How LeBron Got the Universe On His Side


LeBron, allowing his
armpits to shine
Well, golly gee wonkers, would you look at that. As if by magic, Roi James has now sparked a much needed excitement back into the decaying corpse of what was the 2007 Playoffs. Surely, it wasn’t his overall offensive output, at least not the traditional gauge (25, 7, 11? pfft, my imagary dog can do that), but it was just the way he hovers above the obstacle.

To be frank, he’s playing the way I’d want him to play in that given situation (this might sound absurd, but the Vince Carters of the world have caused so many wounds) by doing all the possible moves I’d prefer over moves I do not prefer.

So what was it, exactly, that allowed LBJ to capitalize on winning, as well as getting back the love of fans all over again? There must be of equal hate elsewhere in the world right?

So, I honour it by investigating the Top 5 Universe Hating That’s Helping Lebron:

#5 THE HOOPS WORLD (or 78% at least) HATES THE SPURS


“Blue Steel”

The Down-Lo

It’s not a stretch right? I mean, besides those wickedly funny dudes over at Pounding the Rock… and I guess… some people at the airport, San Antonio true love isn’t really there. Even the Flopper gets a bad grade on the Haus.

Hate Meter (1 low, 10 high)

8.3 — could be higher, but Beno Udrih is the man!

How It Helps LeBron

Setting up for a Duncan vs. LeBROWN showdown…

#4 THE MEDIA HATES ATHLETES’ LIVES

The Down-Lo

A lot of the recent “big stories” from news outlets seem to focus on the smallest things pro athletes are doing, that has nothing whatsoever to do with the sport. I’m not defending them (both athlete and media) per se, but does the public really care about it past the initial gut reaction

Hate Meter (1 low, 10 high)

9.6 — I mean, I can only care about a $xx million guy’s club activities for so long

How It Helps LeBron

Well, good thing is he’s still in the Playoffs, so no distractions for him!

#3 THE POLISH GOVERNMENT HATES THE TELETUBIES


How do I know you’re gay?

The Down-Lo

Dude, how did the headline writer get away with this? And how can I have a beer with him or her?

Hate Meter (1 low, 10 high)

7.9 — C’mon Poland, puppet homophobia?

How It Helps LeBron

Not. At. All.

#2 THIS GUY HATES TUCKING IN HIS SHIRT
#1 KOBE BRYANT HATES THE LAKERS


Kobe on the Buss of dooooooom

The Down-Lo

Kobe&
Kobe &
Kobe &
Kobe&
Kobe

Hate Meter (1 low, 10 high)

10 000 — you can hear his craving to bite off the head of anyone sporting a Lakers Official credential

How It Helps LeBron

This will be like his past, present and future all mixed nicely into one dramatic bomb which he can study and make sure never to go through

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  1. Limpshiznit

    As a diehard Pistons fan this will be viewed as “hatin” by most but…. I’m still not buying the Lebron hype. He has basically no one around him and seemingly all he can do is drive and dunk. At least Jordan looked graceful when he did it, Bron just looks like a transformer bullying his way to the hole. Game 4 actually saw his jumper on, something we don’t see 90% of the time. I do find it oddly amusing that last year Wade made it to the ring, now this year Lebron could make it at least to the Finals. Its almost like it is rigged for Sterny boy to get the young guys early props so the league can rake in those dollars again, much like Sosa and McGwire did for lagging baseball.

  2. Aha! Bron killed any hype value he had during the regular season: he was so predestrian and matter-of-fact. But, slowly but surely, he’s playing well at the right time (with Detroit just struggling to “hit” for 3 games now)

    Wade — yes, there was major beefcake there with calls last year. But I dunno, James is making sure not to be too 1 dimensional (ie just going to foul line), he passes to the best shot…

    For what it’s worth, I think Pistons will win regardless, but LeBron is putting up something finally for us to see

  3. Limpshiznit

    After tonight I might just believe the hype and the hype-guy 😛




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