Archive for the ‘Shaq’ Category

Because of course, celebrities don’t get enough attention and publicity as it—by god Forbes is serving man kind in ranking them all! From the flash-advertisement hell that is, how they got to The Celebrity 100:

Tinseltown’s triumphs are reflected in this year’s Celebrity 100, Forbes’ annual list of the world’s most powerful–and best-paid–celebrities. To generate the list, Forbes analyzes celebrity earnings, plus media metrics like Google hits, press mentions as compiled by Lexis/Nexis, TV/radio mentions from Factiva and the number of times an A-lister appears on the cover of 32 major consumer magazines.

Earnings estimates are for June 2006 to June 2007 and consist of dollars earned solely from entertainment-related income. Management, agent and attorney fees have not been deducted.

Okay, so to bring it back to the NBA relatedness, the notable players we already know about are in there: Kobe Bryant (ranked #23), Shaq (#25), Michael Jordan (#35–who is he?!), and LeBron (#48). SHOCKER! You can see all the other sports’ male athletes here and female athletes here, try to contain the excitement.

Let’s just take a looksee at who else is on the list… I’ve make a nice screengrab here so you don’t have to go to their site because everytime their ads reloads a puppy gets shot

Disregarding the fact that Grey’s Anatomy fell off big time this year, what gives Forbes? Grouping the entire cast as one? Favoratism yo!

Again with this “entire cast” thing. Heh, gotta sting for Bron to see he can’t beat the Parker/Longoria machine anywhere.

Random Linkage for the Weekend:
Blog Show No. 13 [Mr. Irrelevant]
Son of Sam Malone

“We’ll run off and be happy together forever!”

Speaking of Shaq, here is Shaq’s “top ten quotes” as put together by our TSN channel, though it’s nothing you haven’t seen yet. Where’s “don’t ask dumb questions young lady?”

Some lovely photos of Shaq plotting his takeover of China:

See, it’s not just America that never had a black president, China never had a black emperor.. so think about that [/end somewhat politically incorrect joke]

There’s not that much noodling in Shaq’s mind other than the obvious things.

Finally, a bit Tarantino-esque. Btw, that’s not the actual English translation of what’s written in Chinese.. so whoever gets the real translation, gets a biiiiiig big prize from this blog. Hint (for the prize, not the translation): it has something to do with my hands, forcing them together.. and outputing sound, thus creating an ‘appreciative’ gesture.

And for the hell of it, since the picture was somewhat in the position of mockery:


I feel bad for picking on Clifford.. he seems like nice enough guy.. but that IS a huge doubie.


Hmm.. not how I wanted the drawing to come out.. hey, I’m just an amateur doodler, trying it out for the first time so it’s bound to look (for lack of a better term,) “bad” now and again.

But anyways, that’s how I imagine things will go down this 25th of December. I’m not against the idea of having the Shaq/Kobe duel again for the 3rd year in a row. It feels like a nouveaux tradition the NBA desperately needs to instill into ABC (since y’know, they can’t even come up with the tradition of, oh I don’t know, BEING GOOD AT BROADCASTING)

In other news: Team USA looks great with that easy scrimmage against Puerto Rico. When the teams shook hands (in that vid), I totally forgot that Carlos Arroyo and Dwight Howard were teammates! Though it looks like the team doesn’t need any more motivation, but I’m sure if they watched this, it might pump them up before every match of the tournament.

By the way, I consider that one sick play to be a microcosm of how humiliated the team was during the ’04 Games.

Unrelatedness of the Day:
My new favourite artist/album is Rhymefest and his debut “Blue Collar”. Finally a whole cd that I can listen to without having to hear rims/pimpjuice et al. There’s certainly some Common-vibe in there, seeing that he’s also from Chi-Town but on the whole his lyrics are tight. All the songs on it are worth listening to more than once and Kanye adds his solid beats there too. And funny cameo by ODB too.

(1:10am) (is it bad that I care more about the prints..?)NBA Trophy

Yes yes yes! I don't have to worry about fucking up my final exam due to thinking about Game 7, I'll be able to that all on my own!

But I gotta get right into it. Though it bothers me that in my lifetime, the likes of Antoine "Shimmy, even on the floor" Walker; Gary "too old to guard his own shadow" Payton and Alonzo "I have biceps" Mourning got rings. Oh woe-is-me. Whatever the hell though, because Dwyane Wade blows all that crap out of the water. As well, an added bonus with Shaq getting his 4th has got to make Kobe/Phil Jackson/Jerry Buss a bit angry; and if they're pissed, that makes ME happy.

I feel for the Mavs, I feel for Dirk and I feel for Avery. Dirk DID NOT TOUCH Wade at all. Wade introduced his foreman to Dirk's gut is all that happened. But you just knew something wasn't right for the Mavs if Marquis Daniel was lighting it up…sort of like fool's gold. And with the early carelessness from Dwyane probably gave the Mav diehards a harder pill to swallow as they let those opportunities slide.

This may be the only Finals appearence for the Heat for a while (because honestly? Shaq, Gary, Zo all add up more years than the Supreme Court Judges) but it had all the illustrious details waiting to be etched into the history books: Shaq's 4th; Riles' 5th; Gary, Zo', Antoine, JWill, Posey, Shandon Anderson getting burns. All around good stuff (that is until you remember Stan Van Grumpy). Still, an amazing finish–though a bit abrupt if you ask me (I'm glad you didn't), but I rather have this than a timid anti-climatic possible blowout.

I need sleep…
Note: I didn't copy Basketball Jones' line for this title if someone's thinking… I guess us ball junkies are bound to think alike from time to time.. :p


Dr. Stackhouse

I'm just about 2 days late with the "big news" and I guess all the rhetoric about the sketchy situation has pretty much been covered by "real news people". And it from the gut-standpoint (thank you Mr. Stephen Colbert) it wasn't malicious, though excessive (thus flagrant 1). But especially how Shaq and Stack made up afterwards it doesn't seem like it warrants a FULL GAME suspension for GAME 5 of the NBA Finals!

But Washington Post writer Mike Wise says the Mavs' coach whines too much:

For Johnson to go off on the league's alleged inconsistency smacks of hypocrisy. This new, no-contact NBA, in which every hand check is whistled, is the reason why a lithe, quick and skilled team such as Dallas got to the Finals. Players such as San Antonio's Bruce Bowen cannot play as aggressively on the perimeter as they once did, which enables offensive-minded guards and forwards to get the space they need to release jump shots they never could get off before — players such as the Mavericks' Jason Terry, Josh Howard and Dirk Nowitzki. You can't have it both ways.

I agree the fluidity of the game today is in large part due to the rule changes thus allowing fun teams like Dallas and Pheonix being able to trive in the playoffs. But that doesn't mean when the NBA Offices does something head-scratching that you don't/shouldn't argue about it. Coach Johnson isn't just going to fold like a beeeyotch, recognize. So YOU shut up Mike Wise.

Meanwhile, Riles is playing the "well it happened to us too before, so boo whoo" card:

"It was academic, based on precedent," Heat coach Pat Riley said of Stackhouse's suspension. "All you have to do is look at the James Posey hit in Chicago. … That's precedent. If, in fact, you know the league sort of deems that as excessive, then (you know) they're going to suspend you."

I thought the Mavs were going to win the series even though it's tied 2-2, but losing Stack makes the whole thing uneven you know? I want the Finals to be competitive, and it already is, no need to add fake drama when the real thing is just as good.


Believe it or not, [my children] don't really care too much about me, the basketball player. They refer to me as, "Dog Man" in the house.
[–Shaq, when asked what his kids think of him playing in the Finals.. and he's apparently a canine now..]

Unrelatedness of the Day

Jessica Alba? Jessica Simpson? or Jessica Biel? Personally, if there ever was a Bhudda, I would enjoy the company of all three. But currently Alba seems like the cutest, funniest personality of those three without being torn to shreds by the tabloids. Abla wins.

Dwyane I don't actually have any problems with comparing contemporary players to the great ones because seriously, it's inevitable and comes down hard like an anvil. There's no escaping the go-to clip of Jordan's Game 5 heroics whenever a player is reported with anything remotely close to a cough (When's that flu going away for Wade?). There's no escaping the reminder of Willis Reed if one of your main players gets injured but decides to limb and play (Raja Bell and/or Wade again).

So really, the only solution would be if you were to come up with some CRAZYass new development and be able to put up 35+pts and win the game for a whole new generation of "[blank] is playing just like when [blank did this]"

Some suggestions:

  • Be the first to go temporarily blind and play on pure instinct
  • Be the first to go temporarily deaf and play on pure instinct
  • Be the first to lose a deadly game of Capture the Flag on XBox Live's Halo and still shake it off to pull out the win for your team
  • Be able to hunt down both the Aliens AND Predators pregame and not let the guilt overcome you as you fight for your season

So yea, who knows, aren't those things what makes up the true heart of a champion? Hint: I think so.

Prediction for Game 4: 89-88 Heat Wins; Shaq gets 30 (pleeease?) and Wade returns with a modest 25. (For the record, there's no doubt that I believe Mavericks will win–in 6 is my guess, but I feel the Heat still have something to show for, can't wait for tonight).


"My highest emotional moment hasn't happened yet." "Not yet"
[DWade, asked if Game 3 was..uhh, his highest emotional moment]

The Miami Herald delves into the philosophy of fear and confi-*yawn*…

Dallas Mavericks collectively has short term memory loss, in that they quickly forget the results of prior games — gotta get that checked out soon.

Sorry, I needed to make my "exaggeration of the millennium" statement since I've been putting it off for quite some time. This shocking exposé from the AP concludes that Shaq can't shoot free throws:

"You know, we still have many opportunities to win a game and we're still here," O'Neal said. "So, you know, I'm seeing people that shoot 89 percent and don't make the ones that they are supposed to make. I've just got to basically make the ones that I'm supposed to make, and I will. It's not a problem."

[–Shaq just dissing Nash, Billups and Cassell at the same time!! (..well, my intrepretation…)]

The article mentions that guards are generally better FT shooters than centers (ya think?) but right away my instant thought goes to Vlade Divac and Arvydas Sabonis. Both were battling Shaq for center supremacy several years ago but they were both SOLID free throw guys; career 70% and 79% respectively.

Anyways, that brings us to this week's Doodling Installment:shaqpanel11.jpg