Archive for the ‘NBA Injuries’ Category
Oy, two posts in one day about the Miami Heat? Ugh. Oh well, we have to toughen up for this shit.
So mister D-Wade isn’t going to be back on time for training camp because the doctor has some words of sage advice:
“I’m a fast healer, but my doctor really wants to make sure I’m well and I’m healthy and we don’t have to go through this process again,” Wade said. “He’d rather for me not to rush back to get in training camp and maybe aggravate something early in the season.”
Dude plays hard every night so I don’t blame the Doctor to keep an eye on things. I guess there really isn’t a point to this post other than to photoshop Wade in Doctor Who because there’s a doctor involved in the story. And also because Doctor Who is magnificent… and also because I’m a nerd.
Man, I thought Golden State would never lose at home — that’s the contract they signed wasn’t it? Damn, I don’t want to say the Warriors are done…… but…… the Warriors are done. Sorry my dear dear Bay Area pals (you know who you are) but the Jazz aren’t Dallas Choke-vericks.
They’ve got Acne Boozer; Turtle D-Williams, Mr. Roboto #47 and Okur. The only other place you’d find that eclectic mix of culture and race in one place is during a drug deal (my frame of reference only extend to stereotypical blockbuster action films and not real life). Last night, if anything was another typical Jazz game. They kept doing their thing and got their win.
Warriors, of course, tried to keep doing their thing, just this time the shots weren’t falling. If it did, I’m sure the series would’ve been 2-2 now. But alas, such is why a dream cannot be continued.
Andrei Kirilenko, please summarize your thoughts:
“People go all crazy,” Kirilenko said. “You dunk on me, OK, next time I’m still going to try to block your shot again. “It’s a different mentality. Guys try to put their ass in your face or say something. I’m not intimidated by that stuff.”
Thank you wordsmith.
VC15, trapped in the closet (R.Kelly don’t
rape sue me)
In other Playoffs news
Vincent Lamar Carter apparently had an ouchie with his vagina pinky finger in Game 3 against the Cavaliers:
Vince Carter‘s left pinkie knuckle, bruised in Game 3, was wrapped yesterday. But he said “It’s not broken, so I can play.”
Yeah? You can? GREAT. VC’s little boo-boo notwithstanding, I think the LeBrons will take this game tonight. It’s cool and all for Jason Kidd to remember he can shoot from the outside again, ditto for Jefferson getting his, but the sooner this series end, the better it will be on our souls.
In other OTHER Playoff news, the Phoenix Suns try not to fall into oblivion. What I’m saying is that if they lose tonight, and go down 3-1, it would make my NBA fandom very sad. Suns making it to the Finals this year means so much for me. It would mean that the NBA has room for all types of champion styles; it would mean that for once, I team I rooted for from beginning to end of season could go all the way; it would mean awesomeness. For all the great things D’Antoni, Nash, Marion, Stoudamire has given us, I feel it’s for nothing and another year gone of Nash’s greatness. Gawd, fucking Spurs.
He’s fat. And a big baby.— Antoine Walker believes he can have his cake and eat 600 of them too!
Heat forward Antoine Walker — due $8.5 and $9.3 million the next two years — said he ”definitely” plans to speak to Pat Riley about his desire to be a starter, if he’s not traded. ”I play better as a starter. For me to be an effective player in this system, there’s a certain way you have to play. We’ve got to balance out this attack.”
Riiiight. There are 5 things wrong in that last statement. But I be classy and not joke of them. Nope. I won’t connect the obvious joke of the words “balance”; “Walker”; “can’t”; and “fat”. No sir, not here!
— And finally, a request to my Spanish readers, help me out: what’s going on in this page, and specifically, shed light on Mr. Boniface N’Dong PLEASE. That is front runner for best name in the history of the world.
What is this? Blood?
NO ONE MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD!
So once again, the Spurs, the g’damn Spurs, are deciding that the whole world can’t live in a place without having a tie-less Gregg Poppppppovich become supreme ruler of the all that is holy in basketball. Damn they are so good they give me acid reflux — and I don’t even know what that is.
Would Nash have made a difference in the outcome of the game yesterday had he not sat out the important moments of the game? Would the game result be different of some of iffy “lucky bounce” calls of the refs weren’t called? Those are the QTs (not Quentin Tarantinos, but “questions”) many bballer fans are asking this Monday-day.
Though the calls sucked, I don’t think they were controversial enough that decided the game — it was more ‘eh’ what can do you, those shit things happen. Here’s the kicker: the Suns can win this series because that Game 1 told me something, they can hang with the Spurs. YES, I know the Spurs won, I went to see the eye doctor prior to tipoff to sure I won’t make up things as the game went on.
However, the main thing was that D’Antoni & Co. weren’s fazzled dazzled, they just looked focused: need a bucket, find a scorer. It’s just that some of the late calls stopped all their momentum. I’m not sure about all the the Spuriffic Jedi Tricks I’ve read about the series and how they want the Suns to score–they’ll match them or they want Nash or STAT to put up big numbers–they’ll shut down the others. Not buying it just like I didn’t buy that $60 pairs of jeans the other day, I mean come ON 60 bucks? For a pair of jeans? Who do you think I am? The Prince of Persia? Sheesh!
Other Series Yo (In Pictoral Analysis):
Pistons Vs. Bulls
Cavaliers Vs. Nets
Warriors Vs. Jazz
RANDOM NON-SEQUITUR UPDATE:
Because Jamie Mottram and Steinz continue their effortful crusade to share with the TV world the big fun of sports blogs, here by she Blog Show #7: The Quickening (where a certain doodle post by a certain someone got mentionez … hint: IT WAS ME! MEEEEE! suck on that Pixar* 🙂 )
*I’m sorry Pixar, I love you baby… I’m nothing without you…
May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through
illegal wiretap “special” ways:
*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*
[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*—click—phone picked up]
uh… he… hello?
YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO
um… KG, that you…?
Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
[off to the side] I know.
Listen to me, it’s not your fault.
[serious] I know.
No you don’t, it’s not your fault.
Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.
I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?
Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.
You know, I’m not too sure about this ‘tanking’ business in the NBA. 1) Because I never worked in the NBA and 2) ‘tanking’ as an expression, seems… so… I dunno, 1992. Nevertheless, this enigma apparently exists in the NBA—the art of losing.
(As a side note, if the goal of a franchise is to lose on purpose, and if they succeed in doing so, then they must be winners right? Or do we need to smoke up some more?)
This year, like any other year, the usual suspects fine tuned their heavy duty tank engines down the stretch. Exhibit C-9, Subsection 12: the Boston Celtics. Ziller Time noted on la Hause that the Cees were actively engaging in the Nation of Tank, praise be with upon Lottery Balls. And in case you want some more investigativism, Wages of Win via TrueHoop, used a calculator or something gave us numbers to back all that shit up. So congrats Doc Rivers, you earned this one—go and grab yourself that cherry soda you rightly deserve champ.
Sooooo, what do I really have to contribute to all this? TEE-SHIRTS! YAAAAAAY!
Check ’em out friends, you got your Boston colorway, Knicks orange & blue, sorta Portland-y reds/black and Memphis baby blues (I pretty much gave up figuring what colors they actually wear… what the hell is that?)
They hot cuz they fly!
Housekeeping: my internet service providers are like the German National Curling Team: LOSERS! They think I’m Morpheus so they shut off my intertube access due to “spam”… haters. I’m currently stealing wi-fi from my neighbors (hi!!) but it’s slower than Antoine Walker. Hopefully I get things straightened out by the end of the week.
Every Wednesday from now until the playoffs (or eternity, whichever comes first), the Unrelatedness shall embark on a writing quest to look at which teams will look to make a substantial impact in the postseason… and the latest ‘trends’… whatever the hell that is.
Maverick wasn’t just a title for the lame movie starring renowned Jewish historian Mel Gibson, it is also the name of the Dallas squad who are very good at playing the sport where participants bounce a spherical object into a netted goal. (Apologies all around if I somehow associated the Mavs with Gibson… that’s just the way my mind went… I’m not taking it back though!) You see, the Dallas Mavericks aren’t just good, they are like that kid in grade school that KNOWS EVERYTHING: how they get the different colours in the fireworks — they know it; How you can make your own recycled paper — they know how; Why the Titanic is causing environment concerns — Billy Taylor knows why! God, such a prick.
umm… where was I… oh yea, NBA: Look, Dirk & Co. are so well oiled up right now, Ron Jeremy is jealous. The game against PHX notwitstanding (because it was a fantasic game either way), Mavs know how to close out games. You can’t buy mental toughness like that at Chinatown no matter how much Mr. Cheng swears to you his ‘mental toughness dried cow liver’ is worth your $25!
Sunny Delight is a drink I’ve never actually drank in my life. True fact. However, the Phoenix Suns on the other hand, I just can’t get enough of even if they came in liquid form. As solid as they have been this year… and they’re probably solid-er than their previous two transcendent seasons, I hope to Buddha that they make it to the Finals. I’m by no means saying their season and reputation is “lost” or whatever, but just to legitimize their status as contender — not just in the regular season — is something they need in order to play the same way next year.
Hey, I love their style as much as anyone, that is why it means that much more to see them at the biggest stage.
Spur-tas-tic? I dunno about you, but the SanAn-ton-io (probably not spelled that way) Spurs remind me of the original Drunken Master. One look at them, you’re thinking they couldn’t hold water to Uncle Dan over at the YMCA Rec League. But nay my friends, that is how the Drunken Master works… they booze all day, going tipsy on you, letting you think they can’t even stand on their own two feet, then — BAM! — 3rd Form, 2nd Stage Palm Grasp in the jugular punks!
On an entirely unrelatedness note in regards to the Spurs: I really hate their metallic off-jersey. Please destroy those poste haste.
The Beast of the East is something I competely made up. It doesn’t exist. It’s like the Tooth Fairy, Loch Ness and the Moon Landing, all fabrications of a madman. Who is going to represent the East this year with an iron fist?
The Heat probably are the safest/weirdest bet as they somehow made a bet with the devil to rehab Dwyane Wade as fast as possible while maximizing their games. When/should Wade come back as post-season hits, their style of play is a hassle to play with, big or small. Detroit looks to be tuning it up for the final stages and could very well avenge their loss to Miami as well. Cavaliers: screw them, I don’t believe in them, their defense won’t be able to contain the aforementioned other two squadrons of death. Chi-town‘s military base team is getting everyone amped up for their long run, and they very well could do it… but their game is fashioned so tight, I feel as though someone/something’s going to pop (probably one of Skiles’s veins…)
Taking a look at tonight’s matchups… holy shit there’s a lot of games on! Philly at D.C.: help each other out, Oden for Division title…… Indiana at Joisay: battle of hot mediocrity action…… Miami at T-Dot: if the Dinos are capable of winning this one, they will own this year’s title for Resilient Team…… and finally Bucks at Dallas: it will look like that scene at the beginning of Scarface……
Okie, as we near the end of the season we really should look at which teams are bound to make it all the way. I mean, we really should. But let’s take look at a team that shouldn’t even be talked about, but is trying to make a rumble.
Specifically, 76ers. Winning four in a row yo, J.B. fills us in. What is up with that gang? Don’t you guys want top picks in da lottery? They’ll have are a hard time securing that spot since Hotlanta, Boston and Mumphis are better losers than they are (that makes him Winners!). But, I’m glad this his surge has been also good to Iggy, (good thing we checked up on him), ballin’ straight up this past month (20+ pts in almost all of them). It’s great that he’s building that momentum to become a greater player, and winning certainly helps.
HOWEVA, what about the draft picks? They’re flirting with that unattainable girl called Playoffs:
Why not?” is how Andre Iguodala would answer that.
“Look at the Orlando Magic last year,” Iguodala said. “They were in a similar position. Nobody was looking at them and they sprouted up and finished ninth and surprised everybody. You never know.
“We’re going to keep playing hard and we’re going to play like we have a chance. We can only control what goes on on the court.”
“It’s been the high point of the season so far,” Iguodala said.
“I was at an autograph signing and this guy was saying, “You guys are playing well, and that’s good, but we’re not getting a lottery pick if you guys keep winning,’ ” Sixers forward Andre Iguodala said.
Can’t knock A.Iv2.0 and his confidence and spirit though, even in a weird/bad year that his team went through. Good thing home town Philly-ers feel the same way, as a recent SLAM feature shows his popularity.
Yao apparently is cleared to face the flippin casual Cavs tonight! And he’s going to be wearing an leg instrument!
“The new brace Keith found is doing its thing really well,” Dawson said. “Yao likes it. Everything is looking good. He’s made a lot of progress.”
*I know it’s his right leg, but I think we all know Yao needed to balance the weight.
I bet Zzzz is happy that Mr. Ming isn’t at full strength yet, and they’ll have their epic battle of the slow moving mountains tonight. But, a limping Yao trumps a normal Z any day. Advantage, Robocop leg.
So I thought I could’ve held out for another couple of days seeing that my blogging brain was taking a breather with studyin/papers and whatnot (ESPECIALLY the whatnot) but I succumbed to the inevitable holler of ye NBA bloggin (AT 4AM TOO!!).
So hells yeah, I’m the latest recruit into the Legion of NBA FanHaus Bloggers/CrimeFighters where I’ll hopefully, finally, learn the goodness that is spellcheck—oh, that and actually posting things that reaches (by my estimations) at least 9 other people that likes ‘toons.
That’s the biggie thing of the day/week, hopefully y’all come by and check out my shnits over there. But don’t worry happy campers, The Unrelatedess ain’t going nowhere (that’s a fact, I specifically signed a document with this fella called Lucifer) because damnit I paid for the domain name so I’ll get my money’s worth!
Alright, so, we all saw it by now. I’m not going to link to it because, well, I’m sure it’s pretty much the most seen thing for the past day. First off, I hope Shaun Livingston makes the best of recoveries and secondly wish that no one else ever goes through that. But well, we see a common denominator of late… one that I linked to the other day (Jake helped me connect the dots)… so Gatorade? Let’s just pull those ads out of the running for a while shall we?
Hopefully the Bog’s devout DC followers finds these acceptable. I do wish the’d wear it and go to a local Subways, all at once just to see what their reactions would be like.
Don’t do it for me… do it for… the fresh tomatoes!!
We also would’ve accepted: “Man, fuck this!” or “Shenanigans!” but the editing process is a complex beast that could go 7 rounds with LOST’s ‘black myst monster’. And oh yea… Steve’s head is big, I wonder why no one else picked up this, like, ever. Huh.
Quickie: The East All-Stars WILL WIN THE ALL STAR GAME!
I’m only basing this on the fact that there are a slew of players on the West that’s basically
faking rehabing injuries:
- Steve Nash
- possibly Melo
- Yao (well, that’s legit)
- DJ MBenga
So there, I win.
But check it, he was on Jimmy Kimmel Live a couple months ago! And his English is pretty good I’d say, dunno why he needed a translator, lookie see:
Man, I wished that Wanda Sykes added even more spice to the interview. Oh and hell ya that translator is hot, I don’t care if it’s just cause I’m azn. And Jimmy is horrible at ball.
Next video, because if you’re a regular of this blog you know I loves me my toons, so this is totally me: