths: Shawn Kemp, Eddie Curry, Tractor Traylor, Shaq and Antoine Walker.

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