Archive for May, 2007
What is this? Blood?
NO ONE MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD!
So once again, the Spurs, the g’damn Spurs, are deciding that the whole world can’t live in a place without having a tie-less Gregg Poppppppovich become supreme ruler of the all that is holy in basketball. Damn they are so good they give me acid reflux — and I don’t even know what that is.
Would Nash have made a difference in the outcome of the game yesterday had he not sat out the important moments of the game? Would the game result be different of some of iffy “lucky bounce” calls of the refs weren’t called? Those are the QTs (not Quentin Tarantinos, but “questions”) many bballer fans are asking this Monday-day.
Though the calls sucked, I don’t think they were controversial enough that decided the game — it was more ‘eh’ what can do you, those shit things happen. Here’s the kicker: the Suns can win this series because that Game 1 told me something, they can hang with the Spurs. YES, I know the Spurs won, I went to see the eye doctor prior to tipoff to sure I won’t make up things as the game went on.
However, the main thing was that D’Antoni & Co. weren’s fazzled dazzled, they just looked focused: need a bucket, find a scorer. It’s just that some of the late calls stopped all their momentum. I’m not sure about all the the Spuriffic Jedi Tricks I’ve read about the series and how they want the Suns to score–they’ll match them or they want Nash or STAT to put up big numbers–they’ll shut down the others. Not buying it just like I didn’t buy that $60 pairs of jeans the other day, I mean come ON 60 bucks? For a pair of jeans? Who do you think I am? The Prince of Persia? Sheesh!
Pertinent Series Reads:
Pounding the Rock (200% awesome)
AZ Sports Hub (hey, A-Z, that’s like the alphabet!)
Bright Side of the Sun (Sunny D-light!)
The Rising Suns (yo where you at Lucas?!)
Other Series Yo (In Pictoral Analysis):
Pistons Vs. Bulls
Cavaliers Vs. Nets
Warriors Vs. Jazz
RANDOM NON-SEQUITUR UPDATE:
Because Jamie Mottram and Steinz continue their effortful crusade to share with the TV world the big fun of sports blogs, here by she Blog Show #7: The Quickening (where a certain doodle post by a certain someone got mentionez … hint: IT WAS ME! MEEEEE! suck on that Pixar* 🙂 )
*I’m sorry Pixar, I love you baby… I’m nothing without you…
May 5th: Houston Rockets got edged out by Utah Jazz in the 1st Round of the 2007 Playoffs. It is also T-Mac’s millionth early exit… making his fans (whoever’s still openly admits to being one) very sad all over again. The following is the transcript of a phone call that we at the Unrelatedness obtained through illegal wiretap “special” ways:
[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*]
*whimper* Ahhhh. *sigh*
[*riiiiiiiiiing……riiiiiiiiing*—click—phone picked up]
uh… he… hello?
YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO
um… KG, that you…?
Look man, I just wanted to say: I’ve been there. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
[off to the side] I know.
Listen to me, it’s not your fault.
[serious] I know.
No you don’t, it’s not your fault.
Fuck man. Kev, for that last time, stop that Good Will Hunting shit! I think you have a problem.
…
[…]
I’m… I’m sorry… it was on TV last night… um.. talk to you later?
Whatever. You’re such a geek sometimes.
> everything else.
We continue with our in-depth investigative reporting on comparing a tv show we like with NBA basketball players. Why? Because I just calls ’em as I sees ’em. Oh yeah, and Lost can go jump off a bridge.
adfsdf/>
Linderman & Nathan Petrelli = Kobe & PJax
Oh I went there!
Okay, to be brutally honest, I’m being cute here, this one is definitely more of a ‘lookalike’ comparison than real analysis… I mean, just look at Linderman! He’s such a Zen Master!
On the show, Linderman is this “all knowing elite boss” that wants to impose his world philosophy upon the world, whether they like it or not. Sound familiar?
(Side note: did I just have 3 paragraphs that started with words beginning with the letter “O”? Huh.)
Nathan Petrelli is this smug bastard of a politician that wants it all to be about him. He’s constantly undermining his own family members just to get ahead in the polls — also, his power is flying, something every man deeply wants to do, but cannot, thus we are envious with rage.
Holy shit! That one totally works! TheHype +2 pts AND the foul!
Candice Wilmer = Vince Carter
1) Vince is a girl
2) Candice is hot
c) um… 1) & 2) didn’t create some sort of weird homo-erotic vibe did it…?
4) Explanation: Candice does “illusions” NOT ‘allusions’, whereby she is able to shift the appearance of the environment and herself thus fooling just about everyone. HMM… Nah, can’t be Vince right? Besides, Candice probably won’t settle for outside jumpers, so suck on that VC!
Everyone Else = Lottery Ballz
Ehh.. ran outta ideas. Really. I guess Claire’s pretty important to the show. But I keep going back to calling Carter a girl again…
Alright, so that wraps up this lil’ fun pack. Next time: the cultural phenomenon — 7th Heaven.
Finally! As much as I, like the rest of the sane world, wanted the crazy upset to happen, it was nice to see Dirk showing up to this series. The ice cream couldn’t have tasted as sweet if his 67 win team gets booted from the Uno Round.
His two clutch 3s were a thing of beauty, ICE COLD daggers son! Happy to see ze German get his MVP-on. I may, talk about worst.candidate.eva if he lost. Much like Nash last year with his MVP talk while “on the brink of being Lakered” (trademarked!) Steven did was he do and grew a pair when it mattered most.
For what it worth ($4.73 to be exact. Oh, and it’s in YEN bitches) Golden State will win on Thursday. That’s not a prediction, that is cold hard fact — harder than something’s that’s really hard.
In relevant news: Again with the Clap Back Ejections?!!?
Ken Mauer, dude. Look, your Poor man’s Pat Riley-slick-backed-hair is cool and all, but this is just getting ridiculous. Yes, I understand refs shouldn’t be showed up and all that bullcrap — but let’s face it, you guys are now looking like pussies for doing what you’re doing re: Clapgate. It’s especially annoying that you’re singling out Action Jackson. He’s slowly becoming my #1 Person To Call In Case I Ever Need to Have a Street Gang War Against My Annoying Neighbors That Asks “Heeeeeey, sooooo, how’s it going?” I Mean, Really? I Don’t Care About You, Or Your Stupid Dog! ……
Uh.. where was I? Oh yeah, in conlusion. I hate you Ken Mauer.
Sweet: Steve Kerr is blogging at 3 in the A.M., just like the rest of us bloggunatics! I love it.
Hmm, what else is floating around this early in the day? (yo 10am is early for me dude — I usually don’t get going until… 4, 5…9PM!)
RAP ATTACK!
Yay for the T-Dot peeps to make the series last slightly longer and giving home fans a good game to cheer on. They had a wonderful regular season and even though they weren’t even supposed to be in the postseason it’s great to see them getting their money’s worth.
As for the Nets? They might be able to close it out in the Swamp, with TJ Ford and Calderon bruised in a bad bad way — and the offense really needs their point guards. Darrick Martin, time for you to drop 50!
Because this post was inevitable from the likes of moi, as someone that is a TV addict as much as I am a hoops addict. Hence forth, thus is my obligatory melding of cultures with a common blog feature in comparing two seemingly unrelatedness things that are closer than you think… or something
Hiro Nakamura = Chris Bosh
Hiro in Heroes (hee!) is adored by the masses due to his light and comic tendencies as a character with a strong moral code of ethics. He always wants to save the day and has had dreams of being a real hero that is able to alter lives. His only downfall is that he is still so raw and doesn’t know how to control his abilities in able to maximize them. This is where Bosh comes in. CB4 has the skillz of a big man trapped in a Josh Howard body. However, the first round series versus the Nets have shown he can’t do it all (especially when he’s not connecting) — he needs a serious dominating presence… a sort of “evil Bosh” must come out and destroy all living things so that finally the rest of the world can see the type of elite skill he truly possess.
Isaac Mendez = Dirk Nowitzki
Isaac and paint the future — though he needed heroine to be able to use his clairvoyant powers. What? I’m saying Dirk’s a druggie? Nah, I’m just saying he fucking needs to get high or something because the way he’s playing now he’s like a lost puppy that got kicked in the stomach by a gang of hoboes (probably high on heroine, see what I did there?). So Dirk, if you don’t want to create a self-fulfilling “prophecy” of the future that your team is going to lose because you said so then play like you got some!
Baron Davis = Peter Petrelli + Sylar + the equation to life
I can’t even fully grasp this one. Maybe this would help, I’m not sure. Peter and Sylar are basically the opposites of each other: both has the exact powers, one for good, the other for evil. I believe The Baron is equipped with BOTH ENTITIES. He’s like Yoda ANd the Emperor — striking down the Rebels and the Empire all at once leaving us mere mortals scratching our puny heads trying to quantify his exact powers. Impossible is nothing? Impossible is Baron Davis.
Nikki/Jessica Sander = TMac
This one’s pretty easy: split personality. Tmac’s perpetual night/day heroics that as a fan either makes you cringe whenever he puts up shots or celebrate with bliss. Oh and yeah, just wanted to run the Ali Larter pic for the hell of it.
Part 2 with the other characters may or may not come later tonight or tomorrow. Or ever.
The Unrelatedness is…
...worth exactly two coffees and a donut...What You Need
TheHype’s FanHaus-isms- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
- TheHype Ballhypin’
- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
Hot Merch!
- Lowpost.net Latest Discussion
- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
- Most Hyphy’d at BallHype
- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
-
NBA Basketball and Other Unrelatedness 
