Archive for the ‘NBA TOONS’ Category


kevindurant.jpgSo it’s Friday and everyone is partying their ears off probably. Me, I’m going to go to dim sum with a couple pals and then … that’s about it … um, I might go crazy and binge on raspberries… yeah, raspberries, what up.

But all is not lost, somehow, the lords over at decided to bless us with live broadcast of all the Summer League games. Tonight has a couple good looking games, Seattle plays at 6pm and Portland goes up at 10pm where we can see some Durant and Oden action. So perhaps I might update here and there with some thoughts on the games as it happens (or not, I might have raspberries overdose)

So if you’re also like me, renouncing Friday nightlife, shout off in the comments here during or after the games with uh.. comments. Everyone else: have a nice weekend, try not to stab any hoboes.

Vegas Summer League Schedule []

grant.jpgQue? ooooh it’s P-H-X … errm … oops. But I’m gonna call you a liar if you say you never thought of Sphinx whenever you see PHX.


Well, looks like now the Suns have that imaginary fairy godmother called Leadership in the LockerRoom with Grant Hill (sidebar: Leadership in the LockerRoom will be my new air guitar band’s name — in the gangsta tunez of Air Supply bitches) as he signed onto filthy pity loose change in $1.8 million.

Can Hill be the Robert Horry to the Suns? And how sad is it that Horry is, at this very moment, a far better player than Grant Hill? He creates good mid-range off the dribble shots, a concept Phoenix liken to witchcraft. He plays more or less good defense (again, Suns go “what now?”) in an era where his synthetic ankle is better at staying in front of his man than any of the rookies coming in.

So, hell yeah, I think he’s gonna be not only good for the Suns, but make a ton of difference during those lulls where the 3s don’t feel like dropping and Nash get trapped hard away from the give and gos.

PS, the pictoral representation is pretty much how I remember Grant Hill’s true game even after all these Orlando Magic years, namely, that damn Sprite commercial.


All three of them are vegans! (get it? Common… the artist… aha aha ha… ha… *slams head on table in shame for sad sad joke*)

ANYhow, via AZsportsHUB, I see that the Phoenix Suns best defender/best shaven head dude is a veggie-ian. I believe I heard of this story a while back from SteinzBogz where Dan found out that Rah Rah considers cheese off limits — but not on pizzas. (and hey, lookie who commented on that post!)

What’s MORE interesting, is the list of the SEXY VEGETARIAN CELEBRITIES found here on where you can actually vote for your fav people to be all sexy while they eat their celery.

Color me surprised, not only KRS-One, KZA are on the list, but Q-Tip?? Man, GoVeg folks, way to vet the list. Oh and Salim Stoudamire is a celebrity? Maybe to Unsilent Majority, but um, I don’t think Carrie Underwood is worried about her top spot.

Ah, and why the hell not, a nice sexy pic of last year’s miss sexy vegan Ms. Kristen Bell aka girl of Hype’s dreams *(small voice) you’ll always be Veronica Mars to me (/small & creepy voice)*

Thanks Matthew for the tipzzzz!

Hola! I’m Miss Gossip. You may remember me from such classic Hype cameos as “Holy shit type of cool right there” and “You better delete all of this” or from the now-defunct blog SunsGossip or the still-funct blog NBA FanHouse. Anyways, I got a collect call from your regular guy TheHype and he was all “duuude I’m on vacation, can you fill in for me on the glob?” and I’m like “naw man, go somewhere else for your crazy because I’m all out of stock here,” and then he’s all “DAMMIT WOMAN THIS IS MY ONLY PHONE CALL!!!”

Hype in drunk tank

So here I am. Gossip storytime YAY!!!!

Ok, so last night I’m at the Phoenix Mercury game watching my gals get beat up by the Minnesota Timbercats and who pops up on the jumbotron but the one and only BORIS DIAW!! That’s Boris Diaw of Boom Boom T-shirt and Free Boom Boom TNT fame!!

Diaw jumbotron
Every breath you take… every move you make…

Holy wow. If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written you know that this was a big deal. I can’t even explain my reaction to seeing him, but it went something like this:

gossip time series

How cute that he was coming to a see his home WNBA team play? And not just to eyeball Ann Strother like last year (she got traded to the Indiana Fevers). Kind of makes up for some of his misogynistic tendencies.

Anyway, I quickly spotted him courtside (how did I miss him before???). He was sitting with two white girls and a rather large gentleman who appeared to be a bodyguard.

Boris and his bodyguard

For real, Blood? A bodyguard? I mean, I guess you never know who you’ll end up tangling with at a WNBA game on a Tuesday night. But hey, mad props for rolling with two women at once.

Of course, I was determined to talk to him … again … (first time went like this, second time like this). Well, in the fourth quarter the Mercury do this thing called the Mercury Train where they let all the little kids storm the court during a timeout. I figured if I got on the court with the kids, then I could just run over to Boris courtside and say whassup.

The timeout came and I got all set to hatch my crack plan… BUT I was sitting in a lux box, so I would have had to walk all the way around the suite level to get to the stairs to get down to the court. There was no way I would make it in time…… UNLESS…… I looked over the edge of the box and no one was sitting in the seats below… so…… I figured I would just JUMP OUT OF THE BOX.

It wasn’t that far down, I knew I could do it……

But alas, I was sitting with some attorneys from my firm so I was forced to play it cool. BOOOOOO. Oh well, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten nabbed by arena security anyway.

By the way, Charles Barkley was also sitting courtside, all by his lonesome. I can’t believe I didn’t get to talk to Boom Boom OR the Chuckster. WACK.

Barkley at the clubbbb

Oops, totally wrong picture of Sir Charles.

Stalking Mission #3: FAILED.

Oh well, thanks for reading Miss Gossip Storytime, kids! Wow, I was totally buzzed at the beginning of this post. My bad.

And it’s a doodle… and it’s over here at Das Haus. Enjoy.

I knew that Miss Gossip Cameo tag wasn’t just a one hit wonder! Damn, that is holy shit! type of cool right there. Gossip, you killin it!

SunsGossip [SunsGossip] (where I snagged that wonderous, life-like self portrait of G.)
FanHouse’s Miss Gossip Invades TNT Broadcast
[NBA Haus] (where I… well, wrote that post ha!)
Boom Boom Diaw! [TheHype Gears of Clothing Store]


This could use a little background info.

Background. Info.

yin-yang2.jpgThe mystical Miss Gossip (aka SunsGossip aka Boris Diaw Stalker #37) and I decided to do a “live blog” game-notes of sorts for last night’s game. To see the devastating results of two people with wi-fi laptops and tons of free time, I invite you to soldier on below. Be warned, the surplus of facial hair/lookalike commentary may cause radiation after consumption……

10:41 PMMiss Gossip: Who are you rooting for?????

10:41 PMTheHype: like duh, you even have to ask?

Hubie Brown.



10:42 PMMiss Gossip: wait I wasn’t ready
do it again

TheHype: NOW!
10:43 PMMiss Gossip: Ummm I have Nate Jones in another chat window. I don’t know if I can deal with his Lakerism.
Much love, Nate.
TheHype: BLOCK HIM!!! hahah kidding
10:44 PM 2-2, Amare with a travel… you know, I feel he freaking travels every single time, but glad they don’t call it…
10:45 PMMiss Gossip: Boris travels all the time
It’s a French thing
10:46 PMwait, Ronny started??
TheHype: I can’t wait until he dances
always my favorite part of the game
LUKE WITH A KISS TO BRITNEY!!! i mean.. a 3..
10:47 PMMiss Gossip: you’re actually, like, calling game action
I guess I’m supposed to be the color commentator
10:47 PMTheHype: ba da ching!
Okay, so Hausers across the board last night blew the predictions.. let’s make it up tonight

Miss Gossip: NOT ME
10:49 PMI was right on. picked the winner and the fact that Turiaf got a TNT Flight of the Night
TheHype: LIES

10:50 PMMiss Gossip: GO CHECK THE POST FOOL!
10:51 PMTheHype: uh, you said “L.A.”, based on that, you should’ve been disqualified XD
10:52 PM okay, technicalities aside, back to da game 15-14 Fakers up!!??!?
Miss Gossip: Relax
They’re gonna get tired.
10:53 PMTuriaf is already slowing down
10:55 PMMiss Gossip: Live look-in….. Warriors are up (yay!) Clippers are up (uh-oh!).
10:56 PMTheHype: So I know Dub Nation is crazy, what are YOU willing to do for them to make it to the postseason? (nothing PG13, I want RAW ish)
10:57 PMMiss Gossip: ummmm something that will actually help? Like hitting Sam Cassell in the knees with a tire-iron?
TheHype: That is HOT
10:58 PMMiss Gossip: YAYYYY Boris!
He plays better when he comes off the bench.
It’s a French thing.
TheHype: It’s an elf thing
10:59 PMMiss Gossip: boooooooooooooo Hype mean!
11:05 PMwhat’s your point total for KB tonighte?
TheHype: 388 points
Miss Gossip: naw
I think that’s a little high.
TheHype: oh.. you’re right.. definitely not 50+
11:06 PM33 pts, and 3 assists… what you got for Nash?
Miss Gossip: wait, I don’t get to pick for Kobe too?
TheHype: Denied!
Okay okay fine.. shoot
11:07 PMMiss Gossip: Kobe…. 47 points. 0.5 assists.
TheHype: Ooh, so an off the glass jam eh? NICE
Miss Gossip: exactly.
11:08 PM Nash: 29 points, 13 assists. The 13 is for today’s lucky Friday the 13th.
11:09 PM DAG! Golden State straight ran away with this while I blinked, up by 20.
11:10 PMTheHype: Whaaaa?! I’m calling shananigans
Ron Artest probably took half the Kings squad with him to a club at the end of 1st
11:11 PMMiss Gossip: mmmhmmm
Bynum looks a little bit like the guy from Scrubs/Clueless.

TheHype: dude, I love Scrubs
Donald Faison, what up!
11:12 PM I think.. and this is weird.. he looks like…. Ashanti…
11:13 PMMiss Gossip: I’d have to see a picture. But I’ll take your word for it.
Jordan Farmar kind of looks like that guy who plays for the D-Fenders.
11:14 PMTheHype: Yeah eh! I hear he got scooped up by the Lakers
maybe Farmar might’ve ran into him?
Miss Gossip: wait, they’re BOTH playing for the Lakers now?!!!

11:16 PMTheHype: Maybe Henry Abbott can play for them at halftime?
the blogging skills can FINALLY pay off
11:19 PM 35 – 35 , 7 of 8 shooting for Nash, I really think he has magical powers
11:26 PM I would love to see this game played for 48 minutes with NO fouls, timeouts, or breaks between periods. Just run and shoot for 48 minutes straight.
except take a timeout right now because I have to pee.

11:27 PMTheHype: That? Is Don Nelson’s wet dream… the 48 minutes straight thing, not the.. uh.. other thing..
Miss Gossip: although this game is kinda low-scoring so far
TheHype: Where’s the Gorilla to hype up the match when you need him??
11:28 PMMiss Gossip: here he is!
11:31 PMTheHype: 46-44 Rah Rah with a three! Btw, you believe that stuff about Raja and Kobe being “civil” to each other now?
11:32 PM I think they secretly go out on movie nights between games….
it’s all an act….

11:33 PMMiss Gossip: you think they’re, like dating?
wait, does Amare have an equals sign shaved into his hair?

or is that just a bad haircut
TheHype: questions questions questions…
11:34 PM (okay, break time… gotta get a drink!)
Miss Gossip: grab one for me too, please
11:35 PM make it a double.
11:55 PMMiss Gossip: you want me to look for some pics of the Scrubs guy during timeouts?
TheHype: psshh, I have him on my desktop wallpaper!

11:56 PM wait.. that..’s not weird right?
Miss Gossip: hahahahaha
ummm is he nekkid?
DAMN the Suns can’t hit their alley-oops tonight.
11:58 PMTheHype: 57 – 53 Suns… llaaaamme late call
11:59 PMMiss Gossip: that was a funny story about Turiaf, I saw that chest-pound thing
I think that was Tim Thomas that hit him in the chest
Tim Thomas, always up to something
we’re onto you Tim
12:00 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha
ewww did he just say James Jones can’t “break the seal”?

12:01 AMTheHype: awk-ward
12:08 AMTheHype: 103-93 Dubs.. close game now?
12:09 AMMiss Gossip:I’m keeping my eye on it.
I got two TVs and a desktop computer (in addition to this laptop I’m typing on). Three games at a time
12:10 AMTheHype: oh yea?? well.. I have.. a cup of water in my right hand.. THERE
mike_dantoni.jpg12:11 AM NICE hustle Boris!
Miss Gossip: He pissed PJ off!!!
TheHype: It’s a French thing
12:12 AMMiss Gossip: oui oui.
12:16 AMTheHype: I think D’Antoni, even as he’s very angered with the ref calls, rocks a bitchin’ moustache
12:17 AMMiss Gossip: oh hellz yeah
12:21 AM well shit, maybe it’s ok if the Clips win then, just let the Lakers keep losing. WARRIORS IN THE PLAYOFFZ!
12:22 AMTheHype: That is crazy, not over a month ago Nellie was all like … ‘blah blah, not making playoffs, blah blah I’m old and moody, blah blah blah’
12:23 AMMiss Gossip: hahaha it was all just a HEAD GAME he was playing on his boys!
TheHype: one questions though, will B-Diddy EVER shave that beard
12:24 AM that thing is massive!
Miss Gossip: DUDE
barondavis.jpgit’s a playoff beard
he can’t shave until they’re out.
TheHype: I think there’s like a pack of wolves living in there
12:25 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha

12:26 AMTheHype: touché
12:29 AM Woah, Vuja..Vuya…Vuajkajkcjich is making this a game??
12:30 AMMiss Gossip: nah
don’t be fooled young Hype.
TheHype: you must teach me the Ways, Jedi Master
12:33 AMMiss Gossip: oh shit
not now
Lakers are about to make a move
TheHype: 76-71, grrr we haven’t had a monster STAT jam
Miss Gossip: just had a monster STAT missed jam.
hey! there was Go the Gorilla, did you see him?
12:34 AMTheHype: damnit, I missed it, he’s an elusive one… always trying to woo a young lady/gorilla
12:35 AM Luke Walton dipped his head in a bucket of water or what
Miss Gossip: yeah I think so
lukewalton.jpg12:36 AM he does it to get that cool glistening look
they teach you tricks like that in the soap operas.
12:38 AMTheHype: I’m totally using that next time I go out — LADIES…
12:40 AM off topic (—> picture): hornets-cheerleader.jpgjust breaks my heart…
12:41 AMMiss Gossip: HA!!! I saw that chick on TV when I was watching that game.
12:42 AM awww don’t worry OKC — you’ll get the Sonics soon enough, trust me.
shit I should be a little more worried about this game.
12:43 AMTheHype: just a “little”, ugh! missing the gimmes
Miss Gossip: fuck!
tjree [pint game
*three point game
just kidding
Nash came through.
12:44 AMTheHype: Luke, take your glistening hair outta here!
12:45 AMMiss Gossip: Love that Nash jump-fake pass
12:50 AMTheHype: eep, finish them Sun-ers!
Miss Gossip:shot clock!
12:52 AMTheHype: slice up the tomatoes and put some bacons on this sub, this game’s DONE
(that better have made sense somewhere in this world)
12:53 AMMiss Gossip: I don’t know
it’s not over yet….
TheHype: ye of little faith
12:54 AMMiss Gossip: nooooooooooo I have faith
I’m just saying.
TheHype: How does Raja keep his dome so fresh?
12:55 AM
and I realize i’ve been VERY keen on hair styles this conversation…
it’s not the norm.. I ASSURE you
Miss Gossip: duuuude he has a personal barber
the same guy that does Puffy’s hair.
12:57 AMTheHype: Scandalous!
Miss Gossip: SUNS!!!!!!!!!
Miss Gossip: dag fool, we did a terrible job of doing any kind of “liveblogging” of this
12:59 AM you better delete all of this
TheHype: I know… apologies readers..
if you made it this far
email me, I’ll congratulate you personally
until next time…. this has been…
1:00 AMthe Miss Gossip & TheHype Hour of Rikidiculousness in NBA Blogging
Miss Gossip: & Other Unrelatednessness!