Archive for the ‘Utah Jazz’ Category

The Suns… I don’t think they’ll ever get to the Finals without an alien invasion taking place in America West Arena. Joe Johnson one year, Amare/Raja the next, then Amare/Diaw this year. David Stern, as great as he is, sometimes becomes so pragmatic and draconian to me. I bet he thinks the NBA offices are the Jedi temple and everything they believe in should be “the way”.

You know what happened Dave? Anakin Skywalker turning into Darth Vader because of his hatred of the restraint of the elders. Steve Nash will turn evil because of you! It’s come to making nerdy references dude.

That said, I believe they’ll pull off the upset Wednesday (well, tonight… it’s 2am of the day as I’m writing this… so…) Why? Because I’m crazy and Charles Barkley’s passionate yammering against the rule have made the situation better to me. And that makes me have faith. When the Round Mound of 300 Pounds calls out the league, all’s good in that world.

Love how Ernie used the town bell to break up the continuous, looping debate. It can’t be said enough how great Inside the NBA is.

Oh and uh… the national darlings are done. I dunno man, I wish the Warriors wouldn’t have gone out in that hot headed way (how many techs were there). But at the same time, it’s that same emotion that fuels Oakland’s surge—ripping the heart out of Dirk, literally. So it’s a push and… well, I digress.

Doug Collins, as Stephen Jackson gives Jerry Sloan a hug: “I like that.”


Man, I thought Golden State would never lose at home — that’s the contract they signed wasn’t it? Damn, I don’t want to say the Warriors are done…… but…… the Warriors are done. Sorry my dear dear Bay Area pals (you know who you are) but the Jazz aren’t Dallas Choke-vericks.

They’ve got Acne Boozer; Turtle D-Williams, Mr. Roboto #47 and Okur. The only other place you’d find that eclectic mix of culture and race in one place is during a drug deal (my frame of reference only extend to stereotypical blockbuster action films and not real life). Last night, if anything was another typical Jazz game. They kept doing their thing and got their win.

Warriors, of course, tried to keep doing their thing, just this time the shots weren’t falling. If it did, I’m sure the series would’ve been 2-2 now. But alas, such is why a dream cannot be continued.

Andrei Kirilenko, please summarize your thoughts:

“People go all crazy,” Kirilenko said. “You dunk on me, OK, next time I’m still going to try to block your shot again. “It’s a different mentality. Guys try to put their ass in your face or say something. I’m not intimidated by that stuff.”

Thank you wordsmith.
VC15, trapped in the closet (R.Kelly don’t rape sue me)

In other Playoffs news

Vincent Lamar Carter apparently had an ouchie with his vagina pinky finger in Game 3 against the Cavaliers:

Vince Carter‘s left pinkie knuckle, bruised in Game 3, was wrapped yesterday. But he said “It’s not broken, so I can play.”

Yeah? You can? GREAT. VC’s little boo-boo notwithstanding, I think the LeBrons will take this game tonight. It’s cool and all for Jason Kidd to remember he can shoot from the outside again, ditto for Jefferson getting his, but the sooner this series end, the better it will be on our souls.

In other OTHER Playoff news, the Phoenix Suns try not to fall into oblivion. What I’m saying is that if they lose tonight, and go down 3-1, it would make my NBA fandom very sad. Suns making it to the Finals this year means so much for me. It would mean that the NBA has room for all types of champion styles; it would mean that for once, I team I rooted for from beginning to end of season could go all the way; it would mean awesomeness. For all the great things D’Antoni, Nash, Marion, Stoudamire has given us, I feel it’s for nothing and another year gone of Nash’s greatness. Gawd, fucking Spurs.

Loose Change

He’s fat. And a big baby.
— Antoine Walker believes he can have his cake and eat 600 of them too!

Heat forward Antoine Walker — due $8.5 and $9.3 million the next two years — said he ”definitely” plans to speak to Pat Riley about his desire to be a starter, if he’s not traded. ”I play better as a starter. For me to be an effective player in this system, there’s a certain way you have to play. We’ve got to balance out this attack.”

Riiiight. There are 5 things wrong in that last statement. But I be classy and not joke of them. Nope. I won’t connect the obvious joke of the words “balance”; “Walker”; “can’t”; and “fat”. No sir, not here!

— And finally, a request to my Spanish readers, help me out: what’s going on in this page, and specifically, shed light on Mr. Boniface N’Dong PLEASE. That is front runner for best name in the history of the world.

Hoooooot! What a game huh. I totally agree with Chuck on Inside the NBA when he said the Jazz are amazing to watch (or something like that…) even though most of the basketball world has now been infatuated with the Golden State Warriors’ giant-killer charisma.

Here’s why I’m loving how the U.J. plays: they run their plays so surgically precise it makes Dr. McDreamy look like a freakin retard — and he’s one of the top neurosurgeons in the country (of a TV show… I know I know…)!! Awkwardly segueing from that, with sincere apologies for crassness— big ups to Derek Fisher’s strong will and heart. Hearing about his daughter… I can only imagine how stressful it must’ve been on his mind. And great of him to let others know of his personal situation so that other families don’t suffer.

So is it time to jump on the bandwagon? I say yes. Sure the one bandwagon I’m on currently is nice and comfy–that of the Dubs, but these Jazz are actually pretty fun to watch as well. AK47 and his mechanical movements (seriously, watching him dribble side to side was cracking me up, even robots emote more human characteristics) as well his S.W.A.T. Parties are a joy to witness. Boozer and his acne have such amazing lowpost moves. Memo and his wife, AND his 3pt shot already had me a long time ago, but it’s worth repeating that the man is clutch. MEMO 4 MVP!

As for the WARRIARz! Man, that’s just how the cookie crumbles eh. They had that game, but watching the game, you could tell the Jazz weren’t letting it go, almost like the win was theirs in the first place. I’m loving how the crowd looks so uniform now, all wearing powder blue, very NCAA feel and it really brings up the atmosphere, even as I was watching it from TV.

I’m loving these Playoffs so far, and to quoth my pasty sharp shooter turned superhero analyst Steve Kerr:

Last thing, I swear. Let’s give the NBA’s rules committee its due because the rules changes from the past four or five years have dramatically improved the quality of the game. No more wrestling and holding. No more walking the ball up and isolating players on one side of the floor. No more 7-foot stiffs who can’t play but who can clog the lane. The game is great right now, and the league deserves a lot of credit for that.

Here here. I would say next on the list is making the crowds turn into European-like crazies. I mean, GState is halfway there, but I want to see giant flags and a theme song that the crowd can break out any moment! Who’s with me??

May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:


*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*

[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*—click—phone picked up]

uh… he… hello?


um… KG, that you…?

Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.

[off to the side] I know.

Listen to me, it’s not your fault.

[serious] I know.

No you don’t, it’s not your fault.

Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.


I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?

Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.

This is going to be like the 4th straight post I’ve at least mentioned Memo Okur, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. In lieu of yesterday’s announcement of his All-Star joinage, and after thinking long and hard about this: I’m starting an MVP campaign for Okur… surely Boozer deserves more consideration, but eff-that, I’m not going by that logic. Check it—

And if you want to join this campaign of epic proportions, please show it off to the world by wearing it all over your bodies over at the new Hype Store: Gears of Clothing

Here are a few examples, but there are a ton of other colors to select from. Be sure to check back from time to time up on the new tab next to the Toons called “!Shirts!” to see new ish!

I’m also happy to spotlight a new shirt that a certain someone has been bugging kindly helping me out with a special request (kinda Need4Sheed-esque, but I totally didn’t intend for that to happen, love Natalie’s stuff though!):

Also, not very NBA related, but because this is pretty much me most of the time:

There are also two designs transferred from the old CafePress store that some of you may remember as well. Don’t worry, that ol’ CafePress baby of a store will be up forever, if anything, to commemorate one of the bigger events of this blog (yes yes, you’ve all seen it a lot by now… sorry! I’m working on making a shirt and getting it to Chaka Khan soon!)

So yeah, go check out the some of the new stock over at The GoC!

Breaking news (not that I’m doing anything breaking.. or news-ing..):

From the glorious Temples Of

LAS VEGAS, February 13, 2007 – Ray Allen of the Seattle SuperSonics and Mehmet Okur of the Utah Jazz have been named by NBA Commissioner David Stern as a replacements for injured West All-Stars Allen Iverson (ankle) of the Denver Nuggets and Steve Nash (shoulder) of the Phoenix Suns for the 2007 NBA All-Star Game on Sunday, February 18 in Las Vegas. Chris Paul of the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets will replace Nash in the Playstation Skills Challenge.

The PlayStation Skills Challenge will be televised live nationally as part of the NBA All-Star Saturday Night, which will also feature the Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout, Sprite Rising Stars Slam Dunk and Haier Shooting Stars. TNT and ESPN Radio’s national coverage will begin at 8 p.m. EST from the Thomas & Mack Center. The NBA All-Star Game on Sunday, Feb. 18, will air live on TNT, ESPN Radio and in more than 200 countries and territories worldwide.

Hah, that’s the entire press release, don’t even click on the link! Oh and ya ya, congrats to Jesus Shuttleworth as well. Just like I drew it up (‘pun’ shamelessly intended)! I should anoint more Official Unrelatedness Player of The Year I’m so good (you hear that Iggy? step up cous!) So it’s all good Seth, we can watch again, and the West will win! EDIT: beat me by a mile… and a continent (*cries in bed*)

To mark this is freaking awesome occasion, I have something fun coming, check back tomolo! It’s way better than all that Amaechi/Anna Nicole Smith/Obama silly “news” going on!

PS: The newest, hottest, flyest mixtape to date: TrueHoop – from Henry Abbott feat. ESPN yaaaa it’s a banger!


For some unfathomable reason, Mehmet Okur shall be The Unrelatedess Official Player of the 06-07 Season. The man hits game clinching 3s like he’s at a piñata festival. Don’t believe me? Take Skeets word for it on today’s Fix: “I’m telling ya, he’s the most underrated clutch player in the game” As well, he looks goofy enough for this type of deal.

Speaking of the Jones, their 100th ep is coming up and wow that’s freakin sick. The Big 1-Hundy. Congrats dudes.

Oh and Yahoo!Sports!NBA! has a redesign. It looks like circa 2002. Oh my sweet sweet innocent YahooSports…

Psst! I’m over here! Filling in for the Pradamaster over at Bullets Forever for the next couple of days. I’m not sure how this transpired either, but rest assured that I’ll be eroding the whole SportsBloggerNation from the inside mwhahaha! Spreading shit like GoldenStateOfMind got Sactown Royalty pregnant. I be causin’ all sorts of havoc and whatnot. Yeah!

So I was half watching the Utah-Sixers game, because it’s the only game I got last night. This juggernaut battle of epic proportions was so thrilling, I had to pinch myself from falling asleep. It was THAT exciting.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the precision, grinding styles of the Spurs and Pistons. In their own way, it’s because of their so-called “boring styles” (given by pedestrian fans), that I love watching the way they execute plays. It’s what defines their greatness—the personality of just being mentally tougher than you.

The Jazzies however, have no personality. They run their sets perfectly, but I can’t seem to like them. For now, they exude the dreaded label of being just “very good”.

It could’ve been the fact that they were playing the bloody Sixers and maybe because like I said that’s my only Jazzies game. But nay, if I say they are as unattractive a team as as Sam the dog, then so shall it be spoketh unto the peoples of the world (and so on and so on).


Heh, that’s supposed to be Nick Collison, I guess the color I used was little too dark? Let’s just say he’s uh..Rashard Lewis?

The Northwest Division wraps up with a couple subperb previews:

One from the very awesome Henry Abbott of True Hoop being VERY realistic about his Portland Trailblazers.
Then SonicsCentral feels their club is on their way back to the 04-05 shape.

And finally, I think the best/funniest preview yet: from’s bro (though Jason should get endless kudos for coming up with in the first place!) comes the Utah Jazz outlook. Go take a gander, did I mention it was funny?