Archive for the ‘NBA Live Blogging’ Category

kevindurant.jpgSo it’s Friday and everyone is partying their ears off probably. Me, I’m going to go to dim sum with a couple pals and then … that’s about it … um, I might go crazy and binge on raspberries… yeah, raspberries, what up.

But all is not lost, somehow, the lords over at decided to bless us with live broadcast of all the Summer League games. Tonight has a couple good looking games, Seattle plays at 6pm and Portland goes up at 10pm where we can see some Durant and Oden action. So perhaps I might update here and there with some thoughts on the games as it happens (or not, I might have raspberries overdose)

So if you’re also like me, renouncing Friday nightlife, shout off in the comments here during or after the games with uh.. comments. Everyone else: have a nice weekend, try not to stab any hoboes.

Vegas Summer League Schedule []

Ughhh.. Hungover-ness… here be she Drunk-Live-Blog (tons of shit gutted out and edited for ease to read… and all around health issues)

Once again with the lovely Miss G bringing the funny and Hype G bringing the.. well, something… sorry for the lack of formatting like last time… was… a… little… busy… doing… “things”

7:44 PM Miss Gossip: DAMMIT

missed the #1

TheHype: don’t worry, NOTHING HAPPENED

7:46 PM TheHype: “he has a crush on Beyonce”

Miss Gossip: awwwwwwww

statutory rape

TheHype: B? or Jay-Z?

7:47 PM Miss Gossip: ewww what???

Miss Gossip: who’s going for ATL?

TheHype: Yi

my Chinese ancestors are calling it

Miss Gossip: love Horford’s dad. shout out to all my Dominicans!

7:51 PM TheHype: whoop whoop

7:52 PM Miss Gossip: oh man

too fast

time to pour a drink

what you drinking on?

7:53 PM TheHype: JD and coke

Miss Gossip: NICE

TheHype: what’s your juice?

7:54 PM Miss Gossip: red wine

TheHype: everytime I hear Andy Katz’ name I think of giant cat…

7:59 PM

Miss Gossip: for real

so what do we think, Bucks take the Yiiiii?

8:00 PM TheHype: Milwaukee… their center is an Aussie, their PF is hairless … seems apropos their rookie should be AZN

Miss Gossip: Yi is looking a little tense….

8:01 PM I feel you man, I wouldn’t want to go the Milwaukee either

8:02 PM p.s. his media day photo was by far the best

I may have my new rookie crush

depending on how he plays it when he gets picked

8:03 PM oh crap

here it comes

TheHype: eeeeee

Miss Gossip: don’t do it.


TheHype: BOOM



he looks hecka pissed

TheHype: Only because the govt already activated the internal poison

8:05 PM TheHype: they are NOT pleased

Miss Gossip: He’s going to get mysteriously injured

now do we really think his name is pronounced EEEEEEE like Stern said?

TheHype: Gongdong whoop whoop!

8:06 PM Stern is drunk

8:07 PM Andy Katz reporter extrodinaire, MEOW!

Miss Gossip: …..picture?

ooooh EEEE talks!

ask that fool how he really says his name

8:08 PM TheHype: his chinglish is slick

8:13 PM TheHype: My Corey Brewer nickname; BrewBear

Miss Gossip: awwwwwwwww

8:17 PM Miss Gossip: I can’t stand Miss Snaggly Tooth

TheHype: Ms Rachel Nichols needs some beauty sleep

Miss Gossip: what’s her name



8:25 PM NOAH

Miss Gossip: OH MY WORD

this is the moment I’ve been waiting for


Miss Gossip: bowtie

8:26 PM

Miss Gossip: Oh shit

Miss Gossip: after I finish making out with Brandan Wright

I’m gonna push up on that bowtie

oh baby doll


8:34 PM

TheHype: Acie Law THE FOURTH

8:39 PM Miss Gossip: Acie don’t look super-psyched

8:40 PM TheHype: Oh snap, I think I called Law2da4 in our FanHouse mock

Miss Gossip: you called him what?

8:41 PM TheHype: to go to A-Town


8:43 PM you ARE superior.

I love you HypeGuy……


8:45 PM TheHype: gtalk-five!

Miss Gossip: dag fool

that’s all I get?

for LOVING you?

a gtalk-five?

8:46 PM L to the Lame!

TheHype: uh… uhh …[looks around]… you look.. pretty?


Miss Gossip: kiss kiss

12th pick

TheHype: Thad Rad

8:47 PM Miss Gossip: naw


TheHype: hahha me likey

Miss Gossip: yes


Thad-Yo needs to “tighten up his ball skills”

are you drunk enough to find that funny?

8:48 PM TheHype: ballz hee hee hee

yes, very drunketh

Miss Gossip: Just got a message from Enrico, our friend over at The 700 Level…

“Enrico: who is thadeus young?


8:49 PM TheHype: pfft, he’s not on the Thad-Yo-Rad train

8:53 PM

Miss Gossip: Enrico at The 700 Level wants Philly to take Mike Nardi

9:40 PM who?

Mike Nardi?

don’t act like you don’t know the name

ain’t nothing changed but the change

TheHype: Mike who? Mike WHO? mike nardi

Miss Gossip: he will stay the same

TheHype: hahha

9:42 PM Miss Gossip: sorry Enrico

TheHype: Enrico’s gonna be at the 699 level now..

Miss Gossip: HA

9:43 PM no, he likes the trade

9:44 PM 701 Level

TheHype: go Enrico!

(photo: Batman Drunk Passed out by Doug Schwarz)

9:46 PM Miss Gossip: I am so drunk

what pick are we on?

I have no idea

what year is this

TheHype: 68th?


Miss Gossip: HOLY SHIT

TheHype: on Mars

Miss Gossip: are you for real?

I really thought it was 2006

on Earth.

TheHype: you had 2 kids

they both ran away

and water is now poison

9:47 PM ok I’ll stop 🙂


(yes, the bottle of wine is done)

9:48 PM TheHype: I think the % of JD and coke is now 91% to 9%

I’ll let you decided which is which

and coke as in cocain


10:03 PM Jazz selection? Someone white?

Miss Gossip: HA

10:05 PM cnot white

10:06 PM but he’s from Rice….?

10:07 PM TheHype: as in Condaleeza (sp????)

10:10 PM Miss Gossip: naw as in “white”

10:14 PM Miss Gossip: what’s the game?

drink every time we see Katz?

Miss Gossip: every time someone saus “eeee”?

TheHype: raaawr

10:15 PM Katz! Meow!

10:16 PM actually:

Miss Gossip: HA!!!!!!!!!!!


that’s what I was thinking with the name “Katz”

but in my drunkennes

I couldn’t put my drunk finger on it

10:17 PM TheHype: yous so fudgin drunkfth

Miss Gossip: whaddafugyutalginabou?

10:32 PM TheHype: Dick Vitale BABY, shut up BABY!

10:33 PM seriously STFU

10:34 PM Miss Gossip: when Dick Vitale talks

I hear:




TheHype: hahha

10:37 PM Miss Gossip: why is Stern laughing about this trade?

TheHype: i was thinking the same thing

10:38 PM he’s like “ke ke ke ke Pat Riley he he he he”

yo Pet is so happy

10:39 PM Miss Gossip: HAHAHAHAHAHA

this guy’s nickname

is going to be Pet-Ko!!!!!!!



10:39 PM

Miss Gossip: why does portland have mad picks this is like an NFL draft

10:46 PM TheHype: kevin pritchard… or it it richard pritchard? (wait… that doesn’t make sense…) is the devil

10:49 PM Miss Gossip: it’s kevin pritchard

richar pritchard… you’re thinking of Richard Pryer

TheHype: Pryor

we’re both drunk

10:49 PM Miss Gossip: ha




So, throwing this baby up as the Nets are stinkin’ up the joint… I can’t believe LeBron’s going to the Conference Finals in the dullest way imaginable. The Cavs lead by 15 right now at halftime… yeah right Bron gives this up… Alright, please, leave any comments, voodoo chants or game insights for the upcoming Game 6 in a few hours (or you can talk about the the rest of the Cavs/Nets game…BWAHAaahahha.. riiiight..)

— So LeBron is actually very good… when he fuckin gives half a crap. Great job guys, would ya do us a favor and give the world something to care about in the Conference Finals against the Pistons? Thanks! Hugs & Kisses xoxox

— FREE JEFFREY VAN GUNDY! Seriously tho… must be awk-ward this morning with the ESPN guys prepping up right…?

MIKE BREEN: (reading the news that Jeff’s fired) Oh no… oh.. no… ohno ohno ononononononono!

JVG: What is it Breeny?

MB: uhhh… how can I say this… um… Hrm… Okay… when one parent doesn’t love the other…

JVG: The fuck are you talking about Mike?

MB: … I love you


MB: I mean I mean I mean… you got canned man

JVG: oh.. yheah, seen that shit coming, no biggie — you don’t think I knew that when I agreed to come on with you dumbbells?


5-4: STAT picks up his first foul already…. this is gonna be tough

8:45: okay I’m switching back to “time” format rather than score, because there’s no way knowing who’s who… anyways… right now I can’t tell which voice is Jeff’s and which one’s Jon Barry’s. 7-7

5:51: Nice to see both teams are “on”. Don’t want no dud game yo. I wonder when they’ll talk about Jeff’s fired ass? Cooooome oooon, talk about it already!

3:37: Barbosa gets a good strong layup/banker, a steal and also going up strong.. that’ll dust off any Game 5 Brazilian funk, also known as Sao Paolo SuckFest. Meanwhile Stoudamire is looking nice on offence and active on D

— I feel JVG is commentary-mic hogging, bastard! But he’s good, breaking down plays, 21-19 for PHX

— YAY, they get to talk about *feelings*! About Van Gundy’s pink-slip. Damn, Mike Breen is impressive… big chaos plays going on and Breen is STILL able to question Jeff and call the play by play!

— End of first and we’re all tied up at 23… the pace obviously isn’t PHX’s but Spurs won’t let that happen anyway. Clickey to read on..

Click it real good, CLICK IT!

> everything else.

yin-yang2.jpgThe mystical Miss Gossip (aka SunsGossip aka Boris Diaw Stalker #37) and I decided to do a “live blog” game-notes of sorts for last night’s game. To see the devastating results of two people with wi-fi laptops and tons of free time, I invite you to soldier on below. Be warned, the surplus of facial hair/lookalike commentary may cause radiation after consumption……

10:41 PMMiss Gossip: Who are you rooting for?????

10:41 PMTheHype: like duh, you even have to ask?

Hubie Brown.



10:42 PMMiss Gossip: wait I wasn’t ready
do it again

TheHype: NOW!
10:43 PMMiss Gossip: Ummm I have Nate Jones in another chat window. I don’t know if I can deal with his Lakerism.
Much love, Nate.
TheHype: BLOCK HIM!!! hahah kidding
10:44 PM 2-2, Amare with a travel… you know, I feel he freaking travels every single time, but glad they don’t call it…
10:45 PMMiss Gossip: Boris travels all the time
It’s a French thing
10:46 PMwait, Ronny started??
TheHype: I can’t wait until he dances
always my favorite part of the game
LUKE WITH A KISS TO BRITNEY!!! i mean.. a 3..
10:47 PMMiss Gossip: you’re actually, like, calling game action
I guess I’m supposed to be the color commentator
10:47 PMTheHype: ba da ching!
Okay, so Hausers across the board last night blew the predictions.. let’s make it up tonight

Miss Gossip: NOT ME
10:49 PMI was right on. picked the winner and the fact that Turiaf got a TNT Flight of the Night
TheHype: LIES

10:50 PMMiss Gossip: GO CHECK THE POST FOOL!
10:51 PMTheHype: uh, you said “L.A.”, based on that, you should’ve been disqualified XD
10:52 PM okay, technicalities aside, back to da game 15-14 Fakers up!!??!?
Miss Gossip: Relax
They’re gonna get tired.
10:53 PMTuriaf is already slowing down
10:55 PMMiss Gossip: Live look-in….. Warriors are up (yay!) Clippers are up (uh-oh!).
10:56 PMTheHype: So I know Dub Nation is crazy, what are YOU willing to do for them to make it to the postseason? (nothing PG13, I want RAW ish)
10:57 PMMiss Gossip: ummmm something that will actually help? Like hitting Sam Cassell in the knees with a tire-iron?
TheHype: That is HOT
10:58 PMMiss Gossip: YAYYYY Boris!
He plays better when he comes off the bench.
It’s a French thing.
TheHype: It’s an elf thing
10:59 PMMiss Gossip: boooooooooooooo Hype mean!
11:05 PMwhat’s your point total for KB tonighte?
TheHype: 388 points
Miss Gossip: naw
I think that’s a little high.
TheHype: oh.. you’re right.. definitely not 50+
11:06 PM33 pts, and 3 assists… what you got for Nash?
Miss Gossip: wait, I don’t get to pick for Kobe too?
TheHype: Denied!
Okay okay fine.. shoot
11:07 PMMiss Gossip: Kobe…. 47 points. 0.5 assists.
TheHype: Ooh, so an off the glass jam eh? NICE
Miss Gossip: exactly.
11:08 PM Nash: 29 points, 13 assists. The 13 is for today’s lucky Friday the 13th.
11:09 PM DAG! Golden State straight ran away with this while I blinked, up by 20.
11:10 PMTheHype: Whaaaa?! I’m calling shananigans
Ron Artest probably took half the Kings squad with him to a club at the end of 1st
11:11 PMMiss Gossip: mmmhmmm
Bynum looks a little bit like the guy from Scrubs/Clueless.

TheHype: dude, I love Scrubs
Donald Faison, what up!
11:12 PM I think.. and this is weird.. he looks like…. Ashanti…
11:13 PMMiss Gossip: I’d have to see a picture. But I’ll take your word for it.
Jordan Farmar kind of looks like that guy who plays for the D-Fenders.
11:14 PMTheHype: Yeah eh! I hear he got scooped up by the Lakers
maybe Farmar might’ve ran into him?
Miss Gossip: wait, they’re BOTH playing for the Lakers now?!!!

11:16 PMTheHype: Maybe Henry Abbott can play for them at halftime?
the blogging skills can FINALLY pay off
11:19 PM 35 – 35 , 7 of 8 shooting for Nash, I really think he has magical powers
11:26 PM I would love to see this game played for 48 minutes with NO fouls, timeouts, or breaks between periods. Just run and shoot for 48 minutes straight.
except take a timeout right now because I have to pee.

11:27 PMTheHype: That? Is Don Nelson’s wet dream… the 48 minutes straight thing, not the.. uh.. other thing..
Miss Gossip: although this game is kinda low-scoring so far
TheHype: Where’s the Gorilla to hype up the match when you need him??
11:28 PMMiss Gossip: here he is!
11:31 PMTheHype: 46-44 Rah Rah with a three! Btw, you believe that stuff about Raja and Kobe being “civil” to each other now?
11:32 PM I think they secretly go out on movie nights between games….
it’s all an act….

11:33 PMMiss Gossip: you think they’re, like dating?
wait, does Amare have an equals sign shaved into his hair?

or is that just a bad haircut
TheHype: questions questions questions…
11:34 PM (okay, break time… gotta get a drink!)
Miss Gossip: grab one for me too, please
11:35 PM make it a double.
11:55 PMMiss Gossip: you want me to look for some pics of the Scrubs guy during timeouts?
TheHype: psshh, I have him on my desktop wallpaper!

11:56 PM wait.. that..’s not weird right?
Miss Gossip: hahahahaha
ummm is he nekkid?
DAMN the Suns can’t hit their alley-oops tonight.
11:58 PMTheHype: 57 – 53 Suns… llaaaamme late call
11:59 PMMiss Gossip: that was a funny story about Turiaf, I saw that chest-pound thing
I think that was Tim Thomas that hit him in the chest
Tim Thomas, always up to something
we’re onto you Tim
12:00 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha
ewww did he just say James Jones can’t “break the seal”?

12:01 AMTheHype: awk-ward
12:08 AMTheHype: 103-93 Dubs.. close game now?
12:09 AMMiss Gossip:I’m keeping my eye on it.
I got two TVs and a desktop computer (in addition to this laptop I’m typing on). Three games at a time
12:10 AMTheHype: oh yea?? well.. I have.. a cup of water in my right hand.. THERE
mike_dantoni.jpg12:11 AM NICE hustle Boris!
Miss Gossip: He pissed PJ off!!!
TheHype: It’s a French thing
12:12 AMMiss Gossip: oui oui.
12:16 AMTheHype: I think D’Antoni, even as he’s very angered with the ref calls, rocks a bitchin’ moustache
12:17 AMMiss Gossip: oh hellz yeah
12:21 AM well shit, maybe it’s ok if the Clips win then, just let the Lakers keep losing. WARRIORS IN THE PLAYOFFZ!
12:22 AMTheHype: That is crazy, not over a month ago Nellie was all like … ‘blah blah, not making playoffs, blah blah I’m old and moody, blah blah blah’
12:23 AMMiss Gossip: hahaha it was all just a HEAD GAME he was playing on his boys!
TheHype: one questions though, will B-Diddy EVER shave that beard
12:24 AM that thing is massive!
Miss Gossip: DUDE
barondavis.jpgit’s a playoff beard
he can’t shave until they’re out.
TheHype: I think there’s like a pack of wolves living in there
12:25 AMMiss Gossip: hahahaha

12:26 AMTheHype: touché
12:29 AM Woah, Vuja..Vuya…Vuajkajkcjich is making this a game??
12:30 AMMiss Gossip: nah
don’t be fooled young Hype.
TheHype: you must teach me the Ways, Jedi Master
12:33 AMMiss Gossip: oh shit
not now
Lakers are about to make a move
TheHype: 76-71, grrr we haven’t had a monster STAT jam
Miss Gossip: just had a monster STAT missed jam.
hey! there was Go the Gorilla, did you see him?
12:34 AMTheHype: damnit, I missed it, he’s an elusive one… always trying to woo a young lady/gorilla
12:35 AM Luke Walton dipped his head in a bucket of water or what
Miss Gossip: yeah I think so
lukewalton.jpg12:36 AM he does it to get that cool glistening look
they teach you tricks like that in the soap operas.
12:38 AMTheHype: I’m totally using that next time I go out — LADIES…
12:40 AM off topic (—> picture): hornets-cheerleader.jpgjust breaks my heart…
12:41 AMMiss Gossip: HA!!! I saw that chick on TV when I was watching that game.
12:42 AM awww don’t worry OKC — you’ll get the Sonics soon enough, trust me.
shit I should be a little more worried about this game.
12:43 AMTheHype: just a “little”, ugh! missing the gimmes
Miss Gossip: fuck!
tjree [pint game
*three point game
just kidding
Nash came through.
12:44 AMTheHype: Luke, take your glistening hair outta here!
12:45 AMMiss Gossip: Love that Nash jump-fake pass
12:50 AMTheHype: eep, finish them Sun-ers!
Miss Gossip:shot clock!
12:52 AMTheHype: slice up the tomatoes and put some bacons on this sub, this game’s DONE
(that better have made sense somewhere in this world)
12:53 AMMiss Gossip: I don’t know
it’s not over yet….
TheHype: ye of little faith
12:54 AMMiss Gossip: nooooooooooo I have faith
I’m just saying.
TheHype: How does Raja keep his dome so fresh?
12:55 AM
and I realize i’ve been VERY keen on hair styles this conversation…
it’s not the norm.. I ASSURE you
Miss Gossip: duuuude he has a personal barber
the same guy that does Puffy’s hair.
12:57 AMTheHype: Scandalous!
Miss Gossip: SUNS!!!!!!!!!
Miss Gossip: dag fool, we did a terrible job of doing any kind of “liveblogging” of this
12:59 AM you better delete all of this
TheHype: I know… apologies readers..
if you made it this far
email me, I’ll congratulate you personally
until next time…. this has been…
1:00 AMthe Miss Gossip & TheHype Hour of Rikidiculousness in NBA Blogging
Miss Gossip: & Other Unrelatednessness!

…wait, that’s not how you do this…

Ah crud. Oh well, almost everyday is April Fool’s around here anyways 😉

Joinez-moi avec une Live-Blogge over here y’all!

Alright hopefully I won’t miss too much as I run in the cold to get back. Check back in a bit for Spurs vs. Lakers!

Quarter Oscar Robertson (1) or what’s left of it:

— what..*gasp* what..*inhales* did…I miss…? 17-11 Spurs up with under 3. So.. I missed nothing.

— oh my, the picture I have here is totally hogging the page and making the formatting look like trash

— I better add a couple more points to manually fix it

— Hopefully this does it

— YES! Okay, back to the action: It’s nice to see Odom back. He’s getting into form with 3-4 shooting and already 7pts

— Howeva, the purple calf tights/brace? is kinda fugly. Damnit Purple should just die in sports already

Quarter Mitch Richmond (2)

— movie star sighting: Tobey McGuire… you’re killing me here Mike Breen

— the Triangle is like poetry when it’s run right: Farmer to high post Turiaf and in a split second bounce pass to the baseline cutter Bryant for the easy jam.

— Here’s my Ronny Turiaf connection as he’s on the line for 2 after a missed dunk from sick a no look pass from KB24: I went to a junior college with one baller Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes. A year later he got recruited to play with Turiaf at Gonzaga (still there). Boy even got ink on ish edit: 64 76  (p.150, if you really care) of SLAM (I remember cuz I was the only one to run right to him giggling “OMGOMGOMG” while no else remotely cared or knew)

— that picture of Duncans is REAL

To Read The Rest, Absolutely FREE, Click Here!

Coming to you LIVE FROM MONTREAL (at my friend’s little apartment with not nearly enough of a heating system for this type of weather) It’s the first ever (and probably only.. we’ll see..) NBA Sunday Live-Blogging fiasco Phenomenon!

This afternoon’s ABC double-header of PHX vs. Cavs and Spurs vs. Lakers will be sporadically live-blogged right here. Expect incites (™WNTZ) of epic proportions—or just constant reminiscing of NBC’s broadcast over the current, shitty ABC! I say sporadic because even the Wi-Fi around these parts caught the cold, we’re all on the fritz!

Anyways, if you’re watching along, by all means drop some knowledge in the comments. So come on back when it’s One On The Clickety (™Steve Nash via JMac) aka 1pm. This shall be fun.. or else.

Quarter Chauncey Billups (1)

— let’s start this mutha up.. and right off the bat word is that my buddy is threatening to kick me out at any given moment (let’s all pray it’s somewhere near halftime… of the second game.. because I do NOT want to go outside again..)

— Pussycat Dolls… get off my basketball viewage go to back to singing bad songs

— Mike Tirico and the great Hubie Brown.. hmm, Mr. Breen is busy?

— Boris “Boom Boom” Diaw hahaha, and STAT just gave ZZZzzz his 532th posterized

— so far there’ve been 3 dunks for the two teams combined… I think the word “trend” can be used here somehow… if only I knew English..

— Diaw’s rockin’ that “streak” mustachio. Yo Boom Boom, it’s only making your “Frenchness” stick out!!

— Zzzz just got #533 by guess who…

— back from capitalism intermission (also known as commercials).. and we find out that Damon Jones is mic-ed… I’m going to guess this turns out underwhelming

— omg, an ad for some new Jim Carrey movie called “The Number 23” and it looks spooky evil and shit. My only conclusion is: MICHAEL JORDAN IS JIM CARREY!

— Marcus Banks sighting! The legend is true! oh and CLE up 23-19 after a Barrrrrbosa FT

— end of 1st Quart, Banks couldn’t beat the clock a breakaway layup. Lebron leading the way with 9pts and $3243 million dollars made with me just typing this

For the rest of this mental exercise CLICKEZ ICI!


Full disclosure before this game gets started: I’ve only seen Chapters 1-5 from last year’s weird “phenomenon” (which is why the joke is a bit stale).

Annnyyyways. Good morning y’all, this is a great way for me to get a head start in the day as after the game I’m heading straight out with the advantage of having the whole day ahead of me. That’s assuming I don’t collaspe from exhaustion of waking up at this zombie hour.

Clicky away to see if I can last a quarter without falling asleep!