Archive for the ‘Lebron James’ Category
A two hit combo for this slowth day going…
— Team USA scrimmagin where Kobe gets NASTILY blocked by LeBron and wins the game…
— annnnd… everything in the blog world about that Donaghy fellow
Actually, before we go, said fellow had to get help from cops because of calls threatening him. Unconfirmed sources say that one of the calls asked for an I. P. Freeley.
Oh and shit, check out the house of the motherfucker
That’s the O.C. house right there! Take a closer look at the sign:
Shocking!
Around the Unrelatedness, we feel there’s a need to have a sense of style and taste (we are of course typing this on a gold-encrusted keyboard while eating delicious dolphin meat). That is why we feel it is in our interest to educate the youngins out there so that we can embrace a better world in the future (where plastic forks are outlawed due to a new chapter in the Bible declaring that it is a sin to humanity! true story!)
Okay, where the hell did we go… oh yes, style and taste and all that. Sooo, we now want you to be familiar with NBAOU’s official Snobbery Watch Measuring-Thing™ (*cough* it’s a scale *double-cough*) for the NBA!
Snob Watch? Why…?
It’s basically a contrived device we thought up 5mins ago that lets us hate on someone or something about the NBA without any real justifiable reason. Thus, being a snobby bastard
To See The SWMT In Action, Click To Read On
Sure it’s inevitable that the Global Icon wants to do a rap record where I’m sure he’ll produce great hits in the with titles such as
“Microsoft Balla”
..uh, uh, call me the Ballin’ Mista,
y’all don’t want me messing wit cha
unless you wanna be upgraded like Windows Vista..
“My World, And My Nikes At My Side ft. Chris Brown”
..yo, I’m a foot soldier
y’all hear me? Check it—
I need my polyurethane bitches!
or the unforgettable
“$100 Million Hustler”
..What you know about that? No seriously, I bet you have no idea what it is to be rich. Suckers!
Now, word up the NBAOU streetz (btw thx Scrap, hadn’t thought of using that!) is that BronBron will be looking to splash the waters on Broadway! YES trust me, I make this up to be true!
It’s going to be a play called “How My Team Aren’t Going to Win Me A Championship Anytime Soon” with showstopping numbers such as “Donyell Marshall Should Be Thrown Down a Well” or “Everyone should kiss Boobies!” and how can you not cheer for the tearjerker “My wifey is preggers but eh, I make more money playing on national tv so that’s that”
And of course, Nathan Lane plays LeBron’s long lost half-brother for waaaacky hijinks!
Because of course, celebrities don’t get enough attention and publicity as it—by god Forbes is serving man kind in ranking them all! From the flash-advertisement hell that is Forbes.com, how they got to The Celebrity 100:
Tinseltown’s triumphs are reflected in this year’s Celebrity 100, Forbes’ annual list of the world’s most powerful–and best-paid–celebrities. To generate the list, Forbes analyzes celebrity earnings, plus media metrics like Google hits, press mentions as compiled by Lexis/Nexis, TV/radio mentions from Factiva and the number of times an A-lister appears on the cover of 32 major consumer magazines.
Earnings estimates are for June 2006 to June 2007 and consist of dollars earned solely from entertainment-related income. Management, agent and attorney fees have not been deducted.
Okay, so to bring it back to the NBA relatedness, the notable players we already know about are in there: Kobe Bryant (ranked #23), Shaq (#25), Michael Jordan (#35–who is he?!), and LeBron (#48). SHOCKER! You can see all the other sports’ male athletes here and female athletes here, try to contain the excitement.
Let’s just take a looksee at who else is on the list… I’ve make a nice screengrab here so you don’t have to go to their site because everytime their ads reloads a puppy gets shot
Disregarding the fact that Grey’s Anatomy fell off big time this year, what gives Forbes? Grouping the entire cast as one? Favoratism yo!
Again with this “entire cast” thing. Heh, gotta sting for Bron to see he can’t beat the Parker/Longoria machine anywhere.
Random Linkage for the Weekend:
Blog Show No. 13 [Mr. Irrelevant]
BestSportsStuff
Son of Sam Malone
Unless Moses, Zeus, Vishnu AND Abraham Lincoln all work their mystical wonder witchcraft and save the Cavaliers, there’s no way we’re having a 5th game in these NBA Finals. Such is a sad sad life. However, fear not, there just might be an inkling of chance (re: nah, just playin’) so here are the 5 Signs You Should Watch Out For Tonight, Where We Might Think There Will Be A Game 5 But Not Really, Because That Would Be Cool, And The NBA Finals Aren’t Cool, Oh Am I Still Talking, Fuck, My Bad, Here You Go:
#5: LeBron Dropping 40+ pts
Surely, I believe the correlation so far has been thus: LeBron can’t score in the field to get into a rhythm. So X plus 0.3 grams of suck = the Cavs lose. If we see a barrage of LePoints, we need to smile just a bit and think the game might be won for the City of Cleveland… only to lose yet again in Cleveland for Game 5
#4: Tim Duncan Turns Into A Werewolf And Runs Away
Timmy D has been everything he’s always been: A freakin’ Hall of Famer every minute he’s played in his life and we can’t do anything about it. What we can hope to happen is that he just leaves Game 4 out of nowhere. I don’t even care if tonight isn’t a full moon, someone do some mad science shit: turn him into a werewolf damnit—now, if someone WolfDuncan can still ball, well, we’re fucked.
#3: Drew Gooden’s Hair Patch Emerges As The Cavs Much Needed Next Go-To Man (Thing)
Obviously what’s hurting more than the Spurs choking defense is the fact that the Cavaliers are scared to make a basket. No joke, everytime they think they should score, they have instant night tremors, and they’re not even sleeping! So expect DrewPatch to step up and dunk on Fabricio tonight.
#2: Someone in the crowd takes out Eva Longoria
I’m not a violent person, per se. I’m not sexist… but sorry, having Eva/ABC infiltrate my living room everytime the Spurs are up, I turn into Jack Bauer and John McClane’s lovechild—somebody gonna get a hurt. I propose someone from the UFC, I dunno, I hear that’s thing’s the cocaine of 2007, everyone’s into it. People will be shocked that a guy knocked out Eva Longoria, but if it’s Chuck Liddell, awwww
and the #1 sign there will be a Game 5: Cavs to Win Game 4
Yeah, call me crazy, but I think if they win Game 4, they just might be able to go to Game 5. I’m crazy like that, calling out wild theories and such, people should lock me up for this type of heresy. But mark my words, if they don’t win tonight, I’ll kick every lil’ puppy I see!
…again… I dunno why I’m so violent today, I think it’s the ‘roids I had for breakfast.
Of all the series, why did this one have to be so predicable? Give us some hope, give us more than four games, c’mon, pretty please? Well, guess begging probably won’t work a darn for this Finals. It’s gonna be over on Thursday, LeSigh.
While last night’s Game 3 was much closer and saw the Cavs in an easier state of mind, defensively, with the help of the crowd, their offense just couldn’t handle the Spurs. Nothing easy… nor should it be really. That’s just the reality and level that is the Finals, this isn’t child’s play, you gotta be one hundred percent 100% of the time. Lebron and Co’ never had a real chance in this one—only imagined ones.
So perhaps, in lieu of Game 4, they should just all go out and chill somewhere… relaxing…
Okay, so I got jealous of George’s sick skillz… and I decided “hey! you’re not better than me!!!” and did the following. You be the judge and see which one of us should have gotten the QUICKEN LOANS sponsor
here is LeBron in the opening minutes of Game 2—very determined and focused! Grr!
then, he picked up his 2nd foul early in the quarter, and now just waiting and watching—still, look deep into his eyes: Determined! GRRs!
here we see LeBron yawning just a little bit… maybe he lost his GRR-ness? no need for concern, he’s gonna be back into the game any second
uhh… Bron? dude… game’s over, Mike Brown never subbed you back in even if ya only had 2 fouls… you might want to home and sleep it off…
Just got this in my electronic mail (as opposed to pigeon mail—g’damn lazy bums!)
Hi,
I thought you might be interested in a recently created LeBron James etch-a-sketch video.
George Vlosich, self-proclaimed “world’s greatest etch-a-sketch artist,” took five hours to etch LeBron James and the entire process is sped up into three pretty interesting minutes.
You can see every line George makes and step he takes to create a unique piece of pop art. I think it’s cool. By the way, if you are wondering why I’m sending you this, Quicken Loans is a sister company of the Cleveland Cavaliers and we work closely with them. We’d love it if you could share this with your blog readers.
Holy banana peels!
Ah, and no sweat Mr. Marketing person, I love to help out QUICKEN LOANS, even though I’m not getting anything out of QUICKEN LOANS. It’s fantasic that QUICKEN LOANS is doing this viral spreading-word-of-mouth-thingy (I’m sure there’s a better term for it) for the talented George Vlosich—maybe his next sketch can be drawing up better coaching strategies for Mike Brown? In any case, thanks QUICKEN LOANS for bringing this to my attention!
QUICKEN LOANS.
UPDATE: My Etch-SKILLZZZZ
Yesterday was the Spurs, behold today part 2 of our 2 part series in PROFILES OF AN NBA FINALIST.
Okay, so I really got nothing for today’s case study of the Cavaliers. They are an interesting team to say the least — only because of how they got to where they got (huh?). That’s why the only thing I came up with is LeBron here in the movie Knocked Up (which I’ve yet to see, SHUSH IT! NO SPOILERS ALLOWED!)
Hmm…
Wait, I can make a metaphor happen, yes I can:
See, LeBron’s situation is like knocking up a random chick (the random chick being the Cavs, getting them into the pregnacy that is the Finals). It’s a 7 Game mud wrestle, not unlike the 9 months of rearing a child. You’re happy to be there, for what greater joy is there? But you have to look at all the factors: how good of a parent you’ll be; can you raise the child; cost factors etc.
For the Cavs, those are: figuring out how to match up the Spurs; dealing with the applied media attention that’s now 10 fold. And throughout it all, Bron’s gotta be supportive even in harsh and painful times (like perhaps going down 0-2)
However he endures this, he must see it through, there’s no bailing now.
(NOTE: yeah, this would definitely not have worked if James’ gf isn’t really preggers… and the irony isn’t lost on me that he said he’d miss the birth of his 2nd child…)
ON COMPLETELY UNRELATED EVENTS:
Blog Show Remix! The YouTube clip is here
What do you know, the Cavaliers of all teams, are going to the NBA Finals.
How they will fare against the Spurs will be for another day, for now — I dunno quite how to accept it all.
LeBron: we know he can do this. Even though throughout the season (and I guess, his career thus far) we weren’t sure just how he’ll do it. Yes, his shear freak basketball game is as good as it gets (apologies to Kobe Bryant… but you’re doing radio shows as I type) but were we sure this was going to happen? Truly madly, deeply sure?
My answer is no. Just like Allen Iverson’s 2001 run to the Finals (even then, he was in his 6th year, with a deep cast: Larry Brown as coach, Mount Mutombo in his prime, Derek McKey (what the hell happened to him?) and E-Snow) we’re rooting for the star. But unlike AI, LeBron is doing it differently: he not only trust his teammates, he trust that his team is good, like, very good.
It’s a different feeling to watching the Cavaliers — they’re not just watching the King James Show, they’re producing, writing and editing the whole thing that Iverson, or Bryant can’t in recent years. What’s also amazing is that he’s a kid that’s dreamt big to get here, on his own shoulders, but is making sure he doesn’t ruin the whole thing with excess pride that often times shadow the goal.
Blogs that are happy: YAY!sports, Sports Rush
Blogs that are unhappy: Detroit Bad Boys, Need4Sheed
In Other News:
Steve Kerr won’t soothe us with his melodic voice no more as he’s going to be GM of the Phoenix Suns. I really like Kerr as an analyst throughout these past couple of years whether it was on TNT or Yahoo! Sports. He has a wicked sense of humour and is able to communicate effectively his point of view. Obviously sometimes he’s wrong on some things, but for the most part, Kerr is fantasic breaking down why a certain play isn’t working or what was missing. I think his insight with the Spurs will do wonders for the Suns, because they will always face them in the playoffs one way or another. Signal To Noise has more player-to-GM grading if you like to compare and contrast.
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